guppie01 0 #1 July 26, 2006 The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, Karl, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!" "Karl, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!" "No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!" "Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!" Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster. "Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen." "Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?" "Why, eat it of course. You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a Bitch!" Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take & get a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!" Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!" "It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!" "Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?" Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner. "I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch", she said. As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in. "What are you doing Sister?" "Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's dinner." "Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!" "No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch fish." "Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch." On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent. The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?" "I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest. "And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister. The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a special recipe!" The new Bishop looked around at each of them. A big smile crept across his face as he said, "You fuckers are my kind of people g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 221 #2 July 26, 2006 Quote "You fuckers are my kind of people g You ain't so bad either.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #3 July 26, 2006 Three guys were applying for the priesthood. The Cardinal was going to give them a test. He tied a bell attached to a string on each of their peni$e$. He told them that he was going to show them pictures of naked girls and if the bells rang then they would flunk the priesthood test. He showed the first guy the pictures and nothing happened. "you passed", the Cardinal said. He showed the naked girls to the second guy. Nothing happened. "you passed." He showed the pictures to the third guy. Nothing happened. The Cardinal said "all of you passed." The Cardinal turned to put away the pictures but dropped them. He bent over to pick them up and all three bells went "ding, ding,ding. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cudlo 0 #4 July 26, 2006 Funny, but unless the Cardinal was 8 years old, I still don't think the bells would have been ringing_________________________________________ "People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." - Kierkegaard Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MF42 0 #5 July 26, 2006 On a related note... My grandfather was a preacher. He had just arrived in a new town to take over at a church whose current pastor was retiring. Still very new on the job, so nobody knew him very well yet. The church building needed some repairs, and Grandpa was a skilled carpenter, so he and a few of the regulars got to work one afternoon. Everybody was watching the new pastor when he missed a nail and hammered his thumb, hard. There was a moment of silence, then Grandpa yelled, "Grand Cooley!" Somebody asked, "Why did you yell Grand Cooley?" Grandpa replied, "That's the biggest dam I could think of right away." Matt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #6 July 26, 2006 I thought this thread was going to be about your sonYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piisfish 140 #7 July 26, 2006 QuoteSON OF A BITCH FISHis this a personnal attack ? scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #8 July 26, 2006 QuoteQuoteSON OF A BITCH FISHis this a personnal attack ? are you a Bitch?You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piisfish 140 #9 July 26, 2006 how can female dogs give birth to a fish ?scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #10 July 26, 2006 Quotehow can female dogs give birth to a fish ? Well if you are going to to start taking it literally, how on earth do you equate this with a personal attackYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matt1215 0 #11 July 26, 2006 Well... Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piisfish 140 #13 July 26, 2006 QuoteQuotehow can female dogs give birth to a fish ? Well if you are going to to start taking it literally, how on earth do you equate this with a personal attackI might be a bitch fish, but have no children...scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matt1215 0 #14 July 26, 2006 Seems like the exchange was going nowhere, and I was reminded of that classic line from Pulp Fiction. Wonder if there'll be any Whorsey sightings tonight. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MF42 0 #15 July 26, 2006 "Say 'what' again!! Say it again, motherfucker!" The Whorse was sighted over in the penis size thread. I'm kinda surprised to find out that he/she/it has a preference in penis size. Matt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #17 July 26, 2006 QuoteThe Whorse was sighted over in the penis size thread. I'm kinda surprised to find out that he/she/it has a preference in penis size. I thought everyone had an opinion on the topic. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
