ACMESkydiver 0 #76 March 1, 2007 QuoteFAKE! Wha? ME?? Naaaaaaaaaaaah. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #77 March 1, 2007 Wow - quick one, he is.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IanHarrop 41 #78 March 1, 2007 QuoteWow - quick one, he is. Not QUICK at all - I believe it was Grocho Marx who said "I'm not as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was""Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grubber 0 #79 March 1, 2007 What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes...whack! Shit! A skydiver goes...Shiiiiiiit!!! Whack! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gjhdiver 0 #80 March 1, 2007 The Forum Rules: No jokes about or references to pedophilia. None Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gontleman 0 #81 March 1, 2007 Why did Jesus cross the road? He was nailed to the chicken. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pinkfairy 0 #82 March 1, 2007 QuoteQuoteI can't stand racist and anti woman jokes. It's just anti funny! Are man jokes funny? What do you call the useless piece of skin attached to the end of a penis? A man! I know this ruins my credibility, but I couldn't help myself. Oh, thanks, Unformed, for your tastelessness. Great stuff, keep it coming!Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet. I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
homesickanvil83 0 #83 March 1, 2007 what is small and can't turn round in a corridor? a baby with a javelin through it's neck. what's the most horrible thing in the world? stuffing 12 raw oysters inside your elderly granny's fanny and sucking out 13. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #84 March 1, 2007 Jesus is on the cross and there's a crowd. He's calling to John, and John is fighting his way through the crowd. Jesus continues to call to John, while John battles the crowd. Finally, John reaches Jesus and asks him what it is he can do for his lord. Jesus says: "John, I think I can see your house from here!" can I get an upgrade on my trip to hell please? Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
doug925 0 #85 March 1, 2007 homesick, that is just uhgggg... fucking nasty! I'm about to puke right now....I have never developed indigestion from eating my words. Winston Churchill Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skydave103 0 #86 March 1, 2007 If you question someone's sexual orientation just say..... He's not gay, he just likes the taste of cum!! Normally gets a few guys to dry heave and the women to salivate. LifeshouldNOTbeajourneytothegravewithawellpreservedbody,buttskidinsideways,cigarinone hand,martiniintheother,bodythoroughlyused upandscreaming:"WOO HOO!! What a ride!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BGill 0 #87 March 1, 2007 How do you unload a truckload of dead babies? Pitchfork Why do you unload a truckload of dead babies with a pitchfork? To find out which ones are still alive. How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby. Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? To see the expression on it's face. man i used to know so many of these. let me see if i can remember any more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #88 March 1, 2007 Quote Jesus is on the cross and there's a crowd. He's calling to John, and John is fighting his way through the crowd. Jesus continues to call to John, while John battles the crowd. Finally, John reaches Jesus and asks him what it is he can do for his lord. Jesus says: "John, I think I can see your house from here!" can I get an upgrade on my trip to hell please? Also heard~ Hey buddy, mind crossing yer legs, we're about outta nails! & What's HE bitchin' about.....at least he doesn't have to walk back to town! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #89 March 1, 2007 So Frank, Benjamin and Rastus all die in a war and show up at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells them, "Man, you guys are violent killers and I can't let you in." They argue the point. St Peter finally says, "OK. I can't let you in but for $50 I can put you back on Earth alive and well." Frank is back on Earth and his buddies gather 'round and ask about the others. He says, "When I left, Benjamin had him down to $49.95 and Rastus was looking for a co-signer."My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fallinbear 0 #90 March 1, 2007 QuoteWhat's better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarted. Hell here I come. BAD...I don't want to make all the decisions because if I screw up, then I can't blame it on you... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #91 March 1, 2007 Frank, Benjamin and Rastus... Quote WAY to P.C. there pops! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FIREFLYR 0 #92 March 1, 2007 Quote * How do you make a dead baby float? ROOTBEER! ~J"One flew East,and one flew West..............one flew over the cuckoo's nest" "There's absolutely no excuse for the way I'm about to act" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GravityJunky 0 #93 March 1, 2007 QuoteIf you question someone's sexual orientation just say..... He's not gay, he just likes the taste of cum!! Normally gets a few guys to dry heave and the women to salivate. He isn't gay, but his boyfriend is!*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too! *Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge *Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie} Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites PsychoBob 0 #94 March 1, 2007 What do lesbians do while they're menstruating? Finger paint! "I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it" RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites gonzalesna 0 #95 March 1, 2007 What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? "Well, I'll see ya next month."Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lawrocket 3 #96 March 1, 2007 What was real First Commandment? "Adam. Take out the trash." An Indian man dies and and arrives at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asks what his business is. The man says, "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter yells out, "Jesus. Did you call for a cab?" JFK, Jr. was on the radio. And the control yoke and... What is eight inches long and white? Nothing. What do you call 300 white men following a black man? The PGA Tour. What has 50 balls and screws old ladies? Bingo. Pinochio was receiving complaints from his girlfriend about consummating their passions. "Every time we make love", she said, "I get splinters!" So he went back to his maker, Geppeto, the carpenter, to ask for help. "Sandpaper, my boy, that's what you need!" was the Geppeto's response. A couple of weeks later the Geppeto asked Pinochio, "How are you getting on with the girls now?" "Women!" said Pinochio, "Who needs women?" What do you have if you’re holding two fuzzy green balls in the palm of your hand? Kermit's undivided attention. What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea. What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "See you next month." Why does the Navy have Marines on their ships? Because sheep are too obvious. How did Captain Hook die? He had jock itch. What's the square root of 69? 8 something... What is 6.9? Same thing interrupted by a period. Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids? as your mom. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites caspar 0 #97 March 1, 2007 Quote Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? To see the expression on it's face. i told my friend that joke [he has a very twisted sense of humor], he changed the punch line straight away and made it that little bit worse. "so it can see the look on your face when you come." my all time favorite joke: whats the similarity between a prawn and a woman? their heads are full of shit but the pinks bits taste good. i know some pretty horrific racist jokes, but dont know if i should post them or not."When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites waltappel 1 #98 March 2, 2007 Quotei know some pretty horrific racist jokes, but dont know if i should post them or not. Ok, as the official racist here (or at least some people think so), I'll get the ball rolling. Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A: Quarterback Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 20 black guys? A: Coach Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 2000 black guys? A: Warden Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 black guys? A: Fucked! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites PsychoBob 0 #99 March 2, 2007 What's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? Getting her out of the wheelchair!"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it" RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites PsychoBob 0 #100 March 2, 2007 What does an Alabama girl yell while she's having sex? Ease up Dad, you're crush'n my cigarettes! ________________________ Georgia girl comes home and tells her Dad she getting married and wants him to buy her a wedding dress. He thinks about it and says "I'll buy you a wedding dress if you give me a blowjob". She agrees and starts blowing him. After a minute or two she tells him "Dad, you dick taste like shit!" He replies "Yeah, your brother wanted a new car"."I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it" RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 Next Page 4 of 5 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
FIREFLYR 0 #92 March 1, 2007 Quote * How do you make a dead baby float? ROOTBEER! ~J"One flew East,and one flew West..............one flew over the cuckoo's nest" "There's absolutely no excuse for the way I'm about to act" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GravityJunky 0 #93 March 1, 2007 QuoteIf you question someone's sexual orientation just say..... He's not gay, he just likes the taste of cum!! Normally gets a few guys to dry heave and the women to salivate. He isn't gay, but his boyfriend is!*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too! *Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge *Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie} Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PsychoBob 0 #94 March 1, 2007 What do lesbians do while they're menstruating? Finger paint! "I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it" RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 0 #95 March 1, 2007 What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? "Well, I'll see ya next month."Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #96 March 1, 2007 What was real First Commandment? "Adam. Take out the trash." An Indian man dies and and arrives at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asks what his business is. The man says, "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter yells out, "Jesus. Did you call for a cab?" JFK, Jr. was on the radio. And the control yoke and... What is eight inches long and white? Nothing. What do you call 300 white men following a black man? The PGA Tour. What has 50 balls and screws old ladies? Bingo. Pinochio was receiving complaints from his girlfriend about consummating their passions. "Every time we make love", she said, "I get splinters!" So he went back to his maker, Geppeto, the carpenter, to ask for help. "Sandpaper, my boy, that's what you need!" was the Geppeto's response. A couple of weeks later the Geppeto asked Pinochio, "How are you getting on with the girls now?" "Women!" said Pinochio, "Who needs women?" What do you have if you’re holding two fuzzy green balls in the palm of your hand? Kermit's undivided attention. What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea. What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "See you next month." Why does the Navy have Marines on their ships? Because sheep are too obvious. How did Captain Hook die? He had jock itch. What's the square root of 69? 8 something... What is 6.9? Same thing interrupted by a period. Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids? as your mom. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caspar 0 #97 March 1, 2007 Quote Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? To see the expression on it's face. i told my friend that joke [he has a very twisted sense of humor], he changed the punch line straight away and made it that little bit worse. "so it can see the look on your face when you come." my all time favorite joke: whats the similarity between a prawn and a woman? their heads are full of shit but the pinks bits taste good. i know some pretty horrific racist jokes, but dont know if i should post them or not."When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #98 March 2, 2007 Quotei know some pretty horrific racist jokes, but dont know if i should post them or not. Ok, as the official racist here (or at least some people think so), I'll get the ball rolling. Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A: Quarterback Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 20 black guys? A: Coach Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 2000 black guys? A: Warden Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 black guys? A: Fucked! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PsychoBob 0 #99 March 2, 2007 What's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? Getting her out of the wheelchair!"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it" RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PsychoBob 0 #100 March 2, 2007 What does an Alabama girl yell while she's having sex? Ease up Dad, you're crush'n my cigarettes! ________________________ Georgia girl comes home and tells her Dad she getting married and wants him to buy her a wedding dress. He thinks about it and says "I'll buy you a wedding dress if you give me a blowjob". She agrees and starts blowing him. After a minute or two she tells him "Dad, you dick taste like shit!" He replies "Yeah, your brother wanted a new car"."I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it" RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
