Hipwrddude 0 #1 June 18, 2006 As an astute designer of extravagant creations, I present you a list of my prized inventions currently reaping millions of make-believe dollars: Unisex underwear-share wear, take intimacy to a whole new level! (no need to fish out underwear from the laundry.) No more, “Honey, did you wash my underwear?” Crowd pleaser - Multi-headed dildo, enuff said. Moon zipper-just zip, sit, shit & git! Forget something? Male bra – bodybuilder pecs for true manliness (to cover up adolescent bumps & large male breasts) Bubble pump for physical animation included free of charge. Half moon pants- pants with built in sexy buttocks. Warning: inflated rear rapidly expands when bending over. Onlookers MUST move OUT of the way! Thong pants – want people to check you out, right? Watch eyes grow in size to half dollars when you bend over… and the thong disappears. Open eyes - boring conversation? No problem, don these blinking eyes and you can doze off while chatterboxes blabber away. Snore prevention kit extra. Sudden ER-you know, most people have trouble getting an erection in a crowd of people. Not with Sudden ER! Boing! Show and tell that special someone “Tonight’s the Night!” in any location: church, school, concert, work, on the bus, supermarket checkout line. Viagra extra. Active cell phone-suddenly you are near that new found someone who enthralls you. Instantly your phone starts ringing and a voice speaks and you’re their agent! That’s right, you get so many calls, you must be important! If you’re a guy, just turn to her and say, “Excuse me, Brad Pitt, he’s so lost, he wants me to choose between a Prada suit and an Armani, I told him to go with an Armengildo Zegna cashmere jacket, he'll knock'em dead, it's a couple grand but it's promotion, right?” Or, for the gals out there, say, "Eva Langoria, my goodness, she's at a premiere with Teri Hatcher when Elizabeth Hurley showed up. She wants me to fly out there for an orgy with them, she's so crazy." You're always the starter in your own life! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
