waltappel 1 #51 July 3, 2006 QuoteIts not even about doing right by the other person. Its about doing right by yourself and living with honor. I don't think it's always that simple, but I've never been married. What if your spouse were mentally and/or physically incapacitated but you weren't willing to desert them? I certainly wouldn't fault someone for going outside the marriage while otherwise remaining loyal to their incapacitated spouse. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #52 July 3, 2006 YAY Are they still happy? Or are they just tolerating one another? Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #53 July 3, 2006 Those 4 points are all very good. It seems a little too simple, but it is the truth. For instance if you SO asks if something is wrong, and then you lie by saying nothing how can you effectively communicate your way out of the problem. Be faithful! It is part of that whole trust thing. Communicate as early as possible, and as often as possible about your feelings that way you won't let the damage become too great to be repaired.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #54 July 3, 2006 QuoteYAY Are they still happy? Or are they just tolerating one another? Screw that--are they happy with airtwardo or just tolerating him?!!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #55 July 3, 2006 QuoteYAY Are they still happy? Or are they just tolerating one another? *** They still sit next to each other in the car like high school kids!They always had the rule about never going to bed mad...I can remember some REAL LONG nights when I was growing up...before mom finally got him tired enough...wore him down...to compromise. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jeremy556 0 #56 July 3, 2006 Don't get married. It really is that simple, you don’t change your mind when faced with adversity when you have made a commitment. The whole sickness and in health until death do you part thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #57 July 3, 2006 QuoteDon't get married. It really is that simple, you don’t change your mind when faced with adversity when you have made a commitment. The whole sickness and in health until death do you part thing. I spent years working as a nurse. I have seen people in that situation and had the thought that I would not condemn them for going outside the marriage. I still wouldn't condemn them. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaden 0 #58 July 3, 2006 Right on...Well said, Thank you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drae 0 #59 July 3, 2006 Quote Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!!! There are things in life that are *far* worse than being cheated on. Not that being cheated on doesn't hurt, but it's not the end of the world. Walt I agree!! I was cheated on and tried to put it behind due to the fact that there were so many other good things. Oh well...after years of secrets and discoveries, I made the decision to end it. Can't believe the shock that caused . Makes me wonder if there was ever two of us involved!! The piece of advice I would give...there should be nothing someone can tell your SO about you that they do not already know. They are referred to as SO for a reason, and if they are truly significant you will not feel the need to hide things. If someone knows more about you than they do, THAT is who you need to be spending your life/time with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #60 July 3, 2006 QuoteQuoteYAY Are they still happy? Or are they just tolerating one another? Screw that--are they happy with airtwardo or just tolerating him?!!!! Walt *** They're happy with me...there are my PARENTS and THAT'S forever! Their proudest days was May 21 1980...I did a bandit jump into my college graduation. I landed in front of the stage in the football stadium wearing cutoffs and a skydiving tee shirt. The M.C. had to shuffle through the diplomas to get mine since I was there 'out of order'...and said, "We're all glad Jim will be leaving us after today." My folks said afterward..."Now...THAT was COOL!" ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #61 July 3, 2006 QuoteThey still sit next to each other in the car like high school kids!Awwwwwww! And I was afraid I was looking pretty silly for doing it (We have a crewcab pickup truck that seats 6). QuoteThey always had the rule about never going to bed mad....I like that rule! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #62 July 3, 2006 Simply, a lot of people don't value the institution of marriage anymore. It's "I'm in this, as long as you give ME what I want, fulfill MY needs, and give ME what I expect of you." In a society that teaches young teens to "date" by hopping from one person to another, this is somewhat like "little divorces" taking place over and over. The way we date, IMHO, teaches us that divorce is okay, because when you date someone as soon as they fail to meet all your expectations, you let them go and fiind someone else. I think we would do better if people waited till they were older before they started dating. If marriage is your goal, what's the point of dating if you aren't ready to get married? Oh yeah, I forgot... Couples should be REQUIRED to get premarital counseling to get married, in my opinion...and couples need to sit down and talk about their expectations for the marriage. Many times people jump into marriage with highly unrealistic expectations; if only someone had taught them what really goes on in a marriage, there would be better chances of a marriage lasting, or the wedding actually being called off. We have become such a self-centered, self-gratifying, impatient society, it's no wonder marriages nowadays have a very short shelf life. I too am guilty of being self-centered at times, but I think our society just caters to that kind of mentality. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drae 0 #63 July 3, 2006 Quote Oh, and we really like each other. We're always friends first and each others' best friend. We're faithful to each other through and through. I think that says it all!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NWFlyer 2 #64 July 3, 2006 QuoteI think we would do better if people waited till they were older before they started dating. If marriage is your goal, what's the point of dating if you aren't ready to get married? I'm thinking this is exactly the *wrong* solution. Dating doesn't have to be forever. Dating when you're young (and we can debate the definition of "young" but let's call it teens and 20s here) can help you figure out what you like and don't like in a relationship, and, more importantly, can help you figure out who *you* are before you enter into a "forever" commitment. Not to say that people who get married young can't end up with a strong marriage (just look at our own ACMESkydiver, who just celebrated 12 years yesterday, despite getting married when she was barely old enough to vote), but they've also worked very hard to have a strong marriage. Not everyone is able to pull that off at a young(er) age. Hell, not everyone is able to pull that off when they're older. I truly believe that years and experience at building and maintaining relationships of all kinds, be they romances, friendships, professional relationships, relationships with family can only help you to be more ready to enter into a marriage. For example, I have had an absolute blast in my adult relationship with my parents, which is very different from the relationship I had with them as a child... but we have had to work on defining and refining that relationship so that it works for all of us. However, if you don't bother to spend your "youth" learning and growing and learning how to build relationships, then you really are no better prepared for marriage."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Conundrum 1 #65 July 3, 2006 Marriage is a joke to most people these days, and it's pathetic. Vows aren't taken seriously, and it's to easy to get divorced. People get married to quick, to young, whatever, and they end up either cheating or getting divorced (or both), and ruining childrens lives. It makes me sick. /rant. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 220 #66 July 3, 2006 QuoteMarriage is a joke to most people these days, and it's pathetic. Vows aren't taken seriously, and it's to easy to get divorced. People get married to quick, to young, whatever, and they end up either cheating or getting divorced (or both), and ruining childrens lives. It makes me sick. /rant. Side note Funny to me story . . . considering this is a skydiving forum . . . I read this : QuoteMarriage is a joke to most people these days and could have sworn it said Mirage. I was just looking at it going - am I in "Gear and Rigging?"I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites windcatcher 0 #67 July 3, 2006 I see where you're coming from, but I still disagree. If a person is not mature enough to handle the complexities of a real relationship, and they are not "whole" in and of themselves without a boyfriend/girlfriend, they shouldn't be dating. How exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? Sorry, I don't see it. Dating at such a young age only seems to confirm that you don't have to be comfortable with yourself before you start dating. I think that's where a lot of problems start. edited to add: Teens can learn how to build relationships with people of the opposite sex, without having to date. Relational skills are built in one form or another, but one does not need to be dating someone to build those skills. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites waltappel 1 #68 July 3, 2006 QuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? I'd like to research this and get back you you. Volunteers? Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 220 #69 July 3, 2006 QuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? Because you don't know until you try it.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NWFlyer 2 #70 July 3, 2006 Nowhere did I say that dating has to equal sex. Yeah, it's more common in this day and age, but if it's not part of your values, then don't. Not having sex doesn't mean you can't date and can't have relationships that aren't precursors to marriage. And, if your value system doesn't include having sex before marriage, I would agree with you that if you can't be true to your own value system, you probably aren't ready to date. However, not everyone has the same values as you.... and their choice to have sex as part of an adult relationship is not a wrong one. QuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? That's a pretty cynical view on what adult relationships are about. If your view is that all that unmarried people do is "hop from bed to bed" and that's all the relationships are about, then yeah, I suppose I can understand why "only dating to get married" is more attractive to you. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites windcatcher 0 #71 July 3, 2006 dear Walt, always looking for opportunities! One of the reasons why I don't think dating is a good idea at such a young age, is because I have seen A LOT of kids get hurt from it. Who wants to expose themselves to heartache at such an early age, when we all know this life is inevitable for bringing pain and sorrow? Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites waltappel 1 #72 July 3, 2006 Quotedear Walt, always looking for opportunities! One of the reasons why I don't think dating is a good idea at such a young age, is because I have seen A LOT of kids get hurt from it. Who wants to expose themselves to heartache at such an early age, when we all know this life is inevitable for bringing pain and sorrow? I've never been married, but I have had a number of failed relationships. I'm open to the possibilities of marriage and I think having had those failed relationships makes me better able to do a better job if and when it happens. It's a growth process that, unfortunately, involves pain. I think that's unavoidable. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites airtwardo 7 #73 July 3, 2006 QuoteQuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? I'd like to research this and get back you you. Volunteers? Walt *** Found your first volunteer! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites waltappel 1 #74 July 3, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? I'd like to research this and get back you you. Volunteers? Walt *** Found your first volunteer! That cutie can share my bed anytime! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jaden 0 #75 July 3, 2006 I agree, to a point, unless you have Compromise...Fully assess your own situations. Marriage is all about making a commitment to someone. Feeling the need to love & take care of someone as well as you possibly can. Having every intention of keeping them by your side forever, through the great times & confusion. You know this. The promise is Honesty, Trust, Respect, Understanding, Compassion, Acceptance, Friendship & True Love. We are all very different... We show love in many different ways, however misconstrued. IMO. http://www.theweekmagazine.com/article.aspx?id=567 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next Page 3 of 7 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. 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NWFlyer 2 #64 July 3, 2006 QuoteI think we would do better if people waited till they were older before they started dating. If marriage is your goal, what's the point of dating if you aren't ready to get married? I'm thinking this is exactly the *wrong* solution. Dating doesn't have to be forever. Dating when you're young (and we can debate the definition of "young" but let's call it teens and 20s here) can help you figure out what you like and don't like in a relationship, and, more importantly, can help you figure out who *you* are before you enter into a "forever" commitment. Not to say that people who get married young can't end up with a strong marriage (just look at our own ACMESkydiver, who just celebrated 12 years yesterday, despite getting married when she was barely old enough to vote), but they've also worked very hard to have a strong marriage. Not everyone is able to pull that off at a young(er) age. Hell, not everyone is able to pull that off when they're older. I truly believe that years and experience at building and maintaining relationships of all kinds, be they romances, friendships, professional relationships, relationships with family can only help you to be more ready to enter into a marriage. For example, I have had an absolute blast in my adult relationship with my parents, which is very different from the relationship I had with them as a child... but we have had to work on defining and refining that relationship so that it works for all of us. However, if you don't bother to spend your "youth" learning and growing and learning how to build relationships, then you really are no better prepared for marriage."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #65 July 3, 2006 Marriage is a joke to most people these days, and it's pathetic. Vows aren't taken seriously, and it's to easy to get divorced. People get married to quick, to young, whatever, and they end up either cheating or getting divorced (or both), and ruining childrens lives. It makes me sick. /rant. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #66 July 3, 2006 QuoteMarriage is a joke to most people these days, and it's pathetic. Vows aren't taken seriously, and it's to easy to get divorced. People get married to quick, to young, whatever, and they end up either cheating or getting divorced (or both), and ruining childrens lives. It makes me sick. /rant. Side note Funny to me story . . . considering this is a skydiving forum . . . I read this : QuoteMarriage is a joke to most people these days and could have sworn it said Mirage. I was just looking at it going - am I in "Gear and Rigging?"I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #67 July 3, 2006 I see where you're coming from, but I still disagree. If a person is not mature enough to handle the complexities of a real relationship, and they are not "whole" in and of themselves without a boyfriend/girlfriend, they shouldn't be dating. How exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? Sorry, I don't see it. Dating at such a young age only seems to confirm that you don't have to be comfortable with yourself before you start dating. I think that's where a lot of problems start. edited to add: Teens can learn how to build relationships with people of the opposite sex, without having to date. Relational skills are built in one form or another, but one does not need to be dating someone to build those skills. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #68 July 3, 2006 QuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? I'd like to research this and get back you you. Volunteers? Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #69 July 3, 2006 QuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? Because you don't know until you try it.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #70 July 3, 2006 Nowhere did I say that dating has to equal sex. Yeah, it's more common in this day and age, but if it's not part of your values, then don't. Not having sex doesn't mean you can't date and can't have relationships that aren't precursors to marriage. And, if your value system doesn't include having sex before marriage, I would agree with you that if you can't be true to your own value system, you probably aren't ready to date. However, not everyone has the same values as you.... and their choice to have sex as part of an adult relationship is not a wrong one. QuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? That's a pretty cynical view on what adult relationships are about. If your view is that all that unmarried people do is "hop from bed to bed" and that's all the relationships are about, then yeah, I suppose I can understand why "only dating to get married" is more attractive to you. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #71 July 3, 2006 dear Walt, always looking for opportunities! One of the reasons why I don't think dating is a good idea at such a young age, is because I have seen A LOT of kids get hurt from it. Who wants to expose themselves to heartache at such an early age, when we all know this life is inevitable for bringing pain and sorrow? Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #72 July 3, 2006 Quotedear Walt, always looking for opportunities! One of the reasons why I don't think dating is a good idea at such a young age, is because I have seen A LOT of kids get hurt from it. Who wants to expose themselves to heartache at such an early age, when we all know this life is inevitable for bringing pain and sorrow? I've never been married, but I have had a number of failed relationships. I'm open to the possibilities of marriage and I think having had those failed relationships makes me better able to do a better job if and when it happens. It's a growth process that, unfortunately, involves pain. I think that's unavoidable. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #73 July 3, 2006 QuoteQuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? I'd like to research this and get back you you. Volunteers? Walt *** Found your first volunteer! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #74 July 3, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuoteHow exactly does hopping from one person's bed to another help one find what they really want/need in a partner? I'd like to research this and get back you you. Volunteers? Walt *** Found your first volunteer! That cutie can share my bed anytime! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaden 0 #75 July 3, 2006 I agree, to a point, unless you have Compromise...Fully assess your own situations. Marriage is all about making a commitment to someone. Feeling the need to love & take care of someone as well as you possibly can. Having every intention of keeping them by your side forever, through the great times & confusion. You know this. The promise is Honesty, Trust, Respect, Understanding, Compassion, Acceptance, Friendship & True Love. We are all very different... We show love in many different ways, however misconstrued. IMO. http://www.theweekmagazine.com/article.aspx?id=567 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
