VanillaSkyGirl 6 #1 May 25, 2006 I'm now recurrent again, after going for about a year and a half (almost 2 yrs, if you don't count 3 days) of not jumping. I have jumped on three seperate days so far. I haven't jumped for a month, now, due to having problems finding gear that fits. I might have gear for this weekend that is almost a decent fit, but I feel so anxious, still. What is wrong with me??? What is strange is that on the day that I became recurrent, I was not scared at all. I was just happy. Now, I've built up fear, somehow. I hate being under canopy, and I've had canopy coaching with the best coach (although with the damned used rental geat, which is huge on me.) I am even scared of the gear because of the fit problems. See attached pic for a picture of the best fitting rig that I've ever used, so far, which was my own back then. Back when I originally posted this pic, people PMed me to stop using that rig because it's dangerous. Well, that rig had a 14" harness, which is too big, but ALL of the rigs that I use now are much bigger than that. After seeing this picture, I am frightened of being in all of those much bigger rigs. It's really mostly mental because I've flown those rigs in the past without much issue, but I cannot get over my fears of the gear, and especially of landing. I love skydiving. I don't want to stop, but I HATE feeling this kind of fear and dread. It's not the way that I can comfortably skydive. How can I stop these mind games? I am so unhappy with myself about all of this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #2 May 25, 2006 Hey Ro. Just try to focus on the jump you want to do and not your fear. Fear leads to tension, tension leads to bad stuff with your body position. Relax, close your eyes, and just feel the wind. Your thighs feel ok after jumping that. I understand what people are concerned about. Does the chestrap on those rigs come up on you when you open up. That could be a no good situation. If you have new to you gear that actually fits you then you should be able to rock it like a rocket.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #3 May 25, 2006 You could get yourself one of those add-on belly bands that seem to help with oversize gear. You can try a search in gear and rigging.Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #4 May 25, 2006 Thank you, but perhaps I should clarify. I am very happy during the actual body flying portion of the skydive. I've never had any fear with that. My body position is not the problem. It's flying the canopy that scares me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #5 May 25, 2006 yeah I took a closer look at the pic, and then I edited my post. That rig was probibly not even made for a woman.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #6 May 25, 2006 Thanks Remi! I've just been scared because I've been using different gear. The rental ones don't even fit, and they only have one rig (a student rig) that fits a little, but even that is huge. I am borrowing Gia's rig tomorrow, but the shoulders are big on me, which makes me nervous under canopy. While skydiving, i am always so happy and feel secure with the flying. Under canopy, I always have time to think, and the turbulence under those big things makes me so nervous. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #7 May 25, 2006 Quotefeel so anxious, still. What is wrong with me??? If being anxious is wrong, you aren't human. It's a perfectly normal human trait, designed to help us live longer. There is nothing wrong with you. "I'm scared to jump out of a plane" seems to me to be a pretty rational thing. There are two ways to deal with the fear and dread: 1) quit skydiving; and 2) work through it. Part of the reason tomorrow will be my third anniversary of my last jump is that I am TRULY scared to jump now that I've got so much to lose. When I'm ready, I'll do it, but I've got time. You've got good reason to be scared. It was less than two years ago that you took your break. Be reasonable in understanding that you are human. You've helped me many times to understand that there is nothign wrong with me when I thought there was. Well, there's plenty wrong with me, but not the stuff you helped me with. You are experiencing a perfectly normal and human emotion. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #8 May 25, 2006 QuoteThat rig was probibly not even made for a woman. That rig was most definitely was made for a tiny woman, and it used to belong to me. I bought it used off another small woman (Kelly is 5'1" 105 lbs.), who had it altered for her. I am unsually small. (I am 5'0" and about 96 lbs.) Look at me in relation to the person who I am skydiving with in the picture. The rigs at the DZs are always much bigger than this one. Lawrocket~ Thank you. I am not a quitter, so it's hard for me to accept that I am scared. (I know that you aren't, either.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #9 May 25, 2006 Sorry. I didn't realize how tiny you really were. The rig in that pic used to be your rig? Were the leg straps that loose back then as well?Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bob.dino 1 #10 May 25, 2006 Quote...but I feel so anxious, still. What is wrong with me??? Nothing. Jumping out of a plane is scary. If you don't have full trust in your gear, the fear can be magnified. QuoteHow can I stop these mind games? I am so unhappy with myself about all of this. Don't try and beat down the fear. Acknowledge it, acknowledge the source of it, and jump more. Familiarity breeds comfort. The more you jump the less scared you'll be. At least, that's what worked for me. And maybe spring for a custom container? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #11 May 25, 2006 QuoteSorry. I didn't realize how tiny you really were. The rig in that pic used to be your rig? Were the leg straps that loose back then as well? Yes, the leg straps have never fit me well enough, but it's hard to actually know what a good fit is at my size, unless it's custom. (i didn't know things were this bad with my old rig, until I saw this picture.) I AM getting a custom Jav made, but in the meantime, I have nothing really small enough. I just bought a used one from another small girl, but who knows if it will truly fit me. I'll find out tomorrow, when I try it on. Anyway, I only wanted to show a pic to demonstrate why I have become even more nervous about the gear issues. There are all of these fears swirling around in my head. I want to know if anyone else went through this, and I want to hear how they've resolved their fears of jumping. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #12 May 25, 2006 Thank you! You're right...but it's easier said, than done. Arrrrghhhh... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #13 May 25, 2006 Well when you get this "new" used rig have a rigger check the fit with you. From what I have read leg straps should be no problem for a qualified rigger to modify to fit you.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bob.dino 1 #14 May 25, 2006 QuoteThank you! You're right...but it's easier said, than done. Just like most things in skydiving . If it was easy, it wouldn't be any fun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kbordson 8 #15 May 25, 2006 {{{{ Hug }}}} sorry it's coming back rough. Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mnealtx 0 #16 May 25, 2006 Ro - You *CAN* do this! There's absolutely nothing wrong at all with having a healthy respect for the things that can go wrong, as long as you control it, instead of it controlling you. Take a deep breath...recognize the fear for what it is - recognition that something COULD go wrong - then blow it out, let the fear flow past, and jump!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VanillaSkyGirl 6 #17 May 25, 2006 Thanks Karen! (And Dave and everyone!) I just feel so disappointed in myself. I wish that I could just feel confidence RIGHT NOW. Edited: Thank you, Mike! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Gawain 0 #18 May 25, 2006 Having jumped with you many, many times, all I have to say is this: You are safe, have beautiful body position, and I've observed you to be very well conditioned under canopy. While I've been out of the game for a little while, I suggest you continue to seek gear that you can own, and reassure yourself as you use the gear that you've used in the past. Basically, what I'm saying is, you should keep jumping. You know I'm going to give it a try once I'm up-up with my full issue of prosthetic legs... So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Viking 0 #19 May 25, 2006 Rosa parden my ignorance but what is stopping you from buying a custom rig?I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VanillaSkyGirl 6 #20 May 26, 2006 Not everyone can afford to buy custom for the first rig, including me. I am getting one, now. It's not coming overnight, though. I need a rig now and need to downsize my mains, first. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VanillaSkyGirl 6 #21 May 26, 2006 QuoteBasically, what I'm saying is, you should keep jumping. You know I'm going to give it a try once I'm up-up with my full issue of prosthetic legs... Ok, you are inspiring me. I have to keep thinking about you, when I feel fear. I hope to jump with you again, Max. Believe it or not, when I first read about you, it made me want to return to skydiving. (Thank you for the chat! You rock! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites micro 0 #22 May 26, 2006 having just come back from 3 years off myself, i don't have any words of wisdom, except follow your love of skydiving... i think the fear under canopy will diminish, just don't get in over your head. and welcome back to the sky!!! I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites guppie01 0 #23 May 26, 2006 Ro, Do not discount your ability. Do not let the fear control you. And please do not be disappointed in yourself. Like LawRocket stated, we are human - we all make mistakes. Learning from them and moving forward is what's important. You have taken the steps (learning) with the canopy control... now you need to believe in you, don't set yourself up for failure by second guessing yourself. You are much stronger than that. It is rational to have fear, it keeps us safe. But remember YOU control that canopy - fly it!!!! Overcome it!!!! As far as the rig fit goes.... I know that's a frustrating / scary situation for you. Making the decision to fly in a rig that is too large for you is a risk - consider the risk and decide if you want to wait until the custom rig comes before getting actively involved again.... your call, but you know you are always welcome to use mine. Sorry if any of this sounds harsh ya know I love ya girl.... It was just really difficult to see you coming down so hard on yourself when I know you are a lil studette whatever you put your mind to!!!! Time to kick some fear ass and take numbers!!! xoxo g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skydemon2 0 #24 May 26, 2006 maybe you should see about getting a smaller canopy so you put some weight on it that way you wont be bouncing around so much under canopy, I know you are using a bigger one because you are not that current and you want to be safe but really what are you loading it at 0.5/1 maybe a little more? If I was that lightly loaded Id be worried about the damn thing collapsing to maybe a smaller canopy will give you that feeling of being supported by something rather than just floating around and every little air bump throws you around like a rag doll I like feeling like im connected to my canopy I could never fly a canopy as lightly loaded as you (sorry I couldnt help myself I had to respond even though I said I wouldnt hope it isnt to WEIRD) I mean really you could go down to a 135 and not even break 1.0/1 Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skydemon2 0 #25 May 26, 2006 Gia said my advise was bad so her is what I pm'd her: I understand that and I wouldnt want her to get hurt, but really at what point does a canopy become to lightly loaded? to the point where its dangerous because it bounces around to much and you risk collapsing because it doesnt have enough weight on it to support the wing? Maybe she is nervous under canopy because she is getting whipped around and doesnt feel safe on the canopy, and that is the real reason for some of her fears?? Im not saying go out and buy a 100sqft rocket but how about a little more weight to give the wing some stability so it feels solid above her.Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! 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kbordson 8 #15 May 25, 2006 {{{{ Hug }}}} sorry it's coming back rough. Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #16 May 25, 2006 Ro - You *CAN* do this! There's absolutely nothing wrong at all with having a healthy respect for the things that can go wrong, as long as you control it, instead of it controlling you. Take a deep breath...recognize the fear for what it is - recognition that something COULD go wrong - then blow it out, let the fear flow past, and jump!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #17 May 25, 2006 Thanks Karen! (And Dave and everyone!) I just feel so disappointed in myself. I wish that I could just feel confidence RIGHT NOW. Edited: Thank you, Mike! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #18 May 25, 2006 Having jumped with you many, many times, all I have to say is this: You are safe, have beautiful body position, and I've observed you to be very well conditioned under canopy. While I've been out of the game for a little while, I suggest you continue to seek gear that you can own, and reassure yourself as you use the gear that you've used in the past. Basically, what I'm saying is, you should keep jumping. You know I'm going to give it a try once I'm up-up with my full issue of prosthetic legs... So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking 0 #19 May 25, 2006 Rosa parden my ignorance but what is stopping you from buying a custom rig?I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #20 May 26, 2006 Not everyone can afford to buy custom for the first rig, including me. I am getting one, now. It's not coming overnight, though. I need a rig now and need to downsize my mains, first. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #21 May 26, 2006 QuoteBasically, what I'm saying is, you should keep jumping. You know I'm going to give it a try once I'm up-up with my full issue of prosthetic legs... Ok, you are inspiring me. I have to keep thinking about you, when I feel fear. I hope to jump with you again, Max. Believe it or not, when I first read about you, it made me want to return to skydiving. (Thank you for the chat! You rock! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites micro 0 #22 May 26, 2006 having just come back from 3 years off myself, i don't have any words of wisdom, except follow your love of skydiving... i think the fear under canopy will diminish, just don't get in over your head. and welcome back to the sky!!! I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites guppie01 0 #23 May 26, 2006 Ro, Do not discount your ability. Do not let the fear control you. And please do not be disappointed in yourself. Like LawRocket stated, we are human - we all make mistakes. Learning from them and moving forward is what's important. You have taken the steps (learning) with the canopy control... now you need to believe in you, don't set yourself up for failure by second guessing yourself. You are much stronger than that. It is rational to have fear, it keeps us safe. But remember YOU control that canopy - fly it!!!! Overcome it!!!! As far as the rig fit goes.... I know that's a frustrating / scary situation for you. Making the decision to fly in a rig that is too large for you is a risk - consider the risk and decide if you want to wait until the custom rig comes before getting actively involved again.... your call, but you know you are always welcome to use mine. Sorry if any of this sounds harsh ya know I love ya girl.... It was just really difficult to see you coming down so hard on yourself when I know you are a lil studette whatever you put your mind to!!!! Time to kick some fear ass and take numbers!!! xoxo g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skydemon2 0 #24 May 26, 2006 maybe you should see about getting a smaller canopy so you put some weight on it that way you wont be bouncing around so much under canopy, I know you are using a bigger one because you are not that current and you want to be safe but really what are you loading it at 0.5/1 maybe a little more? If I was that lightly loaded Id be worried about the damn thing collapsing to maybe a smaller canopy will give you that feeling of being supported by something rather than just floating around and every little air bump throws you around like a rag doll I like feeling like im connected to my canopy I could never fly a canopy as lightly loaded as you (sorry I couldnt help myself I had to respond even though I said I wouldnt hope it isnt to WEIRD) I mean really you could go down to a 135 and not even break 1.0/1 Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skydemon2 0 #25 May 26, 2006 Gia said my advise was bad so her is what I pm'd her: I understand that and I wouldnt want her to get hurt, but really at what point does a canopy become to lightly loaded? to the point where its dangerous because it bounces around to much and you risk collapsing because it doesnt have enough weight on it to support the wing? Maybe she is nervous under canopy because she is getting whipped around and doesnt feel safe on the canopy, and that is the real reason for some of her fears?? Im not saying go out and buy a 100sqft rocket but how about a little more weight to give the wing some stability so it feels solid above her.Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 Next Page 1 of 4 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
micro 0 #22 May 26, 2006 having just come back from 3 years off myself, i don't have any words of wisdom, except follow your love of skydiving... i think the fear under canopy will diminish, just don't get in over your head. and welcome back to the sky!!! I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #23 May 26, 2006 Ro, Do not discount your ability. Do not let the fear control you. And please do not be disappointed in yourself. Like LawRocket stated, we are human - we all make mistakes. Learning from them and moving forward is what's important. You have taken the steps (learning) with the canopy control... now you need to believe in you, don't set yourself up for failure by second guessing yourself. You are much stronger than that. It is rational to have fear, it keeps us safe. But remember YOU control that canopy - fly it!!!! Overcome it!!!! As far as the rig fit goes.... I know that's a frustrating / scary situation for you. Making the decision to fly in a rig that is too large for you is a risk - consider the risk and decide if you want to wait until the custom rig comes before getting actively involved again.... your call, but you know you are always welcome to use mine. Sorry if any of this sounds harsh ya know I love ya girl.... It was just really difficult to see you coming down so hard on yourself when I know you are a lil studette whatever you put your mind to!!!! Time to kick some fear ass and take numbers!!! xoxo g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydemon2 0 #24 May 26, 2006 maybe you should see about getting a smaller canopy so you put some weight on it that way you wont be bouncing around so much under canopy, I know you are using a bigger one because you are not that current and you want to be safe but really what are you loading it at 0.5/1 maybe a little more? If I was that lightly loaded Id be worried about the damn thing collapsing to maybe a smaller canopy will give you that feeling of being supported by something rather than just floating around and every little air bump throws you around like a rag doll I like feeling like im connected to my canopy I could never fly a canopy as lightly loaded as you (sorry I couldnt help myself I had to respond even though I said I wouldnt hope it isnt to WEIRD) I mean really you could go down to a 135 and not even break 1.0/1 Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydemon2 0 #25 May 26, 2006 Gia said my advise was bad so her is what I pm'd her: I understand that and I wouldnt want her to get hurt, but really at what point does a canopy become to lightly loaded? to the point where its dangerous because it bounces around to much and you risk collapsing because it doesnt have enough weight on it to support the wing? Maybe she is nervous under canopy because she is getting whipped around and doesnt feel safe on the canopy, and that is the real reason for some of her fears?? Im not saying go out and buy a 100sqft rocket but how about a little more weight to give the wing some stability so it feels solid above her.Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
