Life in the Australian Army

[lilDevil 2]

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
(For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)



Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick
smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping
in now, cuz all yagotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed
to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. Youdon't get fed again until noon and by
that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody
possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before
the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself
against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the
Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet,but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Sheila

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" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[airtwardo 7]

Okay......................THAT was funny!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Viking 0]

LOLOL love the ending

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin

[virgin-burner 1]

that one was good fun!

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Squeak 17]

See to me that not Funny, cuase its true some of the Sheilas we have here can friggin bull wrestle

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[ExAFO 0]

WTF is a "Stone" with regard to weight?

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[CornishChris 5]

It's what we Brit's & Aussies use - old imperial measurement.

1 stone = 14 pounds

1 kilo = 2.2 pounds.

CJP

Gods don't kill people. People with Gods kill people

[virgin-burner 1]

i used to have an australian GF, dont tell me about it.. uuuh, good times that were!!

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[popsjumper 2]

Hmmmpf...I got $5 on Amazon.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[bazelos 0]

So she's good at shooting, fighting and milking, I wonder what else you can do with her

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

[lilDevil 2]

Quote

See to me that not Funny, cuase its true some of the Sheilas we have here can friggin bull wrestle

And dont you forget it lmao

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" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[Erroll 80]

Quote

Quote

See to me that not Funny, cuase its true some of the Sheilas we have here can friggin bull wrestle

And dont you forget it lmao

But then some of them are scared of a teeny weeny little needle....

[2fat2fly 0]

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried