Amyfiske 0 #51 February 28, 2007 How do you get a leper out of a hot tub? With a ladle. What do you call a leper in a hot tub? Stew Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #52 February 28, 2007 How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer 1) None. Feminists can't change anything. Answer 2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help. Answer 3) THATS NOT FUNNY!!!! Answer 4) None. It's not the lightbulb that needs changing. A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up. Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #53 February 28, 2007 QuoteI can't stand racist and anti woman jokes. It's just anti funny! Are man jokes funny? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #54 February 28, 2007 What's the difference between a free flyers head and a bowling ball? A bowling ball doesn't get all mushy by the 7th frame. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #55 February 28, 2007 A leper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor. The leper looked hurt and said, "Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them." The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed, "I'm sorry as hell man, but it wasn't you. That guy sitting next to you keeps dipping his crackers in your neck."This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jarrodh 0 #56 February 28, 2007 FORUM RULES No jokes about or references to pedophilia. None.2 BITS....4 BITS....6 BITS....A DOLLAR!....ALL FOR THE GATORS....STAND UP AND HOLLER!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #57 February 28, 2007 A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality. "I know a great trial lawyer," the fellow said, "but he's expensive and doesn't know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer," he continued, "who's not a great trial lawyer, but he's cheap and really knows how to pick a jury." The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began his testimony. "I saw Jed mount his goat from behind," he said, "and when he was finished, I saw the goat turn around and lick Jed's pecker." The accused farmer was devastated and had all but given up hope of acquittal when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to him, "You know, a good goat will do that." *********************** A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks "How will I recognize him?" That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment". So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"? So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella upagain, and shows him the ears. "Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"? The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I see her twat"? Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrath that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TypicalFish 0 #58 February 28, 2007 CAREFUL, I already got chastised for this sort of thing. edited to remove quoted reference to pedophilia."I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fonz 0 #59 February 28, 2007 The difference being??? Alphons (sorry, just picking nits here) edited to remove quoted reference to pedophilia.And five hundred entirely naked women dropped out of the sky on parachutes. -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #60 February 28, 2007 What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin ya ain't told her already!This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
white_falcon 0 #61 February 28, 2007 Quote A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks "How will I recognize him?" That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment". So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"? So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella upagain, and shows him the ears. "Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"? The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I see her twat"? Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrath that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"? AND WE HAVE A WINNER!! I read this entire thread and thats by the funniest joke here. im ROFLMFAO Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
za_skydiver 0 #62 February 28, 2007 What is red and sits in a corner? A. A baby with a razorblade. What is green and sits in a corner? A. Same baby 2 weeks later. Yes, yes, i know.Some dream of flying, i live the dream... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #63 February 28, 2007 * What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume! * What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome. * How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more. * How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it's head. * What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GravityJunky 0 #64 February 28, 2007 Oh you are going to hell! The Forum Rules: No personal attacks. edited to remove PA*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too! *Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge *Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie} Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
funks 1 #65 February 28, 2007 QuoteOh you are going to hell! Where's the punchline? edited to remove quoted PA Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #66 February 28, 2007 QuoteOh you are going to hell! edited to remove quoted PA Here's a few more.... * What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung. * What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Fucked. * How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor. * What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crotalus01 0 #67 February 28, 2007 What is the definition of a woman? Life support system for a pussy. Why was the blonde girl's navel sore? Her boyfriend was blonde too. As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
georgerussia 0 #68 February 28, 2007 A kid with no legs asks his mommy: - Mommy, could I get some sweets? - Sure, honey. Help yourself. - But mommy, how can I help myself, I have no legs. - No legs - no sweets!* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
georgerussia 0 #69 February 28, 2007 A feminist comes to a bookstore and asks the salesman: - Do you have books describing why women are smarter than men? - Sure! Science Fiction is in section three.* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GravityJunky 0 #70 February 28, 2007 The only pussy, you'll see for a while!*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too! *Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge *Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie} Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #71 March 1, 2007 what do you call a room full of women with PMS & yeast infections? a whine and cheese party. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #72 March 1, 2007 Here's my ALL TIME FAVORITE!!!: .... (This post was edited by LouDiamond on Feb 27, 2007, 4:54 PM)~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #73 March 1, 2007 Quote Here's my ALL TIME FAVORITE!!!: .... Yeah - but it was ALOT funnier when it the little editor was RemsterI'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #74 March 1, 2007 QuoteYeah - but it was ALOT funnier when it the little editor was Remster Yeah Remster can kiss my You know, he wouldn't even have the (This post was edited by Remster on Feb 27, 2007, 5:20 PM)~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IanHarrop 41 #75 March 1, 2007 QuoteQuoteYeah - but it was ALOT funnier when it the little editor was Remster Yeah Remster can kiss my You know, he wouldn't even have the (This post was edited by Remster on Feb 27, 2007, 5:20 PM) FAKE! The Remster isn't clicky - you could have linked to his profile and done a better job of trying to fool us "Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
