the bad, "Yes, I know I'm going to hell" joke thread

[NWFlyer 2]

Redneck girl is consummating her marriage on her wedding night. She says to her new husband "Please be gentle, darling. This is my first time."

Her husband sputters and yells and leaves the room. She runs after him and says "Honey, what's wrong?"

He says "I can't believe I agreed to marry you. If you ain't good enough for your daddy and your brother, you ain't good enough for me."

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[PsychoBob 0]

"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it"
RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?"

[waltappel 1]

Q: How can a (insert name of southern state or some ethnic group here) woman tell when her daughter has a yeast infection?

A: Her son's dick tastes like yogurt.

See you in hell.

Walt

[1969912 0]

Q:If you drop a Mexican and a white boy off the roof of a building at the same time, which one will hit the ground first?

A: The white boy, because the Mexican will stop to spray paint something on the wall on the way down.

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[turtlespeed 220]

Quote

homesick, that is just uhgggg... fucking nasty!
I'm about to puke right now....

Funny, I can't imagine doing that - so I'm not really all that sick.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[SansSuit 1]

What is the difference between (Insert skanky female's name)'s pussy and a bowling ball ??


If you had to, you could eat the bowling ball.



You are going to use this. You know you will.

Peace,
-Dawson.
http://www.SansSuit.com
The Society for the Advancement of Naked Skydiving

[lawrocket 3]

Doreen was about to get married to Jim Bob. Strangely enough, Doreen was still a virgin at the age of 25, having resisted the attempts by her family to deflower her. Before the wedding, Doreen's momma had a chat with Doreen: "Now, I want you to know, Jim Bob's family is a bunch of perverts. They's all the same. Now, I know you is naive about these things, but tonight, when you two consummamm, consummama, when you two do it, don't let him roll you over."

That night, they began to consummate their marriage. Doreen had heard it would be uncomfortable, but not like this, and hoped he would take it easy. After a few minutes, Jim Bob said, "Doreen. Why don't you roll over?" Doreen said, "Jim Bob! NO! My momma warned me about you and said you'd do that to try something improper. I'm a nice girl."

And Jim Bob said, "But Doreen, wouldn't you like to try to make a baby?"

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[TrophyHusband 0]

god goes to the garden of eden and asks adam where eve is.

"she's swimming in the river" adam says

god replies, "damn, now i'll never get the smell out of those fish."

"Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama
www.kjandmegan.com

[GravityJunky 0]

Kentucky : A teenaged girl, interrupts her dad watching the game on TV, and asks, "Paw, can I borrow the car, all my friends is meeting & hanging out the mall tonight, and I wanna go?"
The father replies, "If you wants ta borrows the car' you has ta blow me."
The daughter says; "that's disgusting, paw, I'll stay home! And You can just... fuck yourself! As she storms outta the room.
After about 10 minutes has passed, and several of her friends have called, telling her what a great time they are having... she finally caves and goes back to agree to the blow job in exchange for the privilege of using the car.
" okay, paw fine you win, give me the car & i'll give you a BJ!"
Father says "Blow me first, then you get the car."
with this she drops to her knees, unzips his fly and starts going down on him. Seconds later, she comes back up gagging...
"Ewh, paw, your dick tastes like shit!"
Paw replies... "Oh yea I forgot I already loaned the car to your brother for the night"

*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}

[gonzalesna 0]

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...

The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."

"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"

"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.