Icon134 0 #1 September 4, 2006 I give up... I went to a party this evening with a bunch of non skydiving "friends" of mine... and I really felt out of place since everyone there either was in a long term relationship or was married... and frankly it took what had been a really awesome day and topped it with a rotten cherry... (like all moldy and puss filled... just gross you know what I mean...) So I've decided to say to hell with this nice guy shit and I'm turning over a new leaf as an asshole... the problem is that I'm not very good at being an asshole... I don't think I'm a pushover... (although the fact that my friend christine took most(ok all) of my afternoon/evening last night when I really should have been getting some work done makes me wonder... but I liked the company for a change and well... she is my friend... (but I digress...) So... since I'm not exactly skilled at being an asshole... I figured I'd come on here an get some pointers... so assholes... let me have it... give me some ideas about how to change my very nature... (and if possible it should be subtle so no one actually sees it comming... until its too late)Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grue 1 #2 September 4, 2006 How about a nice greasy pork chop sandwich served in a dirty ashtray, fuckface? (If it makes you feel any better, I am the ONLY SINGLE MALE in my department at work. EVERY OTHER PERSON is married)cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #3 September 4, 2006 Here's an idea... fuck off! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #4 September 4, 2006 if you're talking to a girl, ask her if she douched tonight... if she says "no, WHY??" tell her "because you need to, you smell like a dead fish!" I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #5 September 4, 2006 wait wait wait... you're doing this all wrong... you should be asking this question in Speaker's Corner! I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #6 September 4, 2006 And if she says yes ask "are you sure you're doing it right?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #7 September 4, 2006 Be yourself Scott...what's with the rush anyway? Don't you take your dog with you most places? If not, start doing that. I hear that taking your dog to the park and while out on errands was a major "chick magnet" _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #8 September 4, 2006 QuoteAnd if she says yes ask "are you sure you're doing it right?" "It goes in the FRONT you dumb bitch!" I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matt1215 0 #9 September 4, 2006 <<>> If her cherry is puss filled, would that mean she has a pussy pussy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #10 September 4, 2006 QuoteBe yourself Scott...what's with the rush anyway? meh... its ok... no real rush... I'm just venting... and doing it creatively... these are some great ideas though... except for the dog thing... that doesn't actually work... I know... I've taken Karma to the dog park a lot... oh and don't worry about the be yourself thing... I don't know how to be anybody else... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #11 September 4, 2006 Quote<<>> If her cherry is puss filled, would that mean she has a pussy pussy. I suppose it would... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #12 September 4, 2006 Quote<<>> If her cherry is puss filled, would that mean she has a pussy pussy. otherwise known as a pussy squared, not to be confused w/ a square pussy. I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #13 September 4, 2006 Blah blah blah nice guys finish last blah blah blah. Bitterness is so attractive."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #14 September 4, 2006 QuoteQuoteBe yourself Scott...what's with the rush anyway? meh... its ok... no real rush... I'm just venting... and doing it creatively... these are some great ideas though... except for the dog thing... that doesn't actually work... I know... I've taken Karma to the dog park a lot... oh and don't worry about the be yourself thing... I don't know how to be anybody else... My exhubby got lots of dates by taking our Yorkie to the park...so it worked for him...who knows, maybe it wasn't the puppy..perhaps he had money or kibbles in his pockets that attracted all those ho's _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #15 September 4, 2006 QuoteI give up... I went to a party this evening with a bunch of non skydiving "friends" of mine... and I really felt out of place since everyone there either was in a long term relationship or was married... and frankly it took what had been a really awesome day and topped it with a rotten cherry... (like all moldy and puss filled... just gross you know what I mean...) So I've decided to say to hell with this nice guy shit and I'm turning over a new leaf as an asshole... the problem is that I'm not very good at being an asshole... I don't think I'm a pushover... (although the fact that my friend christine took most(ok all) of my afternoon/evening last night when I really should have been getting some work done makes me wonder... but I liked the company for a change and well... she is my friend... (but I digress...) So... since I'm not exactly skilled at being an asshole... I figured I'd come on here an get some pointers... so assholes... let me have it... give me some ideas about how to change my very nature... (and if possible it should be subtle so no one actually sees it comming... until its too late) Ok dude, seriously, shut the fuck up. I had some other shit typed here that I ran by a few people and well, it was deemed too harsh. You want advice on how to be an asshole. Here it goes. No one gives a fuck about your relationship problems. Nice guys finish last. We get it. Guess what, cocaine addicts and wife-beaters end up last too. Play the hand that you got dealt. Next time you see a woman you like, cowboy up and show some of that testicular fortitude that I know you have to have buried inside somewhere. If you can't do that, there is no help you are gonna get from a bunch of skydivers. Believe me, we're the last people on EARTH to give advice about healthy relationships. So you wanted a lesson on how to be an asshole? Ther eyou go. Quit giving a fuck. I'm not saying it is gonna get you anywhere, but that really isn't the point here is it? I'm a trained professional. Please don't try this at home. Ask your instructor before taking any advice you read here... Aw who am I kididng, I don't fucking care. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #16 September 4, 2006 Wow...that's some mega bitch slappin' action you got goin' there... So just for shitz n giggles, how's your weekend going? _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #17 September 4, 2006 "Cowboy Up." Christ on Crutches, I hate that expression. What the fuck does such a stupin expression mean anyway? And why are these dickwads making a NOUN into a damned VERB?? G-Damned cowboys. Ain't good for nothin. -just wanted to echo the asshole-sentiments of this thread. I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #18 September 4, 2006 QuoteWow...that's some mega bitch slappin' action you got goin' there... So just for shitz n giggles, how's your weekend going? Mine's just fine. Getting over being sick, and even had today off. I mean I could have gotten laid, and that would have improved it, but overall, I am doing mighty fine. There, I'll even add a smiley. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #19 September 4, 2006 QuoteBlah blah blah nice guys finish last blah blah blah. Bitterness is so attractive.ok... so both you and wildcard are saying I can't post a sarcastic post to vent a bit about the state of my love life... without... well... getting this shit... I am by no means claiming nice guys finish last... I never said that... I'm just voicing the fact that I'm a bit annoyed at the moment... geeze lighten up people... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #20 September 4, 2006 Quote"Cowboy Up." Christ on Crutches, I hate that expression. What the fuck does such a stupin expression mean anyway? And why are these dickwads making a NOUN into a damned VERB?? G-Damned cowboys. Ain't good for nothin. -just wanted to echo the asshole-sentiments of this thread. I've always wondered that myself...does "cowboy up" mean "suck it up, get back on the horse" or does it mean the John Wayne visual I have in my head of him hopping off the horse, sauntering towards the bad guy with his hand on his gun, ready to shoot? _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #21 September 4, 2006 QuoteQuote"Cowboy Up." Christ on Crutches, I hate that expression. What the fuck does such a stupin expression mean anyway? And why are these dickwads making a NOUN into a damned VERB?? G-Damned cowboys. Ain't good for nothin. -just wanted to echo the asshole-sentiments of this thread. I've always wondered that myself...does "cowboy up" mean "suck it up, get back on the horse" or does it mean the John Wayne visual I have in my head of him hopping off the horse, sauntering towards the bad guy with his hand on his gun, ready to shoot? Cowboy is the newfangled pop culture way of saying this... Have you ever seen the movie tombstone? That scene where Wyatt Earp walks in and takes the Faro table from that tub of lard....yeah. That. That right there. Man up. Show some nuts. Use that fucking undersized hog that god put between your legs. And as for venting. It is called venting when it is done once in a while. Not every other fucking day. That's called dribbling like soppy.... Well, you get the point. If I get myself banned then there is no way I can have this much fun without flashing nuns in public. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grue 1 #22 September 4, 2006 Quote"Cowboy Up." Christ on Crutches, I hate that expression. What the fuck does such a stupin expression mean anyway? And why are these dickwads making a NOUN into a damned VERB?? G-Damned cowboys. Ain't good for nothin. -just wanted to echo the asshole-sentiments of this thread. How about you lift up your skirt, check on your balls, and get it fucking changed, Susan? Take out the tampon and show those cowboys how to be a man, mmk? cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #23 September 4, 2006 QuoteQuote"Cowboy Up." Christ on Crutches, I hate that expression. What the fuck does such a stupin expression mean anyway? And why are these dickwads making a NOUN into a damned VERB?? G-Damned cowboys. Ain't good for nothin. -just wanted to echo the asshole-sentiments of this thread. How about you lift up your skirt, check on your balls, and get it fucking changed, Susan? Take out the tampon and show those cowboys how to be a man, mmk? OMG, that gets my nod for Post of the Night right there folks!!! I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #24 September 4, 2006 QuoteQuoteBlah blah blah nice guys finish last blah blah blah. Bitterness is so attractive.ok... so both you and wildcard are saying I can't post a sarcastic post to vent a bit about the state of my love life... without... well... getting this shit... I am by no means claiming nice guys finish last... I never said that... I'm just voicing the fact that I'm a bit annoyed at the moment... geeze lighten up people... um, remember what you titled this thread? I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #25 September 4, 2006 QuoteAnd as for venting. It is called venting when it is done once in a while. Not every other fucking day.huh... what are you talking about... I haven't said anything serious about dating... etc... in a long time... seriously... who pissed in your cheeros this morning... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
