Parents, help me out here

[Twoply 0]

I've never been prone to nightmares but the other night I have this hell kind of dream that I forgot my son outside in a shopping cart while it was a snowstorm. When I came back, he was frozen and looking at me with that "help me" look. I awoke all frenzied and heart banging in my chest and it took a long time to calm down and to kind of purge the pain/guilt feeling.

I told my cool mother in law, and she just gave some kind of quiet smile and that was all. I told a fellow dad at work about it and he did the same little smile and nod.

What the hell am I missing? Are these little acknowledgements or some other code that I'm not getting? That was a horrible dream.

[happythoughts 0]

"To have a child is to give a hostage to fate"

You worry about them at all times.

When they are 60 years old and you are 80, you will still worry.

[2fat2fly 0]

You just want to "freeze" your son at this age, where you can protect him as opposed to when you're gonna have to start letting go. It just means you're a good dad

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[wmw999 2,444]

Go give your baby a big hug. Then kiss his little head.

The only nightmares I've ever had (other than sickness-induced) had to do with my son. He's 23 now, and none of them have happened.

I could give you a quiet smile and nod at you
That whole parenthood thing is something else, isn't it?

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[mamajumps 0]

I have PTSD, I was diagnosed with it after my now 7 yr was hit by a car when he was 18M old. Its not so bad anymore but for 3-4 yrs after I would have very vivid nightmares about my kids and me not being able to get to them. The most reoccuring one was when we lived in a 2 story house and I would walk out the front door just as my daughter was falling out of her bedroom window. I would always get there a second too late. I would always have to go check on them to make sure they were ok. No one understood my dreams or how scary and real the were... Therapy finally helped me over come them.

[lawrocket 3]

Quote

Are these little acknowledgements or some other code that I'm not getting?

Looking ahead five years:

"And so I told twoply about this horrible dream I had where I left my son in the trunk of my car and I saw him all bright red and he couldn't even cry. And all Twoply did was nod and give a quiet smile."

See, sir, it is what we call a "knowing assent," Been there, done that.

It means you are normal. We parents have been there.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[popsjumper 2]

Wait'll he turns, oh say, about 13...here's what's going to happen:

1. He discovers girls
2. Hormones kick in
3. Peer pressure kicks in
4. Mom and Dad become tyrants


You'll actually be wanting to put him in the cart and leave him in the snow but when you wake up the next morning he'll be back.


edited to add emoticons for Pirana because he missed the humor of it all:

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[pirana 0]

I used to take people up on the "You just wait" comments. Drives me nuts that everybody who's kid gets pregnant at 15, or ends up in treatment, or steals from their family and friends, or gets 3 DUI's by the time their 20, or . . . . somehow think it will happen to everybody.

All kids do not get pregnant at 15, . . . and so on and so forth. I'm tired of everyone who raised little hellions, or outright criminals, sloughing it off as inevitable - and giving me that stupid grin and saying my time will come. BULLSHIT.

So nowadays I just turn and walk away when I hear that kind of BS, and make sure my kids do not associate with theirs.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[whatthehell 0]

Nothing can scare you worse than your own mind. The only nightmares that truely scare me are the ones of my loved ones in peril and I can not help. You are not alone with the spooky dreams.

[popsjumper 2]

Damn, dude...go back to bed and get up on the OTHER side this morning.


Did it muss your hair when that WHOOOSH went over your head?

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[popsjumper 2]

Just so you know...

When the wife turned up pregnant, my first thought was...Oh hell, God's going to pay us back.

See, I knew what I was like as a kid and I knew what she was like as a kid and I just knew Karma was going to bite us in the ass.

Well, it turned out quite differently than expected. Great kid from day 1.

- 3 days home and sleeping through the night.
- Rarely cried unless something was really wrong.
- Learned to walk before learning to crawl.
- Potty trained in 20 minutes.
- Avid reader
- Straight A student
- Trumpet in the band
- Star lineman on the football team.
- Power hitter in baseball.
- Class President
- Top-notch paintballer
- Excellent driver
- Same GF 3 years now
- College-bound

I could go on but I think you get the picture. He did have a short rough spot around age 16 but came through it all unscathed.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[pirana 0]

OK, I missed it as humor.

But that is because it pisses me off to hear those lines so much - from people that are serious. My eldest is only 2 1/2 years from 13, and I very strongly doubt she will then consider me a tyrant. I strongly doubt she will ever consider me a tyrant.

I know plenty of kids who skip the "I hate my parents phase" altogether. Imagine that!

I think if a kid says they hate their parents (other than a brief emotional outburst) - then the parents ought to do a little self-assessment.

OK, back to the fun, or else.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[airtwardo 7]

Quote

OK, I missed it as humor.

But that is because it pisses me off to hear those lines so much - from people that are serious. My eldest is only 2 1/2 years from 13, and I very strongly doubt she will then consider me a tyrant. I strongly doubt she will ever consider me a tyrant.

I know plenty of kids who skip the "I hate my parents phase" altogether. Imagine that!

I think if a kid says they hate their parents (other than a brief emotional outburst) - then the parents ought to do a little self-assessment.

OK, back to the fun, or else.

I agree, hard core dedicated parents that stay on top of what their kids are doing can often prevent those 'wait until' nightmares....and if it done right, won't be looked at as Tyrants.

By on the other hand....I never realized what a tough job it is!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[popsjumper 2]

We got off easy. My only nightmares were how much his college education was going to cost me...and a deathly fear of him choosing Auburn or 'Bama.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[airtwardo 7]

..and a deathly fear of him choosing Auburn or 'Bama.

Quote

Ya can always terminate parental rights!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[turtlespeed 220]

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun