MaalStar 0 #1 May 27, 2006 A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going up! Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits--yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?" The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?" What is the difference between a crappy golfer and a crappy skydiver? A crappy golfer goes "WHACK, dammit!" A crappy skydiver goes "Dammit, WHACK!" A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with the dog." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground" he answered. "But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered: "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack." Anyway Im Bored. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MaalStar 0 #2 May 27, 2006 Found another... Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver? A: She missed the Earth! And finally [http://www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=386] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ffejdraga 0 #3 May 27, 2006 QuoteFound another... Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver? A: She missed the Earth! And finally http://www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=386 fixed it for ya... jeff D-16906 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
