WHY!!! ERRRR

[NlghtJumper 0]

Why can't the ARMY make up their mind? According to my 1SG I am going to PCS to Fort Drum, NY. But according to ASK, I am going to Fort Campbell, KY. I have no clue which is correct, and I still have a couple hours before I can call Branch and sort it out. Jerks!


Is it really that hard to give ONE answer?

A man will do anything for the right woman,
and when that woman destroys him,
that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus

[Andy_Copland 0]

Not just the Army mate, you'll find it in nearly everywhere in employment.

I tend to just chill out, relax and let things happen. Either way your gonna go somewhere

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[NlghtJumper 0]

Yeah, I know I am going SOMEWHERE, but I would like to start making plans and that is extremely hard to do when you dont know where it is that you are going!

A man will do anything for the right woman,
and when that woman destroys him,
that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus

[wingnut 0]

dude, chill..... before today is up you should have it sorted..if not then start to wonder....... atleast you are pretty sure they arn't gona send you to some place fun like punsan.....

______________________________________
"i have no reader's digest version"

[Andy_Copland 0]

What wingnut said, if i was you i'd make the plan simple (plans always fail) and just make sure that your prepared to leave wherever your going. So make sure you got clean socks and underwear packed!

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[popsjumper 2]

A vacation in the foreign land
Uncle Sam does the best he can
You're in the army now
Oh, oh you're in the army - now

Now you remember what the draft man said
Nothing to do all day but stay in bed
You're in the army now
Oh, oh you're in the army - now




Why make plans? Whatever you plan is going to get screwed up when the final decision is made anyway so just chill and wait 'em out.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[Armour666 0]

Ok things I’ve learned in the Army

#1. Max Flex until your actually in a rack some place you could be going any where.
#2. Hurry up and wait. This is a very popular game where you rush for everything and when get there told it or you wert need for another 10 mins, hours, days ,weeks depending on the situation and how quick you rushed.
#3. Always make copies of your paperwork because 5 min after you hand it over some one other then the person you just gave the paperwork to will then tell you what you know is wrong.
#4. Never volunteer for any thing, Volunteer for everything. This little catch 22 is a fun little game they use mess with your mind, don’t volunteer and you get stuck for the shitty jobs, Volunteer and you’re still stuck with the shitty jobs and once in a while they will throw in something really fun because you volunteer. They do this to sucker you in to keep volunteering it in the hopes of having something good come along (hehe I used this one often )
#5. The one time you decide you won’t need it and leave it behind it will turn in to the time you need it. Inversely when you become a pack mule and take everything it ends up being only one in a hundred you'll actually use any of it other then the clean socks and underwear.
#6. Don’t do anything on this list Things Skippy cant do

Here are the one’s out of the list I’ve personally have done to become a special project of the Squadron Sergeant Major in the past

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working. (Or any T.V. show for that matter apparently due to the WO lack of clarification that he had meant that includes movies, documentaries, and educational videos)
6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.(or silent scope)
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters. (Ours wasn’t war crime but good wanted posters none the less)
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo. (Mine we weren’t allowed out of our vehicle when the Chief of Defense Staff came to our camp in Kosovo 30 min form Sarajevo)
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.
20. Must not taunt the French any more. (I guess I wasn’t the only one doing that )
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.
28. Don't take the batteries out of the other soldier’s alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times). (I wasn’t allowed to toss them off the balcony, how was I to know the CO would be walking by at that time?)
38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”. (lol this was the nick name of the payroll WO)
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”
62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay. (I found out apparently Even the inflatable sheep falls under the no pets rules)
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
73. No military functions are to be performed “Skyclad”. ( well I am pagan)
75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
78. I may not call block my chain of command.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...." (or in my case No shit there we were….
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection. (this is linked to #64
93. Nerve gas is not funny.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not “Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.”
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did. (and same for the SSM eaven though he looks it )
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a “Cool Mint” Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.
108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from “Full Monty” every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".
114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires - therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.
121. I should not use government resources to “waterproof” dirty magazines.
123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last. (Apparently is don’t include take some ones 2 drinks that is on leave)
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
130. “I’m drunk” is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander. ( or asking them are you drunk? )
131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
143. I do not need to keep a “range card” by my window.
149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
151. The proper way to report to my Commander is “Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir” not “You can't prove a thing!”
152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries. ( ahh the new guys are always good for a laugh)
155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.
165. I do not get “that time of month”.(apparently neither did our troop leader )
166. No, the pants are not optional.
170. Not allowed to “defect” to OPFOR during training missions.
173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
178. I am not “A lesbian trapped in a man's body”.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
190. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.
192. The proper response to a briefing is not “That's what you think”.
194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
198. Not allowed to lead a “Coup” during training missions.
199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car. (Wasn’t in my car but that did lead to #64)
* Must not answerer when some one replies oh my god with yes you called? I’m not thee god mind you just a demigod
* Must not leave offices at rest stops even though they were late.
* Can not request to have every order given to me to be in writing or in triplicates
* Can not ground Officer Cadets
* Escape and evasion is not Hide and seek calling Olie, Olie, Oxen Free dose not make me exempt from participating
* Water balloons and surgical tubing is not a weapon system that we need to practice and qualify on.

SO this one time at band camp.....

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most."

[SarahC07 0]

Well, you should create a poll and let the awesome people on dropzone.com vote on where you're going to go.

I'd bet we give you the right answer.

[SkyDane 0]

Thanks for the laugh!