Top 14 things NOT to say to cop that pulls you over

[GravityJunky 0]

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged
in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good
job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son.....Your eyes look red, have you
been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes
look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}

[porpoishead 8]

13. I bet you been waiting for me all day, well I got here as fast as I could.

if you want a friend feed any animal
Perry Farrell

[GravityJunky 0]

Good one thanks!

14. Where am I going in such a hurry?.... on my way to see your wife, you are only working til midnight right?

*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}

[Stumpy 284]

I'm sorry Drinkstable, i haen't had a c**t all night!

Never try to eat more than you can lift

[DickMcMahon 0]

When I was driving back to Idaho after working a Kairos
Prison Ministry weekend at the Colorado State Pen with
a friend, I was pulled over by a patrolman for speeding
and jokingly told him, "We just escaped from prison".

Don't ever do that!

_________________________
Dick’s stuff Click Here

Is it still considered a naked skydive
if you’re wearing a helmet?

[GravityJunky 0]

Oooppps, jot that one down all!

*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}

[HillerMyLife 0]

"You drink, you drive, you spill...see??"

Someday Never Comes

[GravityJunky 0]

Hey, bi-otch... if your life hadn't been a complete failure, what did you plan on being, when you grew up...MeterMaid!

*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}

[lilDevil 2]

Ive been told ( by a cop ) the biggest insult to a traffic cop in Australia is to call him a Jellyback, only to be used after they have given you the ticket lol

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" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[jm951 0]

15. Bad cop!! No doughnuts for you!!

[CSpenceFLY 1]

Cop says,"Didn't you see that stop sign."

I said,"I saw the sign,it was you I didn't see."


Cop says,"Do you know how long it took me to catch up to you?"

I said,"You should see how long it would take if I saw you coming."

Me and a friend had stopped behind a building in town to take a piss.A cop rolls up and says,"Boys,I can see your wanger from the road.Thtas going to cost you $35."

I said,"Damn,I think if you can see my wanger from the road you should give me $35."


Last but not least.Got pulled over once going to the race in Atlanta.The cop pulls two of us over at once.The other guy was DUI at 9am on Sunday morning.When the cop gets done putting him in the car he comes to me and says,"Well Mr.Spence I hope you have not been drinking this morning."

I say,"It's a bit early for me,you might want to try to catch me on the way home."

[lekstrom10k 0]

A friend left a New Years Party a few years ago around 10:00AM. He plowed into a patrol car from behind at a traffic light. He was startled by the tap on the window by the officers club. He rolled down the window and said "Boy it didnt take you guys long to get here". Hope it qualifies for #16.

PS the guys from Skydive Wayne County{ Richmond IN. told me one "Ask the cop how many Donuts he can fit on his gear shift lever" It seems to get you out of a warning ticket to a shiny pair of bracelets with that cute little chain that joins them so they dont get lost like mittens.

[simplyputsi 0]

When asked for license reply,

Who the fuck do you think you are?



and when you get asked "Do you know why I pulled you over?" reply

Cause you're a dick.

Skymama's #2 stalker -

[masterrig 1]

Officer: "Do you know, how fast you were going?"

Driver: "Yeah! Do you?"


Chuck

[airtwardo 7]

During a lengthy traffic stop in Ca. once, the female CHP officer walks back to my car saying sterning...

"You lied to me!"



Sorry, I told her...force of habit, you're a WOMAN!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[turtlespeed 226]

Quote

Officer: "Do you know, how fast you were going?"

Driver: "Yeah! Do you?"


Chuck

or,

. .. . Yeah and you're lucky I slowed down or you'd have never caught me.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[masterrig 1]

Owww...


Chuck

[masterrig 1]

Precisely!


Chuck

[ExAFO 0]

"Would you like to touch my monkey?"

"Your story has become tiresome."

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[Airgump 1]

pulling up to the inspection station going into cali from AZ, the cop asks if i had any fresh fruits or veggies...................told him........no sir, i figured that the state had plenty of 'em without me bringing any along with me.......
thought for a minute he was going to shoot me on the spot

[bloody_trauma 2]

i've always wanted to do this, when tapped on the window... reach out and tap him on the forehead to see if hes real

Fly it like you stole it

[airtwardo 7]

Quote

pulling up to the inspection station going into cali from AZ, the cop asks if i had any fresh fruits or veggies...................told him........no sir, i figured that the state had plenty of 'em without me bringing any along with me.......
thought for a minute he was going to shoot me on the spot

I was riding with a buddy back from Tijuana once, at the border crossing the cop asks if we have any guns, bombs or drugs...my buddy answers...why, what you ya need???


WRONG ANSWER!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Airgump 1]

was working in knoxville, tn a few years ago when the local PD was using their "retired" cop cars for decoys on certain stretches of the interstate.

it didn't take the locals long to pick up on this tactic and in the spirit of helping unknowingly fellow drivers to pick out these decoys....they would affix a doughnut box to the hood of the cars.

kinda funny driving down the road going from "oh shit! i'm going to get a ticket" to laughing like a madman at the "marked" car.

[Scoop 0]

I've heard most of them already. I would have personally just laughed it off as I reached for my ticket book, as opposed to giving verbal advice.

Honestly if you did even 1 shift you'd be sick of how many people say the same stupid shit. You can't even walk down the road without people saying stuff like "oh, it was me, arrest me officer" (from fat ugly jobless whorebag), "have you come to take her away!?" (man 'jokes' pointing at wife, "i like a man in uniform" (another fat ugly whorebag). The thing is, they all think they are original and funny, they must realise you hear it all day, every day. Its like when your washing your car and someone says "you can do mine after that". You laugh at them politely then when they walk off you call them a cunt under your breath.

People who come out with witty retorts, no mater how nice they are, immediately fail the attitude test. Its just too annoying

[michalm21 2]

Donut you said?