The Most Badboy Swoop Ever

[EGOmike 0]

No shit there I was just hanging out on the Goodyear Blimp and there were these hairless dwarfs there, I couldn't tell if they once had hair and it was waxed or shaved or if they never had hair, they were the "little people" style not the disproportionate midget style. I was thinking, I wonder if anybody has ever skydived out of this thing. I looked over and Clay Bonavito's rig was just lying on the floor. I was like I don't have permission to use his rig but he's not here and I am and I don't have my rig so I better just take his rig and jump discretely out the back window of the Goodyear Blimp. I'll probably never get the chance like this again so I put on his rig and out the back I went.

The crossfire2 89 (the purple and white one) opened nicely. I saw the cool landing area at the top of this really long hill. There was this really cool European middle ages looking castle on one side if the hilltop. I thought ‘hey I’m swoop past that castle, down the hill, then land at the bottom. That will be neat’. So I busted a 270, (no I didn't check my blind spot for traffic DEATH FROM ABOVE). It was really smooth, a little rear riser input to plane out, WHOOOOOSH - swooped past the castle, down the hill, I kept going so I thought ‘well I'll just ride this hill a little like a blade course’. I drug my foot through the grass, just the tops of the blades of grass with the seeds on it, the kind that make that ticking tickly vibration on your shoe. When I got to the bottom of the hill, about a half mile or so of beautiful Technicolor green grass - Kentucky bluegrass probably I don't know for sure I couldn't really slow down to check. There was a street that dead-ended into the grass exactly on my heading with one of those 3 ft high concrete highway dividers. I taped the toggles a bit and popped up over the divider. I thought ‘cool’ I'll just bleed off my remaining speed and run it out down this street.

The street was Caesar Chavez blvd in San Francisco, however, I had too much speed to land yet. The canopy was still flying and I was coming up on traffic (cars and trucks). I got in the left lane and passed their slow asses but then there was oncoming traffic so I did some lane splitting. At this point I had traveled about 8-10 blocks or so and the lights were all green and I thought ‘that’s weird I never get that many green lights in the city’. The next light turned red, cross traffic was going through the intersection across Caesar Chavez. I was like ‘uh-oo, this isn't good’. I buried the toggles to my crouch, popped up over the traffic lights and cars, then continued on down the street with my swoop.

But of course, there was a cop who saw me run the light so he started chasing me. So I was like ‘shit I gotta keep my speed up or he'll get me’. Then there were all these cop cars trying to catch me, but I was going too fast for them. I ended up on that road that runs the same direction as 101 but is under the elevated section of 101, I was flying under the over head roadway and I saw some good sliding gravel off to the side of the road so I slid out my swoop for a hundred or so feet and stopped. I grabbed up the canopy, jumped behind the concrete construction lane divider, and hid from the cops.

Ficus, Marcel, Jason and Beth pulled up right next to me in my 1980 something Nissan truck that I owned 10 years ago and were like “WOOOHOOOO THAT WAS AWESOME YOU GOTTA DO IT AGAIN” so then Ficus handed me my rig and said “come on go do it again”. Marcel went to work packing Clay's rig and I woke up and was like ‘whoa, that was a weird fucking dream.’

EGO Mike

[guppie01 0]

WOW Mike, that's really difficult to read!

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[chaoskitty 0]

I'll have what you're having.

[McBeth 0]

Paragraphs please

[chaoskitty 0]

I'd settle for more than one full stop.

[turtlespeed 221]

Quote

I'd settle for more than one full stop.

It was a California Stop.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[EGOmike 0]

I know it's hard to read but I did put a period at the end at least

[McBeth 0]

Quote

I know it's hard to read but I did put a period at the end at least

I'm trying to fix it, but this is a difficult one

[SpiritFingers 0]

Dude... lay off the drugs. j/k

[turtlespeed 221]

Quote

Dude... lay off the drugs. j/k

Shhhhh - don't f- up his wah wah.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[McBeth 0]

Quote

Quote

Dude... lay off the drugs. j/k

Shhhhh - don't f- up his wah wah.

Wah wah what!

I wonder if we can wah wah in LP.

[SpiritFingers 0]

Quote

Quote

Dude... lay off the drugs. j/k

Shhhhh - don't f- up his wah wah.

what the f- is a wah wah..? and trust me he can f- it up all by himself. he doesnt need my help.

[livendive 8]

Quote

Quote

Dude... lay off the drugs. j/k

Shhhhh - don't f- up his wah wah.

I only saw mention of one cop, not a veteran and a rookie.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Nickkk 0]

punctuation?

What do you do when someone throws a big planet at you?
Throw your pilot chute in defense!

[Deuce 1]

Punctuation is for people who don't have meth.

There's iambic pentameter, and then there's the early 21st century tweaker style of writing. This is a great example of the latter.

[TheStepchild 0]

Quote

I only saw mention of one cop, not a veteran and a rookie.

Blues,
Dave

Don't worry. I'll protect you.

Why can't pirates and cowboys co-exist in perfect harmony?

[McBeth 0]

Awww you editted it
Oh and I'm in it... that's cool

Editted to add: I did manage to read it before the edit.

[ficus 0]

A-

A+ before edit

[McBeth 0]

Look at who came out to play

[hookitt 1]

Quote

I know it's hard to read but I did put a period at the end at least

I just read it in the tone of voice you'd tell it in, in real life. Reading it was easy. I just had to step back a little

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[McBeth 0]

Quote

Quote

I know it's hard to read but I did put a period at the end at least

I just read it in the tone of voice you'd tell it in, in real life. Reading it was easy. I just had to step back a little

Well now I'm reading in your voice interpreting his voice... this is confusing

[guppie01 0]

Quote

Quote

Quote

I know it's hard to read but I did put a period at the end at least

I just read it in the tone of voice you'd tell it in, in real life. Reading it was easy. I just had to step back a little

Well now I'm reading in your voice interpreting his voice... this is confusing

Doesn't matter what Hookit writes, the only thing I hear when he posts is "you have have such nice strong hugs!"

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[diablopilot 2]

D000000D1111

U have that same dream 2?

----------------------------------------------
You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.

[jacketsdb23 49]

Classic. Its even funnier trying to go back like Tim said and read it in your tone of voice.

Wish I read the un-edited version.

Losers make excuses, Winners make it happen
God is Good
Beer is Great
Swoopers are crazy.

[jdobleman 0]

I "heard" this all in Mike's voice. Of course many of us have heard his voice, a lot. Good recall, I saw the street, but I thought you were heading west, untll the end.

madjohn

Main goals in life: Be on the "Jumpers Over Eighty" (JOE) World Record and attend the Lost Prairie Boogie once after I'm gone.