Mens Rule Book...

[LisaH 0]

Too lazy to edit for spelling and grammar. Long but funny....

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the
guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo

[freefalle 0]

AMEN

[skydemon2 0]

Quote

Too lazy to edit for spelling and grammar. Long but funny....

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the
guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

Young gurls should be made to memorize this at a early age!!

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone!

I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!!

[waltappel 1]

Yes, this is a good thing.

Walt

[LisaH 0]

Young gurls should be made to memorize this at a early age!!
~~~~

Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo

[yamtx73 0]

Quote

Young gurls should be made to memorize this at a early age!!

Hell, all women should memorize these simple rules and there'd be no problems...

The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

[leapdog 0]

Quote

Quote

Young gurls should be made to memorize this at a early age!!

Hell, all women should memorize these simple rules and there'd be no problems...

Halleluiah! can I get an Amen?

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[yamtx73 0]

Amen brotha's an' sistah's

The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

[deltablue 0]

LOL


PREACH IT !

~He who looks outside his own heart dreams, he who looks inside his own heart awakens - Carl Jung~

My Space

[Broke 0]

You forgot this one

1 Sex: quantity is quality

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[georgerussia 0]

Wow, this is cool!
Saw it about a year ago for the first time in Russian on a forum. Didn't understand some jokes at that time, but now I see the problem - they just didn't translate it correctly.

Hmm... tried it myself; found no way to translate "I am in shape. Round IS a shape!" to Russian without making it senseless. Forgive them.

* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. *

[dzjohn 0]

So I guess this means there is finally a female out there that understands what we say, my god took long enough.

[cocheese 0]

Couldn't have said it any better myself.

Ladies please learn these simple rules. The more you know them, the better we will all get along.

[bdbrown 0]

thats great, should be MEN 101

--------------------------------------------------

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

So I guess this means there is finally a female out there that understands what we say, my god took long enough.

Women understand two things:

1- They know all those rules and don't care.
2- Whoever has all the p----, makes all the rules.

If she doesn't want to discuss the p-word, he doesn't have to worry about rules.

[Nenesanteago 0]

Finaly somebody said it just the way we see it.

Thank You

[xenaswampjumper 0]

brillantly put

till later have fun & love each other seeya mb65johnny gates....
In skydiving, the only thing that stops you is the ground..............
PMS# 472 Muff #3863 TPM#95

[mjosparky 4]

Quote

leapdog

Halleluiah! can I get an Amen?

Quote

dzjohn

So I guess this means there is finally a female out there that understands what we say, my god took long enough.

You guys have got to be kidding, or you live in a fantasy world.

When the right one comes along you will put the seat lid down and buy her all the shoes she wants.

And your final word on any subject will be "Yes Dear".

My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

[LisaH 0]

You guys have got to be kidding, or you live in a fantasy world.

When the right one comes along you will put the seat lid down and buy her all the shoes she wants.

And your final word on any subject will be "Yes Dear".
~~~
Nahhh...you're not looking hard enough.

Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo

[malboy 0]

yeah true love should be a compromise... just seems that the men seem to do more of the compromising!

www.ewancowie.com
www.facebook.com/ewancowiephotography

[dzjohn 0]

Yes maaaammmmmm

[dzjohn 0]

We'll see bout that one then and If

[malboy 0]

Quote

We'll see bout that one then and If

i wish you the best of luck, really...

www.ewancowie.com
www.facebook.com/ewancowiephotography