Meth

[methsucks 0]

I am going through the most difficult thing I have ever gone through.

I have an ex girlfriend that is addicted to meth. She has a 3 yr old son.

We met last year and totally hit it off. Everything about her was perfect and her son is the best kid ever. We were perfect.

She grew up in oklahoma and her sister has been on Meth for a long time. She knew the dangers of it and we even discussed it numerous times.

I have done cocaine and extasy recreationally for 10 years. It has never been a huge problem..Alchohol is my vice but it is not a huge problem.

Anyway, when we met, I knew she hated drugs and I never discussed my use of them. There was a group of friends that I never took her around though. One day, it came up and I admitted to her about our once in a while extasy use. She wanted to ry it.

She also tried coke. When I saw her do it the first time, I was immediately worried. She would constantly beg me to get more....We still discussed the danger of Meth, which CANNOT be done recreationally and I have never tried it, mainly because I was fortunate enough to see the destruction before anyone offered it to me.

We broke up 7 mos ago. I did not see her but her behavior was odd. I immediately suspected meth. I saw her about 3 mos ago and she had lost 20 pounds and was down to 90lbs. I accused her of it then and she denied it. I kept in contact with her and would ask "So, you got scabs from picking yet?"

She finally told me that she had 'worms' in her skin and that it was Morgellons. She had also quit her job, left her son with her parents for the last 3 months and lived in a travel trailer. Everybody suspected drugs but she was convincing with the Morgellons story. I finally got her to come to my house a week ago. She looked horrible. Sickly skinny and sores all over her arms, belly, face and legs (all within reach)

I went to Oklahoma yesterday to go to her sons preschool graduation. She was supposed to pick me up Monday night but she never showed and I drove up there myself.

I have asked her 100 times to tell me the truth....There is still that element of doubt. This morning, after she was in the shower for 4 hours, I went trhough her purse.

I found the torch and the 'ice' . I gave it to her dad. We confronted her and it did not go well. She claims that she was stopping and only did it rarely.

The hardest thing I have ever had to do was look her Dad in the eye and tell him that I had something to do with this. Im not suicidal, but pretty damn close. Wrecking my life is one thing, destroying a mothers life is more gut wrenching than you can imagine.

I told him the whole truth, and they were very understanding.

I know, its not my fault.....but I played a part in it.

But there is a 3 yr old boy that I love dearly that will not have a Mom around for the next 90 days an perhaps not ever if rehab does not work. I cannot mentally handle that.

I am checking myself into Rehab next Monday. I have never been arrested, had a DUI, beat anyone up, missed a day of work.....easy to rationalize. I drink daily and alone, and too much.

Drugs have not destroyed my life, they have destroyed my soul. I hurt inside more than I could ever imagine.

[Conundrum 1]

Good for you for realizing you need help and getting it. Unfortunetly, it sounds like your ex doesn't think she has a problem, nor does she want help.

The fact of the matter is, you can't help someone who doesn't want help.

And one more thing: YOU didn't wreck anyone's life. You didn't force her to do drugs, she decided that on her own. Sure you introduced it to her, which is pretty bad, but she made her own choices.

[airtwardo 7]

The hardest thing I have ever had to do was look her Dad in the eye and tell him that I had something to do with this. Im not suicidal, but pretty damn close. Wrecking my life is one thing, destroying a mothers life is more gut wrenching than you can imagine.

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Step one realizing the problem.

Step two getting help.

You sould like you're on the way to recovering your life, stay the course, be strong and know that I for one, am pullin' for ya!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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[mnealtx 0]

Wow...

Good for you for taking responsibility for getting yourself turned around.

She made the decision to start taking drugs on her own, so don't beat yourself up TOO badly over it. Were you a contributing factor? Yes, and I'm proud that you took the responsibility to do the right thing... but you weren't the ONLY one responsible.

I wish you (and the ex) the VERY best of luck in getting clean and sober.

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[matt1215 0]

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I am checking myself into Rehab next Monday.

Best of luck to you, my friend!!

[methsucks 0]

The trouble with Meth is, it alters your brain. She is not mentally capable of knowing she has a big problem.

She was one of the best people and Mothers I have ever met.

She still does not know that she will either go to inpatient rehab, or lose her son. Her Parents are great but they will protect her son above all else.

[Conundrum 1]

How doesn't she know? Has nobody told her?

[turtlespeed 221]

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The trouble with Meth is, it alters your brain. She is not mentally capable of knowing she has a big problem.

She was one of the best people and Mothers I have ever met.

She still does not know that she will either go to inpatient rehab, or lose her son. Her Parents are great but they will protect her son above all else.

She will eventually.

The issue at hand is, Will she care?

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[airtwardo 7]

Quote

The trouble with Meth is, it alters your brain. She is not mentally capable of knowing she has a big problem.

She was one of the best people and Mothers I have ever met.

She still does not know that she will either go to inpatient rehab, or lose her son. Her Parents are great but they will protect her son above all else.

As it should be...the kids always have to take priority.


And trust me, I know all about meth and what it does to people, I lived in San Diego when it was the main point of distribution for a lot of the country back in the 80's.

I've seen quite a few lives destroyed...

As for you, get YOUR self clean and strong, you can't worry about anything else until you get YOU well 1st.

That has to be YOUR priority...

Don't think about it..do it..get in and get help NOW.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[methsucks 0]

Her parents arent going to tell her before it is time to go so she wont bolt.

She already 'doesnt care' about her son. And its all meth. We doted on that kid like you wouldnt believe. She hasnt called him or seen him for weeks at a time.

And she had the biggest heart of anyone I knew. You have no idea what a good person all around she was before this.

[VideoFly 0]

If you really love her you will practice TOUGH LOVE. It is incredibly hard to do. It means allowing her to either get help and stay straight or crash and burn on her own. The problem is that the more you try to help, even for her son’s sake, you will inevitably become an enabler. She needs professional help and so does her son. I’ve been through a similar situation and was left with my three children almost ten years ago. I tried and tried to help her and in turn, enabled her to become worse. She tore my family up and we still suffer the scars. However, we are a tight and wonderful family now. I found great help with support groups for the families of drug addicts. It is enlightening to hear of other people's situations and how they dealt with them. For the most part, tough love and separation seems to be a common solution. Also, as far as the child is concerned, it is not wrong to report the situation to social services. In this case, she is an adult making her own poor choices. On the other hand, her son is an innocent victim in harm's way. Take care of yourself and talk to others. You have done nothing wrong and there is nothing to be ashamed of. There are lots of us out here who have suffered as you have. Concerning skydiving, it has been my therapy. Blue skies.

[Conundrum 1]

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Her Parents are great but they will protect her son above all else.

Wait... what's the "but" for? They SHOULD be protecting the child. He has no choice in having a junkie for a mother.

[bozo 0]

I live about a mile from the cemetary where my older sister is buried. She was a meth addict.
Meth takes a normal intelligent person and turns them into the walking dead.
She had five kids. All she cared about in her life was the meth. Its a horrible insidious drug.
My sister was named Robyne. She was 48.

I hope you can save your friend. So many cant be.

bozo
Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars.

[VideoFly 0]

As far as her telling you that she is straight, don’t believe anything except for blood, urine, and hair follicle tests. Drug users lie with and without reason or many times even without being aware that they are lying.
Concerning your rehabilitation, you only need to not abuse one time…that being the next time. As long as you don’t take that one step, you have a chance. Stay in touch with a group. You will probably need help, but you can do it. After a while…a long while, making good choices gets easier. Eventually, you will be proud of those choices. And although others might laugh and try to influence you to make poor choices, there are many of us out here who are very proud of all people in recovery.

[Squeak 17]

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Her Parents are great but they will protect her son above all else.

Wait... what's the "but" for? They SHOULD be protecting the child. He has no choice in having a junkie for a mother.

You read too much into things, the but is for the recognition that they will probably have to sacrifice caring for their own daughter in order to look after her child. Thats a big but and very hard to do



To the OP, as was already stated, you can only look after yourself at the momment I have 16 years clean and i have leanred one thing if nothing else, no one could get me clean until i was ready people tried for years, I was fortunate enough to survive long enough to make my own realisation.
Hopefully she will too.

Got luck with it dude. and as the cliche goes
Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME, I still do 16 years later.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[peanut4040 0]

Women seem to be more acceptable to abuse with this drug. They need to be extra careful iIF they experiment with it.

Its a good day to LIVE, why puck up a good thing.

There is no reply in aad section for. " hell no i would not put an AAD on my back"

[methsucks 0]

THats what scares me. She called me on the way home and was mad that I exposed her use. She said she knows that she needs to stop but only when she is ready. Im aftraid she does not have time.

She also says she can quit on her own. Not a chance.

[digginit 0]

I'm glad you posted this. I'm also a single mom, and a few years ago I had a reunion with cocaine after about 15 years without it. When I stopped using back then, I kind of knew there was a problem, but it wasn't a BIG problem. Years later, though, the downward spiral was fast and intense when I started using again. Good for you for recognizing a problem now.

Quitting again in '04 (and since) has been a different struggle. The 12 steps didn't sit well with me, and I read and thought about different "programs" to help. In the end, I just made a decision to not use anymore. Friends who were supportive of my quitting were a huge help, but only because I really had the determination to stop and because they weren't the kind of friends to sugar coat things. There was no choice really, if I wanted to keep living without destroying everything I had worked for and keep my child. And I did want to do both of those things.

It still tugs at me, pretty strongly from time to time. So far, I've still been able to decide not to use every time. Somehow reason has won out so far. I hope it continues to do so in the future. Sometimes I really wonder how many times I can successfully make the same choice. Guess that only depends on me.

I don't think you can make another person quit, but I can hope for your friend's sake that she'll see the problem and have a desire to change her path. Good luck to you as you work through the coming days and months.

Thanks for this post.

[JoeyRamone 0]

I feel your pain my friend. I was a bad coke addict and a drunk for many years. I have been in and out of 12 step programs for 20 years. My last venture was the heroin highway for 3 years.

Drugs will take away everything you care about and more. I thank my God every day that I am clean and off the drugs.

It is not your fault that your lady friend tried coke or X or whatever she is a big girl. The one thing you need to do now is focus on you and you only.

Once you get some clean time under your belt you can then and only then start to clean up the damage from the past.

Here are a few links to some great sites and forums on addiction. I go by Freefly on these sites and I am the administrator on the coke one

I have also included a link to an article that was done on me last summer in USA Today. This was on addiction too. http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2006-07-19-addiction-family_x.htm [url] it kills me every time I read the story on me. I was one messed up person who needed help. Please let me know if I can do anything to help you or if you need a friend to talk to.

[url]http://www.opiatedetoxrecovery.com/
http://www.amphetaminedetoxrecovery.com/
http://www.cocainedetoxrecovery.com/
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2006-07-19-addiction-family_x.htm

Tim

Best of luck,

Tim

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

You are a great resource for anyone in this situation...and a role model of Hope
I hope that anyone who is struggling with addiction has the courage to contact you...you have a lot to offer.

_________________________________________

[sartre 0]

Quote

We broke up 7 mos ago. I did not see her but her behavior was odd. I immediately suspected meth. I saw her about 3 mos ago and she had lost 20 pounds and was down to 90lbs. I accused her of it then and she denied it. I kept in contact with her and would ask "So, you got scabs from picking yet?"

She finally told me that she had 'worms' in her skin and that it was Morgellons. She had also quit her job, left her son with her parents for the last 3 months and lived in a travel trailer. Everybody suspected drugs but she was convincing with the Morgellons story. I finally got her to come to my house a week ago. She looked horrible. Sickly skinny and sores all over her arms, belly, face and legs (all within reach)

I went to Oklahoma yesterday to go to her sons preschool graduation. She was supposed to pick me up Monday night but she never showed and I drove up there myself.

I have asked her 100 times to tell me the truth....There is still that element of doubt.

I would encourage anyone suspicious that a loved one is using to read this post over and over. It's so hard when you love someone to see clearly, and so easy to let yourself believe the lies. ANy of us on the outside of the situation would say, "Of course she's using!! It's so obvious!!" But it's so hard to face that when you're in the middle of it all.

Trust your gut people. Sometimes the truth is unbelievably hard to face, but if you suspect something's going on, you're probably right.

[JoeyRamone 0]

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You are a great resource for anyone in this situation...and a role model of Hope
I hope that anyone who is struggling with addiction has the courage to contact you...you have a lot to offer.

Thanks for the kind words my friend. More people need to talk about addiction(drug) and let others know the damage that will be done it is just a matter of time.

Tim

[LisaH 0]

I've been clean for 15 years from that horrible, horrible demon.

Hope everything works out just as well for the both of you!!
Edited to add: You can beat this, but only if it's what you want to do. Nobody can force you.

Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo

[Trae 1]

in reply to "I know, its not my fault.....but I played a part in it......I cannot mentally handle that. "

.............................

We are only responsible for our own behaviour not others.

You didn't invent meth.
You don't produce it consciously to ruin people's lives and damage our society.
You didn't encourage her to use it.

It could easily be argued that her drug addiction is NOT your problem. So being easier on yourself could be productive for you.

Friends of mine who thought they were just lightweight full-moon eccy heads were unaware that over time the pure E was being cut with heroin. After some time this group changed from being fun and happy to dark and needy.... and dangeroud and untrustworthy.

After the smack turned up, declining an offered E was enough to lose them as friends.
More recently the 'ecstacy' doing the rounds has been a concoction of ketamine, speed, and whatever the naughty nurses could steal from the medicine cabinet.

I tried to help my friends but they hated me for it.
personally i'm glad i didn't hang around to see them start to shoot the shit up and fall further down the pit. I had my say at the time and feel no guilt because they didn't listen.

I wish you peace of mind and clarity of thought .

[KathleenL 0]

Wow, just posting here that and telling your story is a huge leap in the right direction. You have identified that you need help. Right now you only need to take responsiblity for you. Everyone else is right that your girlfriend is responsible for herself.

This works for me in alot of situations.

1. Live each day in the now. Make the most of each moment of that day. Be happy for the great things that are happening right now. (Like you are getting help.)

2. Only try to change the things that You have control over like yourself. It is a futile battle for you to try to change your girlfriend only she can do that.

Those two things sound really simple but it is some times hard to do.

All the best to you.
kathleen