SkydiveStMarys 0 #1 March 9, 2006 I thought about posting this in the Womens Forum...but I could use a mans point of view too. Back ground.... New neighbors across the street (4 months)...Man and woman have been together for 7 yrs....not married (they consider themselves married for all intents and purposes)...three kids from a previous marriage....their kids play with my two kids...all is well there. Her "husband" works for my SO...he needed a job...My SO and her "husband" work together VERY well.....the "wife" and I are getting along quite nicely...friends...hang out together...do things with the kids together...all is well. I have found out over the past few months that she tends to have a jealous streak....she doesn't come across as having one...but I have heard via my SO, her "husband" telling him stories.... Fast forward to yesterday..... I had to run an errand for my SO...took the "husband" with me...I needed his help.....he turned to me and asked me not to "ask about him" to Karen...said "wife"....a couple of days ago he hurt his back...missed a days worth of work with my SO....I asked, the day that he returned to work, the "wife" how hubby was feeling...appparently she flew off the handle and asked "hubby" what the fuck was going on between him and I...WTF!!!???? First off...I am happy with my SO...VERY.......second...her "hubby" is not my type WHAT SO EVER, a big EEEEWWWWW!!! I was astonished to say the least...I was being friendly....neighborly....She has never said word one about me "hitting" on her "hubby" ...she doesn't come across as having low self esteem...hence the fear of him cheating on her or leaving her...She has never mentioned anything about me coming on to her "hubby" I am just dumb founded by this...I can't ask her how hes feeling...if they had a nice weekend...He asked me not to ask about him AT ALL...it makes waves...she flies off the handle....accuses him of "wanting me"....to my face she is as sweet as can be, really...I really like her...we have alot incommon...we get along famously...now this... I just don't know what to think. Any advice?? BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,447 #2 March 9, 2006 Yes. she's weird, and you should do as her husband (who has to live with her every day) requests. Really. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #3 March 9, 2006 Oh I intend to...her "husband" and my SO work together....I don't want to ruin that relationship.... Should I try and talk to her about this?? BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loves2jump2 0 #4 March 9, 2006 I would honor the Hubby request. We on the outside don’t know what really goes on behind closed doors. We could always “assume” but then that’s not right either. I would just stay away from subjects that might set her off and let things settle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #5 March 9, 2006 QuoteYes. she's weird, and you should do as her husband (who has to live with her every day) requests. Really. Wendy W. I wouldn't necessarily think she's weird. Her husband may well have told her how hot he thinks Bobbi is, and she had a reaction that was just waiting for something to trigger it. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ccowden 0 #6 March 9, 2006 Leave them alone, you home wrecker! You OBVIOUSLY are trying to get in this guys pants and split them up! J/K! I just wanted to be the first one to make you wish you HAD posted in the Womens Forum! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #7 March 9, 2006 If they are good neighbors and y'all get along well I would not get in the middle of it.We have a neighbor like this that can not stand for anyone to be around his wife when he is not home.She tends to get flirty when she drinks.I avoid going over there for any reason if he is not home. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #8 March 9, 2006 You can't scare me!!! BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #9 March 9, 2006 Like the Women's Forum, I'm not touching this one.... My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #10 March 9, 2006 You also may not know things about their past.There may be a reason she is that way. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #11 March 9, 2006 See... I don't look at it like I'm hot and he's on fire over it...He shows alot of love and care towards his wife...she isn't ugly, she is pretty....so there is no competition there. BobiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ccowden 0 #12 March 9, 2006 On the serious side... I agree with Walt. There is a GOOD possibilty that he has said things or done things to lead his "wife" to believe he is into you and now he is just trying to get you to not say anything to make it worse. He also could have lied about where he was or what he was doing to not create problems and them got caught when you asked about him, making it look REALLY bad. There are a number of possiblities here, so I wouldn't just write it off on the "wife." Bottom line, I would do as he requests, and if it is going to create tension in their relationship, you should be the one to back out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #13 March 9, 2006 Aaaah don't be afraid!! Big baby!! BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #14 March 9, 2006 So quit trying to steal her man you,you,you home wrecker. . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #15 March 9, 2006 So I shouldn't try to talk to her about this??? I mean we have talked about everything in the past....we really clicked right away...and I am just surprised by all of this...Makes me go back thru my mind and replay past conversation to see if I said anything out of line. Let me reiterate here...her husband is gross!!! Nice, but gross. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loves2jump2 0 #16 March 9, 2006 If you really feel that you need to discuss this with her, wait a few days and let things (tempers, feelings etc.) calm down. Invite her out to lunch or something like that and if it feels right then talk to her about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #17 March 9, 2006 QuoteSo I shouldn't try to talk to her about this??? Exactly!!!! Do not get in the middle of this...you will only come out as the "bad guy"...you have nothing to gain by getting involved and you have no chance of smoothing over whatever their issues are. Been there, done that and still carry the scars.... .My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyGuyIIx 0 #18 March 9, 2006 Sounds like she needs a "safety meeting" ...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #19 March 9, 2006 We've had many of those already....next idea?? BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ccowden 0 #20 March 9, 2006 I don't know, I think you might make it worse. I would just go about your business. You might sound guilty by defending things or bringing it up. And she obviously doesn't think her husband is gross, so it doesn't matter whether you really do want him or not. My guess... she is the jealous type and he didn't tell her about his little outing with you until she found out when you asked about how he was doing. Then everything he says sounds like a cover up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #21 March 9, 2006 I'd keep it casual with this woman for awhile, till things die-down. Avoid mentioning her SO. If, you want to know something about him, ask your SO... they do work together. As has been said here, she may have some 'old' issues with her SO. Either that or, you could take this to Jerry Springer! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #22 March 9, 2006 "My guess... she is the jealous type and he didn't tell her about his little outing with you until she found out when you asked about how he was doing. Then everything he says sounds like a cover up." What little outing?? The errand? That was totally work related and my SO was in my truck too....we all went...it was when my SO went into a business and we waited outside did her "hubby" turn to me and asked me not to "ask about him...how he is doing, etc" any more. The only reason why I asked how he was doing to his "wife" was because two days before he called out of work...he works for my SO...it slows my SO down work wise when he is missing a man on his crew...I was being neighborly and playing the "boss's wife" I guess. BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,447 #23 March 9, 2006 They might not even be issues with her SO; they might be left over from earlier in her life. The thing is that by having been the target once, you probably can't ask her about it. She thinks it's completely reasonable, and that any normal person would feel the same way. Talking to her about it might make her feel threatened. So you might be the very last person she can talk to about it for quite a long while. But you can talk about yourself and your husband. Nothing wrong with that, as long as she doesn't think she's the reason for the talking. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ccowden 0 #24 March 9, 2006 You are preaching to the choir here. I understand. But if he didn't tell her or he even lied about what he was doing and with whom, THEN it looks really bad when she finds out EVEN IF it was totally innocent in every sense of the word. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leapdog 0 #25 March 9, 2006 Agreed with most everyone in the thread. Leave it alone and do as the hubby asks. The reasons why she acted that way are not your business. I'm guessing there was some sort of in fidelity in thier relationship before and she just won't forgive. or maybe it;s the fact they aren't married and maybe she wants to be. What ever it is, leave it alone try to forget it and don't ask about the husband to her. It's best to just stay out of it. Gunnery Sergeant of Marines "I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
