DancesWClouds 0 #1 May 12, 2006 If you were to write a Dear John/Dear Jane letter, or if you were the recipient of a Dear John/Dear Jane letter, which would you prefer: A short "Babe, I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I gotta fly. . ." letter, or A long "These are the reasons why, and I'm really sorry and it's hard for me too, but I'm doing it for the sake of the cats", etc. etc. etc. ? The former seems a bit abrupt, and the latter seems to just rehash everything that had been talked about, fought about and struggled with, ad nauseum. Your thoughts and experiences are appreciated. ° Dances Muff Brother #2169 "You can take the girl out of the sky, but not the sky out of the girl!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #2 May 12, 2006 QuoteIf you were to write a Dear John/Dear Jane letter, or if you were the recipient of a Dear John/Dear Jane letter, which would you prefer: A short "Babe, I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I gotta fly. . ." letter, or A long "These are the reasons why, and I'm really sorry and it's hard for me too, but I'm doing it for the sake of the cats", etc. etc. etc. ? The former seems a bit abrupt, and the latter seems to just rehash everything that had been talked about, fought about and struggled with, ad nauseum. Your thoughts and experiences are appreciated. ° Short and to the point for sure. No need for any extra drama. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #3 May 12, 2006 Communication is very important to me personally. Sometimes, understanding the "why" part can make the breakup easier.Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DancesWClouds 0 #4 May 12, 2006 Sarah: (O/T) does Orange still have the wall of Haiku? ° Dances Muff Brother #2169 "You can take the girl out of the sky, but not the sky out of the girl!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hisgoofyness 0 #5 May 12, 2006 Personally, I would want the person to sit me down in person and tell me. Not write it, and walk away. I would prefer an open discussion. Just my opinion, but I believe you would have better closure that way... Goudha is for Buddha, and that's good enough for me! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DancesWClouds 0 #6 May 12, 2006 I hear ya there. . . but having discussed the problems time and again, AND understanding that there could be . . .er, *consequences* by leaving, a letter is in order. ° Dances Muff Brother #2169 "You can take the girl out of the sky, but not the sky out of the girl!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #7 May 12, 2006 QuotePersonally, I would want the person to sit me down in person and tell me. Not write it, and walk away. I would prefer an open discussion. Just my opinion, but I believe you would have better closure that way... ___________________________________ ...OR, you could really be cold-blooded and e-mail it! Person to person is the best way. Sometimes, not the easiest but, still the best way. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,541 #8 May 12, 2006 You have very valid reasons for doing what you're doing. Consider whether a public thread on dz.com is the best place to talk about them. That said, I'd write more than a paragraph, no more than 3. Say what you feel, not what they've failed at -- because this is about you. It doesn't matter what they think about you after you're gone. Repeat that several times, because it's a toughie. Then leave, make it total. Don't call to check up. Don't take calls needing help (unless they have to do with joint affairs). Let him work through his part on his side, you work through your part on your side. You're starting a new life. Give him a couple of tools to start his, including the ability by making the cut definite. But don't tell him in terms of him. Tell him in terms of you. Because it's OK for it to be in terms of you. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpergirl 0 #9 May 12, 2006 QuoteThat said, I'd write more than a paragraph, no more than 3. Say what you feel, not what they've failed at -- because this is about you. It doesn't matter what they think about you after you're gone. Repeat that several times, because it's a toughie. Then leave, make it total. Don't call to check up. Don't take calls needing help (unless they have to do with joint affairs). Let him work through his part on his side, you work through your part on your side. You're starting a new life. Give him a couple of tools to start his, including the ability by making the cut definite. But don't tell him in terms of him. Tell him in terms of you. Because it's OK for it to be in terms of you. This bear repeating... I couldn't agree more with you, Wendy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #10 May 12, 2006 QuotePersonally, I would want the person to sit me down in person and tell me. Not write it, and walk away. I would prefer an open discussion. Just my opinion, but I believe you would have better closure that way... Personally, I think it is largely irrelevant why someone is ending a relationship. All that really matters is the person thinks the relationship is no longer what they want. Discussing the reasons serves little purpose other than to fuel playing the blame game or the recipient's speculation as to what they could have done differently. I think it's better for both people just to move on. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #11 May 12, 2006 QuoteO/T) does Orange still have the wall of Haiku? Are you talking about all the writing in the Tiki Bar?Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
