CREW Training

[davidlayne 5]

Always on the forefront of CRWDog technology, ToadSucker Labs has developed a great new product for you CRWDogs who find that

you are just too weak and lazy to fly your parachute to that perfect spot in the universe.

The answer to your problems is the new Total Overall Arm Development System (TOADS).

The prototype uses an elastic band mounted to a large bolt in the ceiling. You can use any number of things - bungees, etc. What I have

is called a "Thera-Band". It's sort of a big rubber band made for physical therapy, and they come in different strengths.

Anyway, attached to the elastic is a CRW riser. By positioning yourself at the right point, the angle of the riser can be made to

approximate the angle of your real riser in flight. By pulling the riser from overhead down to your chest, you work all of the right riser-

pulling muscles. The height of this system is such that the exercises are performed while sitting, this works well when set up in

front of the TV. You just slide the seat over to one side or the other to work each arm. Doing one arm at a time gives the advantage of being

able to drink a beer with the resting arm. When used in conjunction with Mikey G's concept of 40 oz. curls, you add a crosstraining aspect

to it. TOADS really works well for a lot of different exercises. By moving a little one way or the other, you can get the perfect angles for

doing extra work on biceps, lats, etc.

Be on the lookout for the new ToadSucker Labs infomercial, made in cooperation with Victoria's Secret. You will see TOADS in action,

demonstrated by CRWDog fitness spokesmodels Shireen and Annie. Watch as they demonstrate how weak, lazy CRWDogs can become

world-class flyers all without spilling your beer.

But wait. That's not all. Coming soon from ToadSucker Labs - the new CRW wrap simulator. The preliminary working name for this great

new invention is the Canopy Rotational Acceleration Product (CRAP). So far, the test setup is an

upside-down harness attached to an old ceiling fan, but we at ToadSucker Labs feel that soon we will have another first-rate trainer

to offer to the CRW community.

I don't care how many skydives you've got,
until you stepped into complete darkness at
800' wearing 95 lbs of equipment and 42 lbs
of parachute, son you are still a leg!

[leapdog 0]

Quote

But wait. That's not all. Coming soon from ToadSucker Labs - the new CRW wrap simulator. The preliminary working name for this great

new invention is the Canopy Rotational Acceleration Product (CRAP). So far, the test setup is an

upside-down harness attached to an old ceiling fan, but we at ToadSucker Labs feel that soon we will have another first-rate trainer

to offer to the CRW community.

Where do I sign up!?

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker