Douva 0 #51 August 27, 2007 Quote Quote ...And clearly, not having a wife... Why am I not surprised at this... Why am I thinking you used "wife" as a euphemism for SO of any sort... Credibility... Go ahead...submit your reply about "I have had many SOs before...." Yeah, you got me there. And I'm betting it's because women really can't stand guys that care about more than sex. But I'm only twenty-seven. I still have time. If things go according to plan, I should get divorced in my early-to-mid fifties, go through a mid-life crisis, grow my hair out until it looks absurd for my age, and start skydiving again so that I'll have some people around who don't object to hanging out with me.I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 2,106 #52 August 27, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote PS I have had a long term partner without a break since January 1968 - how about you? Cite whatever you want, but I'd say sex is the EXCUSE not the reason for the divorce. in 68 I was 5, you old fucker Been with my wife since 1988 You can theorize all you want. FACT is that sex problems cause divorces. FACT is that sex is CITED as the reason not FACTUALLY the reason You are entitled to your opinion. Dozens of social science and psychology researchers are entitled to theirs. This is not exactly an unresearched topic.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyDekker 1,465 #53 August 27, 2007 QuoteWhen you were dating someone you really, really seriously like, how long have you waited to have sex? Has anyone actually waited to get married? Said you have to buy it to own it? I have always thought it was a thing where natural trust, love and instincts played out there role, or alcohol... but I am waiting this time at least for awhile. Does waiting make a girl seem more... valuable somehow in a man's mind? I know I'm getting uncharacteristically deep here, but I was just wondering. It seems the more I wait, the more serious he wants to get? I am not trying to play hard to get, just enjoying the process of this particular relationship and getting to know him more thoroughly than I usually do before it gets physical... To me this is the equivalent of playing games. When people start dating they should do what comes naturally for both of them. All these rules, and deliberate waiting just amount to playing games. I seriously doubt that the timing of sex has anyting to do with whether or not it turns into a meaningful relationship. Personally if I get the sense that my partner is deliberately holding off on having sex for no other reasons than to satisfy a rule, it is time to move on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #54 August 27, 2007 My husband and I had sex the second time we hung out. We have been together 3 years, have a 9 month old baby boy, and we got married June 1st. For me, there has never been some specific amount of time I've waited to have sex with someone. When it happens it happens. *shrug* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fast 0 #55 August 27, 2007 QuoteWhen it happens it happens. *shrug* Yep. Any kind of artificial condition that you are putting on it is a means of cheating the other person out of knowing who you really are. Just be you and do what comes to you. If the reason for holding out is to ensure that he cares more about you then that is cheating yourself. If you have to hold out on sex to get him to appreciate you, what kind of person is he really? That is the sad thing about the games that people play. Just be who you are and the other person will like you or not. If they don't, move on and find someone who does and really cares about you. There is some level of compromise that has to be made in any relationship, but I don't think it should come at the expense of hiding who you really are. I think that is a big reason so many people get married and later end up divorced. I am single, so maybe I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but I know thats how I feel.~D Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me. Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #56 August 27, 2007 I would have a problem with anyone that would use Sex for manipulative purposes. Of course many would argue that MOST women do this. I do not agree but understand the argument. Either you are attracted to the person and want to share yourself with them or you dont. Placing any other types of Restriction on yourself just seems like you are using sex as a tool to get what you want even what you "WANT" is a long term steady relationship. Nothing at all wrong with waiting if you dont feel ready.. But not just because you are just waiting for some self imposed restriction or timeline. I kind of think the opposite approach would be better. Sleep with them right away, If their attitude changes in any way immediately afterwards, You can get away with a lot less heartache. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #57 August 27, 2007 Devils Advocate: Some people (ie the "true believer" types) honestly believe that they should wait until after marriage for sexual relations. Their core values and beliefs restrict them from acting on such "carnal lust." Now occasionally there might be a lapse in judgment and he/she might fall prey to such sinful acts... but then on re-examination, there might be repentance and an attempt to hold off again. Two views to this inconsistancy 1. He/She is using sex to tease or manipulate. 2. He/She is wanting that intimate relationship, but due to the self imposed societal guilt is restricting those desires. The actual reason behind NOT having sex is as big of a question as the reason to have sex. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmanpilot 0 #58 August 28, 2007 QuoteDoes waiting make a girl seem more... valuable somehow in a man's mind? Frankly, no. In my experience, that sort of mythical value is self imposed, not necessarily self realised._________________________________________ -There's always free cheese in a mouse trap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #59 August 28, 2007 Not sure what this thread is about, but here's definitely one time you have to wait... Wait until she's between contractions. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #60 August 28, 2007 I think it has absolutely nothing to do with the SO but with the individual's personal beliefs/feelings. And those beliefs/feelings should be honored, and if they are not, I'd say that it says a lot about the SO and where that relationship is headed. And for scottjaco...I hope you're being sarcastic. Otherwise... **shaking head** If you think that sex is the only thing that a woman contributes to a relationship...I'm sure that the 900 numbers (and other "pay-per-use" individuals) will be willing to accomodate. If someone chooses to wait, my hat's off to them...if they choose to enjoy at some point in time in a relationship, again, my hat's off to them. Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #61 August 28, 2007 So much of it matters on the person. I've waited for months. I've not waited at all. I've initiated early and I've had it initiated on me. I've turned down and been turned down. My wife and I were amazed at how quickly we got carnal with each other. And there have been a couple of others that were long distance things where a visit resulted in sex within hours. In a sense we waited, and in a sense we didn't, My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
