Wuffo Wife on the DZ or Home watching American Idol?

[birdshit 0]

I spent half my time wondering how badly my wife would need electro shock therapy if I cratered in front of her eyes that I had a very hard time on my 1st few jumps. I mean, the whole "black death" part isn't so bad, it is more of an early return on a guaranteed investment, like a bond that magically matures after 6 years instead of the original 20. Yay! I win the "no insurance will cover me and now my kids will starve" lottery! It is the idea of my wife and son seeing me get sponged off the roof of my riggers (destroyed) car (I will know which car is yours so do a good job) that scares me 1000 times worse.

After all, I am a bulletproof hero to them. I am superman, spider man, the plumber, don juan, einstein, builder bob, and the best dad in the world to them... If you know what I mean, then you know.

Me breaking the unfortunate news to them that being alive is more like a fragile, delicate crystal than a hardened stone should never be my main concern on a jump. Awareness, EP's, Mals, watchfulness, technique, etc, should all be paramount, especially at my pathetically noobile stage in the game... I just need a good strong nipple ladies..

Is this irrational? I could go 160-180mph in front of my mom ding a wheelie wearing flip flops and sunglasses on my superbike but the idea of shattering the 'image' of me in the minds of those who are most vulnerable scares me. My mom knows I am a friggin dumbass and she would get over it. They don't. They assume that everything I do is in their best interest and that there is a 0% failure rate (for me personally at least).

Anybody ever had a problem where they couldn't deal with the thought of their loved ones seeing them pay the ultimate price for something they love so dearly? To the point where it messed with their head and they screwed a jump because they knew 'they' were watching? An 'they' were more interesting than altitude or canopy and 'they' were more worrisome than that big blue and green mud-hole planet giving them the terminal suck-job?

It does mess with me, and I wonder if any of you would rather have your relatives read about it in the more sanitary terms of the morning paper than actually seeing it happen and not having to imagine all the gory blank spots in the morning news?

Freud would have a field day and ask me why I have attachment issues and whether I really liked my moms breasts or something equally as crazy. Whatever, the point is that I have this feeling like I both DO (out of pride) and DONT (out of protective instinct) want my family to see me jump.

Do I just need another Corona?

Throw me a bone people.

It's a dark area we don't like to visit but for me this is a black hole in my mind that consumes my rationale to the point where I am dangerously sidetracked at the most inopportune times.

I would be 100 times easier to crack a window and tippy-toe out to a drop zone in the middle of the night and do a friggin night jump in freezing rain on 20 year old gear than have my wife and 4yo son with me during the warm sunny afternoon and having me trying to perform the "don't die in front of your family" trick instead of "skydiving"... If I go in on the shit gear in the rain in the middle of the night my last thought will be "well, you ARE a friggin dumbass, you know", but I would rest assurred that the family would never get past the yellow tape and they could just see "1 skydiver was XXX last night doing something stupid like jumping out of a plane or something. Duh!". More details at 11.

Performance anxiety? Cold-Pool Syndrome? Ball Shrinkage?

WTF? Do I need another shot of Rum or a fluffy little pink teddy bear to carry around and make me feel safe?

Am I the only one that wants my last meeting with the earth to be a private, intimate affair just between the two of us without a whole crap load of spectators like our family and children who will be forever traumatized watching me cry like a 6 year old girl the last 200 feet?

Maybe I am overly buzzed. We ran out of beer, so I dunno... Cant stop dreaming abut how horribly ugly, horribly sexy, dusty brown and square Eloy Arizona is from 13.5 agl.. And how cool the windtunnel and the surrounding area looks from 4500. Damn you Skydive AZ. Damn you all to hell. Burn in hell forever. And your dark blue cloudless skies. And your ass-smelling, nearly vertical climbing Super Otter too....

Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?

Love u all - bs

Give me your opinion, and I will ignore it as all Hot Shit AFF students with a printout of the USPA PDF Documents do. LOL!! Thanks!

And please save the bowling speeches for somebody that is stupid enough to spend this much cash on something they aren't absolutely in love with and willing to die for. Mmmmmkay?

[pinkfairy 0]

This is the BONFIRE, where we talk about other things than skydiving.

Yes. You need another corona.

Why not buy your instructor a corona too and have a talk?

And you need a life insurance policy that covers skydiving if you're planning to continue.

Edited to add:

Damn, you're making me want to go to Skydive Arizona too. Bad, bad. It would eat all my money!

Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet.

I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you?

[Misternatural 0]

Dude,
first give me a minute to stop laughing about your username,
birdshit...thats too funny,- I merely stole mine from a cartoonist.

Anyway among the part time psychologist here I can say that whatever medication you are taking you need to up the dose by about 3000mg since you are obviously ADHD and the current drinking and drug therapy is having little effect on your need to stay up late and chat with imaginary friends at DZ anonymous.com especially at this hour.

Have you tried fucking your wife more?
Recent studies have shown that increased fucking seems to counteract the effects of altitude psychosis and Carbon monoxide poisoning from jump plane rides.

Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

[birdshit 0]

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your need to stay up late and chat with imaginary friends at DZ anonymous.com especially at this hour.

Imaginary friends? Huh? I didn't know there was such a thing in skydiving. If I asked you for a pin check would you really look or just pat me on the back?

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Have you tried fucking your wife more?
Recent studies have shown that increased fucking seems to counteract the effects of altitude psychosis and Carbon monoxide poisoning from jump plane rides.

Great plan!! Man, you should work for the guys planning the whole Iraq 'thing'! Dude, it's perfect! Now that is a plan I can sink my teeth into! Or at least, you know, gently nuzzle... nevermind...

So anyways, where do you jump? LOL... I may buy you a beer for that one.

LOL! See yall in a while... I am going to bed...

[birdshit 0]

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Damn, you're making me want to go to Skydive Arizona too. Bad, bad. It would eat all my money!

Don't. It's just like heroin, only not so easy to quit....

[Misternatural 0]

Ahem,
um,please don't get me started about the war. (see speakers corner for details)
Because then I will have to start fucking your wife for therapy.

Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

[birdshit 0]

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Because then I will have to start fucking your wife for therapy.

Great, because there have been 8 new threads since you tried to tuck me in for 'night night' time. Just drink lots of corona and pinch her hard and she will never know the difference... hahaha

I will be reading about the Saber 2..

[Misternatural 0]

never mind that shit, um birdshit.
Snap out of it man!
it's Sunday morning and you have serious fucking to do.
make us all proud!



"Get off of my plane!" Harrison Ford

Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

[birdshit 0]

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never mind that shit, um birdshit.
Snap out of it man!
it's Sunday morning and you have serious fucking to do.
make us all proud!

Uhh I guess posting it on Skydivingmovies under "Landing and Swooping" went too far huh? Sorry! Deleting now...

http://www.skydivingmovies.com/ver2/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=21

[Squeak 17]

YOU TYPE TOO MUCH
If you "are" concerned about your wife and kids seeing you slamm in, or leaving you kid fatherless.
Just quit

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Trae 1]

you don't want to bounce in front of the wife and kids????? so only jump on windy days and you'll just be a dot disappearing in the distance.

Seriously though too much woofoness rubbing off and you'll be back to dreaming about skydiving.

and you kids'll think you're a real wimp

[JohnMitchell 16]

There's never been a safer time to be a student in our sport. It's when you get 50-60 jumps and figure you need to swoop that it starts getting dicey. If you learn as much as you can, practice your EPs, and really learn how to fly your canopy in all regimes, you can go a long way to mitigating the risks in our sport. With that said, you can still get killed jumping. You can also get killed hiking, biking, swimming, boating, horseback riding or sitting at a baseball game.

I do second the advice about the life insurance, though. Make sure it covers all your activities.

[Glitch 0]

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you don't want to bounce in front of the wife and kids?????

Personally, I'd rather bounce in front of my wife and kids than let them see me waste away from cancer or some other terminal illness. Been there... done that... I took care of my dad while he went from Superman to a frail sub-sub-100lb shadow of himself before the Lord decided it was time.

That's when I 'really' learned that it's better to live your life to its fullest now because you just don't know what tommorrow brings... My wife and kids know my feelings and I think they actually understand it too.

We were at the DZ yesterday, when my 7 yr old son saw the guy running manifest hobbling around on crutches. He asked me what happened to him and so I told him: He broke a couple of bones in his leg when he biffed a landing. My son looked at him again and said (I shit you not...) "At least he did it jumping!"

Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born...