your kids

[happythoughts 0]

(Oops! could a mod move this to Bonfire, thanks)

(Fathers Day with my son triggered some thoughts)

The biggest complaint that I here about divorce is that there are new people in your kids lives. Generally, they are people that you wouldn't let in your house. These people are living with your ex and raising your kids. Just some loser that spends the day laying around the house that your ex-spouse support is paying for.

Fortunately for me, my child is now older and living on his own. However, he did put up with the cult-life until his mother was tossed out for behavior unbecoming of a cultee. (This is, of course, one biased view of the whole deal)

People should think about how to counter the input of:
1- The person at the daycare.
2- The SO of your ex.
3- The "cool new school friends" of your child.

Talk about everything with them.
Easier now than later.

[squirrel 0]

or, not have children until you KNOW you are not going to get divorced.

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[Lindsey 0]

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or, not have children until you KNOW you are not going to get divorced.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Silly boy

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[ryoder 1,590]

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or, not have children until you KNOW you are not going to get divorced.

Good idea! Because at that point you will also know how the stock market will do, so you will be able to stay home and raise them properly, while making a very lucrative living with your online investments..

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[jtval 0]

That's exactly what I'm doing.


excpet I'm broke and have no kids.

My photos

My Videos

[wmw999 2,461]

I don't think you necessarily have to counter the input. Just give them the tools to deal with it themselves. Because you won't always be there.

Of course, the means to doing that is exactly the same . Talk with them. Help them think about situations BEFORE they've gotten into them.

And don't try to get them to say how grateful they are you made them do that . Even if they are, they won't say it. Would you, if someone here on dz.com (for instance) said it?

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[happythoughts 0]

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Help them think about situations BEFORE they've gotten into them.

I was fortunate to have the greatest collection of bad examples. I call them old schoolmates.

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Would you, if someone here on dz.com (for instance) said it?

I have found many wise people on here that agree with me on things.

[squirrel 0]

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or, not have children until you KNOW you are not going to get divorced.

Good idea! Because at that point you will also know how the stock market will do, so you will be able to stay home and raise them properly, while making a very lucrative living with your online investments..

oh, really. hmmm. my plan ( and reality ) is looking more like....five houses paid off for passive income, plus active income, wife, and possilble me to raise kids and not some paid for sub-parent....oh, and i will be 40...3 years ahead of when my parents had me....and they are STILL married and loving each other!

note: not everyone is a fuck up

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[turtlespeed 221]

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or, not have children until you KNOW you are not going to get divorced.

Good idea! Because at that point you will also know how the stock market will do, so you will be able to stay home and raise them properly, while making a very lucrative living with your online investments..

oh, really. hmmm. my plan ( and reality ) is looking more like....five houses paid off for passive income, plus active income, wife, and possilble me to raise kids and not some paid for sub-parent....oh, and i will be 40...3 years ahead of when my parents had me....and they are STILL married and loving each other!

note: not everyone is a fuck up

So now I'm a Fuck Up?

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[squirrel 0]

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Quote

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or, not have children until you KNOW you are not going to get divorced.

Good idea! Because at that point you will also know how the stock market will do, so you will be able to stay home and raise them properly, while making a very lucrative living with your online investments..

oh, really. hmmm. my plan ( and reality ) is looking more like....five houses paid off for passive income, plus active income, wife, and possilble me to raise kids and not some paid for sub-parent....oh, and i will be 40...3 years ahead of when my parents had me....and they are STILL married and loving each other!

note: not everyone is a fuck up

So now I'm a Fuck Up?

just saying that people can WAIT to have kids, and insure that they will BOTH be there to raise them, and not raise them in poverty, and working hard, getting ahead, and THEN having kids is NOT impossible, just very very very rare these days. but what the hell, the goverment can always cut a check for the care of the kids...yeah, i guess thats ok.

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[turtlespeed 221]

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So now I'm a Fuck Up?

just saying that people can WAIT to have kids, and insure that they will BOTH be there to raise them, and not raise them in poverty, and working hard, getting ahead, and THEN having kids is NOT impossible, just very very very rare these days. but what the hell, the goverment can always cut a check for the care of the kids...yeah, i guess thats ok.

So now - Being on welfare is fucking up too?












Sorry - Couldn't keep a strait face - I tried - I just couldn't do it.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[aprilcat 0]

....and insure that they will BOTH be there to raise them...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The only loophole here is the death of one of the parents. ~~April

Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo!

[squirrel 0]

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So now - Being on welfare is fucking up too?

they way alot of people use it....yes. and once you are on welfare...you essentially work for the government. they (the tax payers) should be able to stick a shovel in your hands and make you earn the check, like any other job. but hey, we are way getting off topic, not that it ever matters.

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[squirrel 0]

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....and insure that they will BOTH be there to raise them...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The only loophole here is the death of one of the parents. ~~April

yes, i know, very well my first wife had a terminal illness, (CF) and passed away...

We....chose not to have kids.

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[happythoughts 0]

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....and insure that they will BOTH be there to raise them...

Divorce is a separate issue. You don't divorce kids.

I understand (very well) that people use their kids as weapons in these fights. However, that is not the kids fault.

Even separated parents can remain parents.

[Lindsey 0]

just saying that people can WAIT to have kids, and insure that they will BOTH be there to raise them, and not raise them in poverty, and working hard, getting ahead, and THEN having kids is NOT impossible, just very very very rare these days. but what the hell, the goverment can always cut a check for the care of the kids...yeah, i guess thats ok.

I don't know that there has EVER been a time that people, for the most part, have waited until they were financially secure to have children. People have traditionally had children when they were young and poor and then earned whatever they would have in their later lives while the children were growing up. I'm honestly not seeing the problem with that.

Times are definitely changing in terms of longevity of marriages. I'm not sure it's all-in-all a bad thing. And divorced/separated parents CAN both be involved parents and rear their children well.

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail