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normiss

Needed a laugh

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Sometimes You've Gotta Love Drunk People......

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a
loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning! He slams the
door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it's 3 o' clock in the morning and it is pouring out
there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife "Can't you
remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped
us?

I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of
yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the
pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes" comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.

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Quote

Sometimes You've Gotta Love Drunk People......

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a
loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning! He slams the
door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it's 3 o' clock in the morning and it is pouring out
there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife "Can't you
remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped
us?

I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of
yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the
pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes" comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.


:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

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A sailer sidles up to a real live Pirate hanging out at the bar and strikes up a conversation. Curious, the sailor inquires about the Pirate's features...
How'd you get a peg leg?
Aaargh! Me lost me leg when me fell into a pool of sharks, Aaargh!
The Pirate locks his right hook around the handle and bottom of his wooden mug and downs his beer in one pirate gulp.
How'd you lose your hand?
Me Jolly Roger! On the high seas, a raiding party,
had me hand sliced off with a sword. But the owner of that sword lies at the bottom of King Neptune's pond! Aaargh!
How'd you lose your eye?
Me eye! Aye! I lost me eye when a seagull shit in my eye!
So seagull poop took out your eye?
No! It was my first day with the hook!

You're always the starter in your own life!

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