For all of my Southern brothers and sisters

[jumpergirl 0]

If you are going to live or visit in the South, you need to know these rules.

1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color don't wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent.

4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for -- bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.

8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

9. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened -- add a lot of water.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So you have a sixty thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.

12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast). We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.

14. We don't do "hurry up" well.

15. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham hock.

16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream (pronounced brim) and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 75 goes two ways - Interstate 10 goes the other two. Pick one.

18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want Cream of Wheat - go to Kansas. That would be I-10 west.

19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or turkey season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, maple syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.

20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators - and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.

22. That Highway Patrol Officer or Sheriff's Deputy that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot -- his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.

23 We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.

24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions!!!! The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.

25. No, we don't care how you do things. If it is so great where you came from, why not visit another state or stay there? And no, here, we don't have an accent, you do.

Y'all have a good day now, ya hear!

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[stitch 0]

I-10 west doesn't go to Kansas......it goes to Texas.

"No cookies for you"- GFD
"I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65
Don't be a "Racer Hater"

[kelel01 1]

I REALLY need to move up north.

[JENNR8R 0]

I love it!

What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy
ones? -- Monday.

[Thanatos340 1]

Didnt you do that last year.. And then they sent you back.

[kelel01 1]

Yeah, well, I'll pick a better locale next time. Maybe West Coast, instead of north.

[jumpergirl 0]

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I-10 west doesn't go to Kansas......it goes to Texas.

I know. I didn't write it, just posted it. I meant to fix it.

[bmcd308 0]

And when we go to the grocery store, we collect items in a buggy that we push around. Carts and baskets are for people from other regions.

Brent

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www.jumpelvis.com

[Jaden 0]

Cool...Thanks!

[jumpergirl 0]

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And when we go to the grocery store, we collect items in a buggy that we push around. Carts and baskets are for people from other regions.

Brent

My girl friend likes to tell the story of the first time she took her Puerto Rican (ex) husband (Ray) to her home town in Panama City Beach. They went to the grocery store and did some shopping. As they were about to leave, a bag boy walked up to them and asked Ray, "Can I help ya with yer buggy?"

Ray: "My what?"

Bagboy: "Yer buggy. Can I help ya with yer buggy?"

Ray: "My WHAT?"

Bagboy: "Yer buggy. Yer buggy. Do ya need help with yer buggy?"

Ray: "My cart?"

Bagboy: "We don't gots carts. We gots buggys and you got one rit thar."

[Shotgun 1]

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6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

I have to agree with this one. Being an "older person" going back to school, I have seen more underwear and bare asses than I ever cared to see. Guess I've turned into an old fart, but I just don't get the "exposed butt crack" look. Seems popular amongst the young'uns though...

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14. We don't do "hurry up" well.

Yep. I guess I can blame my "slowness" on my Southern upbringing.

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20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

When my ex-husband (who was from England) first went to Texas with me, he asked me why everyone kept waving at us. That really freaked him out.

[jumpergirl 0]

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20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

When my ex-husband (who was from England) first went to Texas with me, he asked me why everyone kept waving at us. That really freaked him out.

[MF42 0]

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20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

When my ex-husband (who was from England) first went to Texas with me, he asked me why everyone kept waving at us. That really freaked him out.

That's funny.

I can always tell when we're in Texas. The slower folks pull over to the shoulder to let the faster ones pass. I haven't seen that anywhere else in the country. Good ol' Texans. No wondered we're so proud. )

[jumpergirl 0]

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Currently live in Wisconsin, but grew up and learned to drive mostly in Oklahoma. I wave at people. I pull over for faster traffic when on narrow two-lane roads. I think it does freak people out. They're not sure what the hell I'm doing.

Good for you! You'll be labeled the town weirdo driver now.

[namgrunt 0]

Jamie is a COWGIRL

and as for this OLD GRUMP..I STILL LIKE LADIES ASS CRACKS AND UNDIES..THANKS GIRLS

you all you yound studs..pull your pants up


..

59 YEARS,OVERWEIGHT,BALDIND,X-GRUNT
LAST MIL. JUMP VIET-NAM(QUAN-TRI)
www.dzmemories.com

[canpoyfreak 0]

That ther is the bes I've herd all daye....LOL

Canopy freak is how it should read

[McBeth 0]

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Yeah, well, I'll pick a better locale next time. Maybe West Coast, instead of north.

We'll take you over here

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[xenaswampjumper 0]

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24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions!!!! The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.

great one.......funny stuff!!!!!! hugs

till later have fun & love each other seeya mb65johnny gates....
In skydiving, the only thing that stops you is the ground..............
PMS# 472 Muff #3863 TPM#95

[diablopilot 2]

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Yep. I guess I can blame my "slowness" on my Southern upbringing.

I thought it was because you're "special".

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You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously.

[Nutz 0]

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The slower folks pull over to the shoulder to let the faster ones pass. I haven't seen that anywhere else in the country. Good ol' Texans. No wondered we're so proud. )

Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota. I think it is because westerners carry guns.

"Don't! Get! Eliminated!"

[MF42 0]

Everyday coming home from work I drive one stretch of road that's 8 miles of narrow two-lane, dark, often foggy, several stop signs, deer and possum randomly crossing, and just enough hills to ensure you can't see ahead more than a half mile, usually less.
And I'm constantly passed by idiots driving 70-80 mph. Why do they do it?

Matt

[jumpergirl 0]

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Everyday coming home from work I drive one stretch of road that's 8 miles of narrow two-lane, dark, often foggy, several stop signs, deer and possum randomly crossing, and just enough hills to ensure you can't see ahead more than a half mile, usually less.
And I'm constantly passed by idiots driving 70-80 mph. Why do they do it?

Because they're cool.