yardhippie 0 #26 April 21, 2006 QuoteTo my brother and I: "You guys could tear up an anvil with a tack hammer." or even worse: fuck up an anvil with a feather duster.Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
namgrunt 0 #27 April 21, 2006 KPIP KEEP PECKER IN PANTS "IF YOU CAN LIVE WITH HER I CAN LOOK AT HER" DOEN'T BE A SMART ASS YOU WANT IT..EARN IT ..59 YEARS,OVERWEIGHT,BALDIND,X-GRUNT LAST MIL. JUMP VIET-NAM(QUAN-TRI) www.dzmemories.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #28 April 21, 2006 My dad didn't say much to us. However, when I said, "I love you dad." He would always say, "I love you more."Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #29 April 21, 2006 QuoteMy dad didn't say much to us. However, when I said, "I love you dad." He would always say, "I love you more." I can't repeat what my dad said - not even on the internet.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpjunkie2004 0 #30 April 21, 2006 QuoteI can't repeat what my dad said - not even on the internet. Jump, Land, Pack, Repeat... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SimpleOne 0 #31 April 21, 2006 "I was born at night, but not last night" I always hated that. Then I was dating a guy who said the same thing to me, and I almost passed out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
karenmeal 0 #32 April 21, 2006 "You're on my shit-list." I usually earned it when he said that. "Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaM 0 #33 April 21, 2006 *sitting at a stoplight behind a car not moving the second the light turned* "It doesn't get any greener" or "What are you waiting for?! An invitation/Christmas" ~ Lisa ~ Do you Rigminder? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JENNR8R 0 #34 April 21, 2006 "Go cut your own switch, and make sure it has stickers on it. If it's not long enough, I'll wear that one out on you to the size of a toothpick and send you after another one." This thread is haunting me. I can't think of one positive thing that my father ever said to me... but I loved him unconditionally...What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #35 April 21, 2006 My father has always had a very dry sense of humor. Dry as in "not funny". He has said only one truly funny thing ever, as far as I know. When my brother and I were kids we were walking down a sidewalk and passed a manhole where some guys were working. My father walked up to the edge of the manhole, looked down in it and, with a completely serious face said, "Catching anything?". Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dumpster 0 #36 April 21, 2006 "Put the gun down" Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #37 April 21, 2006 This thread is really making me appreciate my father. Not that I didn't already, but yeah."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jdog 0 #38 April 21, 2006 A small selection of my Dad's classic lines: "You don't have to be going balls to the wall 100% of the time." "I don't care if you skydive, just don't BASE jump, that's too dangerous" Every year on vacation when my brother and I were running around barefoot - "Get some shoes on! One cut on the bottom of your foot can ruin a perfectly good vacation." I should have listened to this one. Landing out while barefoot, on what was supposed to be a beach jump, in Mexico did ruin my vacation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TypicalFish 0 #39 April 21, 2006 My fave: "Dad, can I do this?" "Matthew, this is America, you can do whatever you want..." "I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TypicalFish 0 #40 April 21, 2006 Oh, and: "Dad, where's it at?" "Behind the "at""... I think it was a grammar lesson..."I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #41 April 21, 2006 Upon finding 24, uh, potted plants hidden in my room: "Get those things the hell out of my house!" He never mentioned them again. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #42 April 21, 2006 My Dad was the King of Bad Jokes: "Hey look, a flea market! Why would anyone wanna buy a flea?" driving by a cemetery: "Ya know, people are just dying to get in there." before dinner: "Wash your paws!" "It's cold enough to freeze the tail (or balls, when we got older) off a brass monkey!" Things my Grandpa used to say: "I'm busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest!" "He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions written on the heel!" A limerick he used to say: "On the breast of a waitress named Gail Was tattooed the price of Pale Ale And on her behind For the sake of the blind, The same was written in Braille." And when I was little he would tell us that in the little town where he lived (Irwin, PA) the population has always stayed the same, because everytime a baby is born a man leaves town. (We didn't get that when we were little, we just thought, "Oh, that's interesting.") Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adventurechick 0 #43 April 21, 2006 He always said that he was "cotton picking mad" PMS #449 TPM #80 Muff Brother #3860 SCR #14705 Dirty Sanchez #233 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DirtyDon 0 #44 April 22, 2006 "Jesus H Christ" (whats the H stand for?) Howard, the H. stands for Howard. Howard be thy name. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sofa 0 #45 April 22, 2006 My Father always told me "Do as I say and not as I do" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leapdog 0 #46 April 22, 2006 My dad gave me advice when I complained to him once about my ex wife. Son- Life's a bitch, then you marry one or maybe two, then you pay taxes and you die. He is in his second marriage for close to 20 years now. Gunnery Sergeant of Marines "I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpchikk 0 #47 April 22, 2006 His advice to me always..."Marry for Money" He/She has got more of ________than Carter has liver pills....my boss also says this... Whenever we went out, he would start speaking in Japanese...used to freak me out as a kid... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
monkycndo 0 #48 April 22, 2006 Some of my Dad's favorites: That's the best thing since sliced bread. You're as useless as a one legged man at an ass kicking party.50 donations so far. Give it a try. You know you want to spank it Jump an Infinity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #49 April 24, 2006 "Aren't you putting the cart before the horse?" Having grown up with neither carts nor horses, unlike Dad, it took me years to figure out what that actually meant... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 851 #50 April 24, 2006 "Get up! You can sleep when you're dead!" "Pull my finger" "Smart Ass!" (a LOT!) "Goddamn you really fucked up this time!" "You can join any of the services you like, but if you join the Army or the Marines, you'll have to come home after dark." "Only sleep with a woman you would marry...but get all you can." - I'm still confused as hell with this one... and the best memory... "I love you" - not very often though.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
