the bad, "Yes, I know I'm going to hell" joke thread

[shermanator 4]

ok, so a catholic priest.. oh wait, never mind.

let me try again...

Michael Jackson. .. shooot! can't say that one either.

CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08
CSA #720

[turtlespeed 220]

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ok, so a catholic priest.. oh wait, never mind.

let me try again...

Michael Jackson. .. shooot! can't say that one either.

Visual Joke . . .

Whay do women like Jesus so much?



Because he's HUNG LIKE THIS!!!

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[shermanator 4]

oh turtle, you ARE going to hell!

CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08
CSA #720

[GravityJunky 0]

Turtle's already on the Ballot to take over office down there! If he can beat me in the polls!

*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}

[unformed 0]

A lady approaches her priest one day and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots that only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. Then, your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "This may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she noticed his two male parrots inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots inside the cage with them.

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put those damn beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

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[PLFKING 4]

Q. How many dz.commers does it take to read and understand the Forum rules ?

A. Unknown. Scott is still editing.


Don

"When in doubt I whip it out,
I got me a rock-and-roll band.
It's a free-for-all."

[yardhippie 0]

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Headed to hell with Hippie.

Let's go brother! Im stealing a car for the ride!

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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Q. How many dz.commers does it take to read and understand the Forum rules ?

A. Unknown. Scott is still editing.


Don

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[skymick 0]

Q. What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection?

A. A quarter-pounder with cheese

[nubain1 0]

The last time I posted a bad joke I was pretty much shunned from from here. I have some good ones about the camps but most people found them
too offensive,disregarding the fact that I had family in the camps during the war. I am still shunned to this day. If you want a thread killed let me reply to it.

[Gene03 0]

Now, now.I had an uncle that died in a German concentration camp. Ya he got got drunk and fell out of his watch tower.

Rimshot.

“The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec quotes (Polish writer, poet and satirist 1906-1966)

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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Now, now.I had an uncle that died in a German concentration camp. Ya he got got drunk and fell out of his watch tower.

Rimshot.

D'OH!!!

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[TypicalFish 0]

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I'm sorry but I cannot see the humour in that. It is both disturbing and repulsive that you do.

Oh, for the love of God, note the thread title.

Edit to add: Typically, this joke involves a hooker, the forum rules duly noted. My mistake.

"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET

[doug925 0]

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Q. What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection?

A. A quarter-pounder with cheese

Yeah, well...

Q. why don't you eat pussy in the first thing in the morning?

A. you ever pried apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
Winston Churchill

[TypicalFish 0]

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Yeah, well...

Q. why don't you eat pussy in the first thing in the morning?

A. you ever pried apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

That... Is... Just... FOUL.

"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET

[Gene03 0]

The irony of it is the first time I heard this joke it was from a person of the Jewish faith.

“The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec quotes (Polish writer, poet and satirist 1906-1966)

[FreeflyChile 0]

why do women bear children?

because it hurts and they deserve it!

[gonzalesna 0]

Q: how many babies does it take to paint a wall?

A: depends on how hard you throw em.

Edited because i mighta been crossin the line... PM for the joke initially posted...

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[okalb 104]

What do you do when an epileptic falls in your pool?

Throw in your laundry

That joke won me the honor of being told I was going to hell by none other than Johnny Gates himself!

Time flies like an arrow....fruit flies like a banana

[TypicalFish 0]

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion?

Nobody cries when you cut up a hooker...

"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET

[iluvtofly 0]

What's better then winning the special olympics?


Not being retarted.



Hell here I come.

[Buried 0]

Q:what do you call a person who is bored at work and searches for jokes and info on anal bleaching?




A: unformed

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[pinkfairy 0]

Aaaargh!

I can't stand racist and anti woman jokes.

It's just anti funny!



Oh, sorry, this belongs in the rants thread.

It is actually possible to be tasteless without that.

Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet.

I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you?

[fonz 0]

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I can't stand racist and anti woman jokes.

It's just anti funny!

I'm afraid I disagree. There are only two kinds of jokes: good ones (in good taste, too) and bad ones. Regardless of what the subject is.

Alphons (and since this thread was about "bad" jokes...)

And five hundred entirely naked women dropped out of the sky on parachutes.
-- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

[unformed 0]

Okay, here's a tasteless one that's not racist or anti-woman.:

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?"
Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning."
So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed.
The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again."
So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see."
To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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