MarkFoster 0 #1 September 6, 2005 ...as you deploy your pilot chute, due a freak upper air disturbance, the pilot chute flies around and lodges itself in your nose. The bag comes, out but no main. And the bridle wraps around your neck. Meanwhile… a passing bald eagle, seeing you chaotically flaying in an attempt to extricate and unwrap the pilot chute, determines that you’re in heat and attempts mid-air mating, but during the amorous effort, catches a claw in your reserve handle and initiates reserve deployment at about the same time your main exits the bag. Your jump partner, then swoops in close (to capture the video, not to assist) and becomes entangled in the mess of jumper, lines, claws and feathers. The eagle, getting a little pissed at your lack of response and interruption by your partner, starts pecking at your eyes. Audibles are screeching at deafening levels… then it gets weird… strange thoughts flash through your brain, like… I can’t remember where I left my car keys” and “I’ll need to cancel my dentist appointment for tomorrow”… Your partner, cameral still rolling, is screaming “far out dude”, or something about your ancestry, it’s difficult to tell which, over the audible and eagle racket. The eagle, evidently finished wants to cuddle. How would you extricate yourself from this situation?------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mailin 0 #2 September 6, 2005 Quotethen it gets weird… ummm..... ya JenArianna Frances Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
markd_nscr986 0 #3 September 6, 2005 Get the hook knife out REALLY quickMarc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #4 September 6, 2005 Between this post and your avatar, I would say that you either a.) Need to switch to decaf -or- b.) Shouldn't be playing with those substances without close supervision. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashtanga 0 #5 September 6, 2005 I would end up cuddling with the eagle. I like to cuddle and injuring/killing the bald eagle is a federal offense. What did I win? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
prepheckt 0 #6 September 6, 2005 What the hell have you been smoking? Whatever it is, share!"Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet." -9 toes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashtanga 0 #7 September 6, 2005 QuoteWhatever it is, share! I thought you were a mormon. Mormons don't partake. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #8 September 6, 2005 Simple.............cut away.............pull your reserve.........and then commence to assaulting the eagle back! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swedishcelt 0 #9 September 6, 2005 That's right! Safety first. Then violence. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #10 September 6, 2005 That very situation is thoroughly discussed in the Skydiver Information Manual... How the fuck do you rookies even survive without knowing even the BASIC procedures for handling minor situations that occur everyday?!?!? ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashtanga 0 #11 September 6, 2005 QuoteSimple.............cut away.............pull your reserve.........and then commence to assaulting the eagle back! If you would of paid attention to what you read you would see he is already under his reserve. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tink1717 2 #12 September 6, 2005 I usually wake up at that point.Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off. -The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!) AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
banjobill 0 #13 September 6, 2005 Don't extricate yoursdelf, CULTURATE yourself! (a word Jesse Jackson used this morning on the radio)....with a capital P and that rhymes with T and that spells TROUBLE!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GeordieSkydiver 0 #14 September 6, 2005 Before listening to any of this advice you should go ask your instructor.Lee _______________________________ In a world full of people, only some want to fly, is that not crazy? http://www.ukskydiver.co.uk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #15 September 6, 2005 Didn't pay attention in that FJC,didya? That was one of the first things we covered and when I got my instructor rating and throughout my FJC it's still the one thing I go over and over again-------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkFoster 0 #16 September 6, 2005 mmm... drink decaf already (well mostly sugar with a drop of decaf). ... shouldn't be persecuted for having a bad gel day.------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Diversgodown 0 #17 September 6, 2005 QuoteQuoteWhatever it is, share! I thought you were a mormon. Mormons don't partake. OOOHHHH a mormon! Do you have horns? Sorry I grew up in Sandy City, UT. It's kinda funny I can spot Mormon Missionary from a mile away... ***Glory Favors the Bold*** Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #18 September 6, 2005 Quotemmm... drink decaf already (well mostly sugar with a drop of decaf). ... shouldn't be persecuted for having a bad gel day. There is a reason that there are no pics of me on the 'com...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FrEaK_aCcIdEnT 0 #19 September 7, 2005 im still waiting for the video link ExPeCt ThE uNeXpEcTeD! DoNt MiNd ThE tYpOs, Im LaZy On CoRrEcTiOnS! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hipwrddude 0 #20 September 7, 2005 Take the red pill. You're always the starter in your own life! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cloudseeker2001 0 #21 September 7, 2005 QuoteThat very situation is thoroughly discussed in the Skydiver Information Manual... How the fuck do you rookies even survive without knowing even the BASIC procedures for handling minor situations that occur everyday?!?!? "Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance, others mean and rueful of the western dream" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkFoster 0 #22 September 7, 2005 mmm... with those procedures I believe you'd win accolades from the environmentalists and a big squishy hug from mother Gaia.------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashtanga 0 #23 September 7, 2005 QuoteI believe you'd win accolades from the environmentalists and a big squishy hug from mother Gaia. I would like to thank MarkFoster and DZ.com for this opportunity. Also a thank you to the Environmentalist and Mother Gaia. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #24 September 7, 2005 Makes me think of that song: "I Wanna Fry-up an Eagle!" Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #25 September 7, 2005 No shit...there I was....My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
