What's the most idiotic comment you've heard from a whuffo?

[flygirl1 0]

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I have no problem with the dumb/idiotic comments or questions, and I've heard quite a few. Some people are genuinely interested but have no idea how it all works. Questions like that I am happy to answer, even if they seem ridiculously dumb.

I do have issues with the mean spirited ones- like whuffos who comment that someone deserved to die or get hurt because they were dumb enough to skydive.

I totally agree. When someone asks the question "what do you do if your chute doesn't open?" I'll explain my emergency procedures and tell them about my gear ect.. and when they ask "what do you do if your reserve doesn't open?" I'll tell them all the things I would try. Now if after that they still pry and say "what do you do then?" I get annoyed because I assume they just want to hear me say "I would die" to confirm that I actually know how "stupid" and or "crazy" I am, not that they are really interested in skydiving or concerned about my safety. I know how dangerous skydiving can be and I don't mind telling people, I just don't like when people use it to try and prove My insanity(there are other things they can use to prove that)

Fly like a girl

[nathaniel 0]

w1: What are the different altitudes you can jump from?

---

w1: hey asshole!
w1: what?
w2: no, you're doing it wrong, you have to say count off at the end

My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Lebowski?

[gonzalesna 0]

I hear, "Why the hell would you jump out of a perfectly good airplane???" quite a bit.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[SBS 0]

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I hear, "Why the hell would you jump out of a perfectly good airplane???" quite a bit.

You've heard that too??? I thought that every single person I had ever met was the only one to say that. I thought every one of them came up with it themselves...

God I hate that one...

_____________
I'm not conceited...I'm just realistic about my awesomeness...

[freeflysteve 0]

Was asked that,perfectly good plane question, by a pilot(6000 plus hours) told him it was cos i saw him land!
His pilot friends thought that was pretty funny.

Swooping, huh? I love that stuff ... all the flashing lights and wailing sirens ... it's very exciting!

[bazelos 0]

It was a joke, but it left me a bit "meh", a friend of mine asked me "dude, if something goes wrong and you die, you won't mind me dating your girl, right?".

I should have told him she has a thing for dead people

Anyway, I am not the most experienced person here, but I can answer most questions, all of them are genuine too.

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

[pinkfairy 0]

I get:

"why do you jump out of a perfectly good airplane?"

From a golfer.

And He's asked several times, and I give answers such as "I like it!" or "The door was open".

Next time I'll just ask: "Why do you make 18 holes in a perfectly good landing area?"

That will shut him up. Maybe...

Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet.

I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you?

[jakee 1,489]

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It was a joke, but it left me a bit "meh", a friend of mine asked me "dude, if something goes wrong and you die, you won't mind me dating your girl, right?".

Now thats a guy who gets the skydiver mentality!

I don't get bothered by the people who ask a stupid question in the first place, like going up after opening and everything falling at the same rate. What gets me is the people who, after you very clearly explain how perspective can trick you or how air resistance works to balance the forces at terminal (and how thats not the same as initial accelleration under gravity) just blindly repeat "But I know everything falls at the same speed" and just will not understand reality!

Do you want to have an ideagasm?

[skydivegirl 0]

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I think Skydivgirl has a good one.

And correct me Samantha if I do not get it right.

We were jumping in Destin, FL onto the beach, and after she landed a wuffo walked up to her and said:

"did you just jump on the beach?"

Samantha: yes

How did you get here, did you just get drug behind the plane?

LMAO! Yea... he asked me how I got there and I told him that we took off from the Destin airport. Then he said "You mean they towed you to the beach from the Destin airport?"

He must have thought I was a parasailer who got detached. I told him that I had to run really fast behind the plane as it took off.

Pink Mafia Sis #26

[fonz 0]

In my opinion, most of the notorious whuffo questions are actually valid questions. They may seem silly to us, but I can understand that whuffos wonder about such things.

One tactic could be to completely hide your skydiverhood. This means not wearing skydiver-related clothing, jewellery (sorry Pammi) or tattoos, never mentioning skydiving and not responding to overheard skydiving-related discussions when Terminal Velocity/Drop Zone/Cutaway/Point Break/etc. has again been shown by some TV station. This should largely decrease the number of "stupid whuffo questions" you have to deal with.

Since I have a skydiving tattoo and many people know that I skydive, that won't work for me. Besides, I don't mind answering whuffo questions. The tactic that I found to work best for me is to have well-phrased answers ready for the most common whuffo questions. When people ask such questions seriously, I take them serious and give them a serious answer. If I then find out that they're not seriously interested but merely fishing for sensation or trying to "prove" that I'm an idiot because I skydive, I'm usually quite quick to terminate the discussion and avoid the topic the next time I meet this person.

I'm a real pub crawler and my experience is that skydiving more often leads to amusing/interesting/entertaining/animated bar discussions than to annoying ordeals. In fact, on several accounts one of the people I talk with turns out to be or have been a skydiver as well. Discussions then get even more interesting because we often turn out to know the same other skydivers, have been at the same dropzones or an oldtimer is interested in what the modern gear and practice is like.

Alphons

And five hundred entirely naked women dropped out of the sky on parachutes.
-- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

[fallinbear 0]

lol...they never fail to come up with good ones!

here's one:

The power at the manifest hangar went out one day and this girl looks straight at her tandem master...in a very concerned voice she asks "If the power is out, how is the parachute going to open???"

I about shite my pants trying to hold the laughter until I could get away from her. Never did ask the TM what his response was and I didn't stick around long enough to see if he slapped her...

I don't want to make all the decisions because if I screw up, then I can't blame it on you...

[gonzalesna 0]

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I get:

"why do you jump out of a perfectly good airplane?"

From a golfer.

And He's asked several times, and I give answers such as "I like it!" or "The door was open".

Next time I'll just ask: "Why do you make 18 holes in a perfectly good landing area?"

That will shut him up. Maybe...

ya, my dad is the one that repeatedly asks that question. I always reply with something different. Last time, my reason was this... Clicky!!!

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[DTOXX 0]

OK, the original joke (from a comedian on the radio) is this: "Jewish people must me be better drivers because you never see stars of David next to the road." Which I think is just too F'in funny.

So... One day at the dropzone I am watching some tandems land and the women next to me ask, "What are all those flags for?", as she pointed to the landing area. I asked if she had ever seen crosses on the side of the road and she said she had. I then stated, "Well, we use flags!". The look on her face was priceless.

I then had some fast talking to do as her daughter was one of the tandems.

-------
D.T. Holder
SIMstudy

[gonzalesna 0]

I'll tell my buddies that after they get done with their tandems.

(Sunshine, yes, it does include my female friend between which we have no significant story . Just thought you'd like to know.)

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[DJL 235]

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The power at the manifest hangar went out one day and this girl looks straight at her tandem master...in a very concerned voice she asks "If the power is out, how is the parachute going to open???"

Sometimes I'm reminded that taken as a whole we're really only on the evolutionary cusp of being intelligent beings.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[Danger 0]

The best one i've had was asked by a ... blonde. Go figure.

The question ... When you jump, do you land on the ground?

My answer ... Nope, land on a cloud and climb down the ladder.

Danger

[sioux 0]

A girl I know was watching me pack and asked if my pilot chute was my reserve...

I haven't seen such convoluted lines of conversation and such expert chronicling thereof since my days of all day bong marathons in college. ~ Lindercles

[ladyflyer77 0]

Oh oh, I have a couple of good ones!

1) We had a student just put onto self supervise and we are about to leave the Porter when he asked, " Do you want me to close the door on my way out since I'm the last one to leave?" One of the guys jumping with the group before said, "sure as we are leaving the plane we all looked up and got it on vid of him trying to close the door on his way leaving the plane.

2) The same guy - the winds were steady at 13mph and gusting to 20mph with a 90 degree crosswind on the runway. So non of the jumpers were jumping. He turns around and ask, "Why are we not jumping?" We told him that the winds were to high and unsafe. He then said, "but we pro-packed our rigs so we should be okay. Come on lets get a load together." We just looked at him and said if you can get a load together then you can jump. Needless to say, he never got a load up.

If I stand on my tip toes, I can see the weekend from here!

[Andy_Copland 0]

No shit there i was, new at work and i was warned about this guy and his bullshit, i didnt think anyone could be this bad but here goes:

Yea i know the guy that invented the flying suit, broke his legs just up the road trying to land it

Since then i've learned he has flown choppers and regularly says "Yea i'd do it but i dont have the money, id be too good and enjoy it too much and i have a mortgage to pay"

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[piisfish 140]

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A girl I know was watching me pack and asked if my pilot chute was my reserve...

Hi there,

if it was in your side of Switz it might be "not THAT wrong" as it's called a "Hilfsschirm"

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[za_skydiver 0]

I landed out at a school on the cricket field. As i pick up my parachute this kid on the pavilion asked me "Are you a skydiver?"...

The other one i get a lot:

Whuffo: "What if your parachute don't work?"
Me : "I use my reserve. It's a second parachute"
Whuffo: "What if your reserve don't work?"
Me : "Walk towards the light."

Some dream of flying, i live the dream...

[labrys 0]

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Me : "Walk towards the light."

Someone else posted something similar in a thread a while back only it was a TM who's student had asked the same question. His answer was, to paraphrase: "Walk towrds the light. Don't follow me, I'll be going the other direction"

Owned by Remi #?

[happythoughts 0]

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What gets me is the people who, after you very clearly explain how perspective can trick you or how air resistance works to balance the forces at terminal (and how thats not the same as initial accelleration under gravity) just blindly repeat "But I know everything falls at the same speed"

A person with an unopened parachute and a person wearing an opened parachute weigh the same.
Ask them why they don't fall at the same rate.

Watch their tiny head explode.

[Fallin4U 0]

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When I was eavesdropping on a conversation about the "little computer" on my back - the guy couldn't believe that I would bother with my pilot chute if the computer would do it for me.

Trust the 'little computer'... yeah. Being a computer product tester I don't trust a computer to even do my taxes.

[jakee 1,489]

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What gets me is the people who, after you very clearly explain how perspective can trick you or how air resistance works to balance the forces at terminal (and how thats not the same as initial accelleration under gravity) just blindly repeat "But I know everything falls at the same speed"

A person with an unopened parachute and a person wearing an opened parachute weigh the same.
Ask them why they don't fall at the same rate.

Watch their tiny head explode.

Honestly, that doesn't even bother them

You just get "Oh, but thats a totally different scenario"

Me: "Why is it different"

Them: "Because its totally different, he's got an open parachute with drag and shit"

Me: "Moron!!!"

You can see why I never considered being a teacher

Do you want to have an ideagasm?