Fart foods?

[elpeludo 0]

Hey everyone,
I need some serious advice about what foods I can eat to produce a major butt biohazard. My boss is a massive asshole and I want to leave a nuclear payload in his office or around him. One of the other guys in the shop is a diabetic and OMG!! A double drop would be killer so, please give a list of the most gaseous producing foods available in the "free" world.

[elias123 0]

Bean and cheese burrito

"In a mad world, only the mad are sane"

[pinkfairy 0]

Just red beans. Outta the tin. Just add a little salt and pepper, and you have a delicious, nutricious meal that produces large quantities of gas fast. It's cheap and fast to prepare too.

Or bruxelles sprouts. A large plate of them, steamed or boiled to taste, add a bit of butter, salt and pepper, and you have great, healthy and cheap food that's fast to make and that produces a lot of gas.

The sprouts make more gas the day after, while the beans make gas just hours after consumed.

I love this kind of food, but found that I have to eat it with other food to avoid the gas. if you eat an entire meal of these foods you're almost guaranteed results.

I found out about the effects of sprouts while working as a nude model at an art school. I won't forget.

Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet.

I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you?

[normiss 851]

broccolli, washed down with Yuengling beers.
add a side of refried beans and some cabbage.
ferment for a few hours.
deliver as needed.

[airkid 0]

try drinking a protein shake....... it's not guaranteed to stink but it's almost certain you'll rip one.... try drinking one with the burrito...

[Glitch 0]

Well... I've been tossed out a cessna at 7K after boiled eggs and beers the night before.

Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born...

[millertime24 8]

I found the best combination is:

-Bean and beef buritos (about 2)
-About 6 or 7 Miller Lite's
-And a hefty big slice of cheezecake

This will actually smell so rancid that YOU probably wont even be able to stand it yourself!!

Oh yeah, and you do this the night before (don't wan't to be tipsy at work).

Muff #5048

[Brittentay 0]

airkid is right.
protein + more protein = the ability to clear a house
(proven by my ex)

i shudder just remembering the stench.

[Andy_Copland 0]

I was bragging about my latest invention just a couple of days ago..

Get some microwave hotdogs, throw them in and when cooked slice them like a bun and throw little red hot chilli peppers in there and eat.

I was on the toilet for ages.

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[DustyP 0]

i don't know about anyone else but, REDBULL!! I never seen the plane empty so fast!!

.

[keka 0]

cabbage and boiled eggs... add some black beans and you will have a nuclear war inside of you.

LOL

http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org
PMS#551
I love my life :)

[namgrunt 0]

go to SAM'S
buy a bag of there assorted dried fruit

..

59 YEARS,OVERWEIGHT,BALDIND,X-GRUNT
LAST MIL. JUMP VIET-NAM(QUAN-TRI)
www.dzmemories.com

[livendive 8]

Quote

broccolli, washed down with Yuengling beers.
add a side of refried beans and some cabbage.
ferment for a few hours.
deliver as needed.

What he said, but add in a couple of pickled eggs.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[gonzalesna 0]

Quote

try drinking a protein shake....... it's not guaranteed to stink but it's almost certain you'll rip one.... try drinking one with the burrito...

I second this motion... drink the shakes 2 times a day for a week and your ass will soon require a biohazard suit.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[keka 0]

Quote

Quote

try drinking a protein shake....... it's not guaranteed to stink but it's almost certain you'll rip one.... try drinking one with the burrito...

I second this motion... drink the shakes 2 times a day for a week and your ass will soon require a biohazard suit.

LMAO!!!!!!

http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org
PMS#551
I love my life :)

[tigra 0]

I'll have to ask my mother. When she and my father were still married, he was cheating and she knew about it. She still put dinner on the table for the family every night, but on his "Choir" nights (he met his mistress at church choir practice) she'd feed him stuff like polish sausage and cabbage. He was a big drinker too, and the combination made him offensive at both ends! The "mistress" was desperate enough to marry him after he divorced my mom anyway- no accounting for taste, I guess!

[turtlespeed 226]

Picallily and a giant pickled elephant garlic and broccoli.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[turtlespeed 226]

Quote

I found out about the effects of sprouts while working as a nude model at an art school. I won't forget.

Hey, thanks for PMing your portfolio - really great work you were doing.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[pgassett 0]

Sugar free candy made with sorbital

[elpeludo 0]

Quote

Sugar free candy made with sorbital

Dear GOD!!!"sorbital"........... I am just looking foreward to Nuking the Evil Empire,........ not leave
the remains of a lahore in my drawer's. Thank's for your reply. El Peludo

[BartsDaddy 7]

If you really want to get him. This is what you do. Get about a dozen Balut a big old pot of Kim Chi then wash it all down with a case of San Miguel beer. With that you will be ready to gas him out for a week or more

Handguns are only used to fight your way to a good rifle

[1888 0]

Just eat anything from the snack bar at our DZ

[Andrewwhyte 1]

Raw Cabbage and Turnip.

[freethefly 6]

Quote

If you really want to get him. This is what you do. Get about a dozen Balut a big old pot of Kim Chi then wash it all down with a case of San Miguel beer. With that you will be ready to gas him out for a week or more

Oh hell yes, eggs with legs. Ya must had spent some time in Olongapo
They're not bad once you get them past your nose. The gas is so bad, you can clear a flight deck on a windy day. I'd add a good helping of 12 bean soup to the mix. You could be labeled a WMD.

"...And once you're gone, you can't come back
When you're out of the blue and into the black."
Neil Young

[Broke 0]

Molson Ice

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192