aloneinthesky 0 #1 January 20, 2007 im finding it hard to pick a life path. i started skydiving back in june, now unfortunatley its all i wanna do. i've never been good at school, so i dont see a point to signing up. in fact i'm having trouble being motivated to live, if you will. its too much effort and not rewarding enough. i constantly find myself angry and sad. i dont have any real friends, people are friendly but i never get calls on my cell phone from people i know asking me i wanna go to a party, or go do something. my life lacks structure. im unmotivated to do simple things. i find i only have a smile on my face when im at the dropzone, the people at manifest are warm and friendly, other then that im just excited to skydive. no one will really jump with me, i guess im just a "kook". im 19 years old and i have a drug addiction, skydiving. i'd like to work at a dropzone, somewhere warm, and i'd like to be a sky bum if you will.. anyways. im very unmotivated to live at this point. i didnt bring myself into the world, but the thought of taking myself out of it always scrolls my mind.. so i ask you, what keeps you going... is it just skydiving? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladydyver 0 #2 January 20, 2007 I hate to say this, but I am kind of a blunt person..... You sound depressed. The lack of motivation and the thoughts of taking yourself out are key points. You need to get some medical help. Sometimes depression is situational and sometimes there are chemical imbalances - point is there is help out there .... you just need to access it. As for your addiction...I think you will find that most of us suffer from the same kind of problemThe things that keep me going. I am one who works in a profession where I am exposed to the idea that life is too short - so if I have a dream or want to do something....I find a way to make it happen. I have also been blessed with a man in my life who treats me with great kindness and respect - even loves me despite my quirks - and believe me....I have quite a fewDPH # 2 "I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~ I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 235 #3 January 20, 2007 If you wish to be loved, then love. - Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #4 January 20, 2007 If you think life sucks, you should try death. No wait....I mean.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
countzero 7 #5 January 20, 2007 Quote i dont have any real friends, people are friendly but i never get calls on my cell phone from people i know asking me i wanna go to a party, or go do something. ? why don't you be the one calling people to go do something? i don't recall who said it but i once heard "the best way to have friends is to be one". ask people to jump with you. instead of waiting for them to ask you.diamonds are a dawgs best friend Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ifall 0 #6 January 20, 2007 I agree 100% with what ladydyver said so I won't say it again. Fill in your profile, let people see where you're jumping or just post it here and I'm sure you will find people willing to jump with you and hang out/talk to you that have the same interests and problems. You'd be surprised, there are a lot of people out there in the same situation you are in. Professional help would be good to seek out as well. Hell, if you just want someone to talk about things to, my PMs are on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Richards 0 #7 January 20, 2007 I think Ladydyver hit the nail right on the head. You sound like you have depression, and should look for professional help, particularly since you are having thoughts of suicide. It is no different than seeking medical help for any other condition. I would advise you not to use a discussion forum as a place to seek help for something so gravely serious. While there are some that will give good advice or at least give advice with good intent, you might get a lot of bad advice, silly one liners and even a few mean spirited shots. Regards, Richards My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinthesky 0 #8 January 20, 2007 QuoteQuotewhy don't you be the one calling people to go do something? i don't recall who said it but i once heard "the best way to have friends is to be one". ask people to jump with you. instead of waiting for them to ask you. i spent my entire high school career trying to "fit in" every friday i would call all the people i had accumulated in my phone book, the same people who said they wanted to hang out. id try to find the parties, id try to find the kick-backs and sometimes i would find them, but no one wanted me there. i just wanted people to want me to be there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ladydyver 0 #9 January 20, 2007 QuoteQuoteQuotewhy don't you be the one calling people to go do something? i don't recall who said it but i once heard "the best way to have friends is to be one". ask people to jump with you. instead of waiting for them to ask you. i spent my entire high school career trying to "fit in" every friday i would call all the people i had accumulated in my phone book, the same people who said they wanted to hang out. id try to find the parties, id try to find the kick-backs and sometimes i would find them, but no one wanted me there. i just wanted people to want me to be there. As you get older you will see how rough and tumble highschool can be ....right now you just got done so you don't recognize it for several years. If people can't like you for who you are or accept you for who you are tha that is there problem. You shouldn't have to mold yourself into something that you are not just to make people like you. You will find that true friendship doesn't require you to change into something that you are not. In the end...you have to like yourself for anybody else to. The nice thing about jumping is that it gives you a lot of personal freedom to be who you are. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat....still think you need to see a doc about the depression issue, but you have to be the one to want to change the situation and then follow through and take the action to do so. Keep hangin in - DPH # 2 "I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~ I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites aloneinthesky 0 #10 January 20, 2007 well i appreciate the help, the sad reality is i cannot skydive if im dead... so i guess the plan is to keep on keeping on..i lost a friend recently www.tonyismissing.com and i think he was feeling the same way i was. i admit i need medical help and the doctor isnt back till monday, my mom, yes my mommy, suggested i see this doctor and get medical help, but in my heart of hearts i dont wanna put a drug in my body that alters my mood. but then again ill try anything twice. i appreciate all of your support, im all mushy inside and its settling to know that people who i dont even know are extending there hearts to a "random". thanks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ladydyver 0 #11 January 20, 2007 Quotewell i appreciate the help, the sad reality is i cannot skydive if im dead... so i guess the plan is to keep on keeping on..i lost a friend recently www.tonyismissing.com and i think he was feeling the same way i was. i admit i need medical help and the doctor isnt back till monday, my mom, yes my mommy, suggested i see this doctor and get medical help, but in my heart of hearts i dont wanna put a drug in my body that alters my mood. but then again ill try anything twice. i appreciate all of your support, im all mushy inside and its settling to know that people who i dont even know are extending there hearts to a "random". thanks. It sucks to feel the way that you do...been there/done that! - but it won't always be like that, sometimes people just need a little help and a nudge in the right direction. Help doesn't necessarily mean medication as therapy. Sometimes the situation settles and things mellow and you find that you really are happy with how life is going. When you are lost it is difficult to find that brightness in the day. At least jumping gives you something to look forward to. It really is a great sport full of great people.DPH # 2 "I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~ I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites IanHarrop 42 #12 January 20, 2007 I can relate to how you feel. I've been struggling with depression for over two years. Skydiving is the bright spot in my life, but its cold in Canada these days and there's no jumping in Alberta during the winter. I don't have much to offer you other than to say that if you can make it through today that there is always a chance that tomorrow will be better. Life seems pretty hopeless to me most of the time but this is the one hope that never changes. Tomorrow might be better. No matter how black today is and how bleak the future seems, tomorrow might be better. This, and how badly my son would be impacted if I left this earth before my time, keeps me here."Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Douva 0 #13 January 20, 2007 You are not unique.I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0 Go To Topic Listing
ladydyver 0 #9 January 20, 2007 QuoteQuoteQuotewhy don't you be the one calling people to go do something? i don't recall who said it but i once heard "the best way to have friends is to be one". ask people to jump with you. instead of waiting for them to ask you. i spent my entire high school career trying to "fit in" every friday i would call all the people i had accumulated in my phone book, the same people who said they wanted to hang out. id try to find the parties, id try to find the kick-backs and sometimes i would find them, but no one wanted me there. i just wanted people to want me to be there. As you get older you will see how rough and tumble highschool can be ....right now you just got done so you don't recognize it for several years. If people can't like you for who you are or accept you for who you are tha that is there problem. You shouldn't have to mold yourself into something that you are not just to make people like you. You will find that true friendship doesn't require you to change into something that you are not. In the end...you have to like yourself for anybody else to. The nice thing about jumping is that it gives you a lot of personal freedom to be who you are. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat....still think you need to see a doc about the depression issue, but you have to be the one to want to change the situation and then follow through and take the action to do so. Keep hangin in - DPH # 2 "I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~ I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites aloneinthesky 0 #10 January 20, 2007 well i appreciate the help, the sad reality is i cannot skydive if im dead... so i guess the plan is to keep on keeping on..i lost a friend recently www.tonyismissing.com and i think he was feeling the same way i was. i admit i need medical help and the doctor isnt back till monday, my mom, yes my mommy, suggested i see this doctor and get medical help, but in my heart of hearts i dont wanna put a drug in my body that alters my mood. but then again ill try anything twice. i appreciate all of your support, im all mushy inside and its settling to know that people who i dont even know are extending there hearts to a "random". thanks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ladydyver 0 #11 January 20, 2007 Quotewell i appreciate the help, the sad reality is i cannot skydive if im dead... so i guess the plan is to keep on keeping on..i lost a friend recently www.tonyismissing.com and i think he was feeling the same way i was. i admit i need medical help and the doctor isnt back till monday, my mom, yes my mommy, suggested i see this doctor and get medical help, but in my heart of hearts i dont wanna put a drug in my body that alters my mood. but then again ill try anything twice. i appreciate all of your support, im all mushy inside and its settling to know that people who i dont even know are extending there hearts to a "random". thanks. It sucks to feel the way that you do...been there/done that! - but it won't always be like that, sometimes people just need a little help and a nudge in the right direction. Help doesn't necessarily mean medication as therapy. Sometimes the situation settles and things mellow and you find that you really are happy with how life is going. When you are lost it is difficult to find that brightness in the day. At least jumping gives you something to look forward to. It really is a great sport full of great people.DPH # 2 "I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~ I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites IanHarrop 42 #12 January 20, 2007 I can relate to how you feel. I've been struggling with depression for over two years. Skydiving is the bright spot in my life, but its cold in Canada these days and there's no jumping in Alberta during the winter. I don't have much to offer you other than to say that if you can make it through today that there is always a chance that tomorrow will be better. Life seems pretty hopeless to me most of the time but this is the one hope that never changes. Tomorrow might be better. No matter how black today is and how bleak the future seems, tomorrow might be better. This, and how badly my son would be impacted if I left this earth before my time, keeps me here."Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Douva 0 #13 January 20, 2007 You are not unique.I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
aloneinthesky 0 #10 January 20, 2007 well i appreciate the help, the sad reality is i cannot skydive if im dead... so i guess the plan is to keep on keeping on..i lost a friend recently www.tonyismissing.com and i think he was feeling the same way i was. i admit i need medical help and the doctor isnt back till monday, my mom, yes my mommy, suggested i see this doctor and get medical help, but in my heart of hearts i dont wanna put a drug in my body that alters my mood. but then again ill try anything twice. i appreciate all of your support, im all mushy inside and its settling to know that people who i dont even know are extending there hearts to a "random". thanks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladydyver 0 #11 January 20, 2007 Quotewell i appreciate the help, the sad reality is i cannot skydive if im dead... so i guess the plan is to keep on keeping on..i lost a friend recently www.tonyismissing.com and i think he was feeling the same way i was. i admit i need medical help and the doctor isnt back till monday, my mom, yes my mommy, suggested i see this doctor and get medical help, but in my heart of hearts i dont wanna put a drug in my body that alters my mood. but then again ill try anything twice. i appreciate all of your support, im all mushy inside and its settling to know that people who i dont even know are extending there hearts to a "random". thanks. It sucks to feel the way that you do...been there/done that! - but it won't always be like that, sometimes people just need a little help and a nudge in the right direction. Help doesn't necessarily mean medication as therapy. Sometimes the situation settles and things mellow and you find that you really are happy with how life is going. When you are lost it is difficult to find that brightness in the day. At least jumping gives you something to look forward to. It really is a great sport full of great people.DPH # 2 "I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~ I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IanHarrop 42 #12 January 20, 2007 I can relate to how you feel. I've been struggling with depression for over two years. Skydiving is the bright spot in my life, but its cold in Canada these days and there's no jumping in Alberta during the winter. I don't have much to offer you other than to say that if you can make it through today that there is always a chance that tomorrow will be better. Life seems pretty hopeless to me most of the time but this is the one hope that never changes. Tomorrow might be better. No matter how black today is and how bleak the future seems, tomorrow might be better. This, and how badly my son would be impacted if I left this earth before my time, keeps me here."Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Douva 0 #13 January 20, 2007 You are not unique.I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
