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SkydiveStMarys

Perplexed/need advice

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"or maybe it;s the fact they aren't married and maybe she wants to be."


Aaaah here in lies the problem.....she told me when they first got together she would marry him the 7th day or the 7th month of the 7th year of them being together....welll guess what? 2007 is the 7th year AND she really isn't sure she wants to marry him...she states...be there done that, type of thing...she never thought they would last 7 yrs...thats how she came up with the whole "7 thing".

he really wants to marry her, so she says....

Bobbi
A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

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She is totally looking for a way out. And it is always easier to make someone break it off with you than to do it yourself. At least that's how alot of people think.

I would just prance around naked in your window. What will that accomplish, you may ask? Nothing. But let me know what your address is and when you are going to do it!:P


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Like I said leave it alone don't get involved. Do as the husband asked.

If you really need a reason as to why so you can move on from this event that took you by surprise, then based on what you have written, she may be looking to find a reason to split and blaming him for infidelity in the relationship is easy. It's always easier to place blame than to just stand up and be honest in that situation. Some people just can't handle taking responsibility for a break up and they create being a victim.

Or as I said before there has been cheeting in the relationship before and she won't forgive. or maybe she did it and is perinoid that he will. That coupled with the fact that they aren't married.

Some people look at a marriage as locking someone in weather they admit it or not.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

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I would just prance around naked in your window. What will that accomplish, you may ask? Nothing. But let me know what your address is and when you are going to do it!



***

I just happen to know that's how Bobbi does the house cleaning...everyday at the same time.

Therein lies the problem...
Neighbors 'wife' caught him in their front room dressed in combat boots, a pink lace thong and a viking helmet...spanking the monkey while watching Bobbi do housework through his binoculars...

How do ya think he..."Hurt his back"...
Frying pan upside the head!










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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I guess I need to learn a lesson or two...

I will find it difficult to hold my tongue and not come right out and ask her what the deal is...this is just me...I am a straight forward type of gal...If there is a problem...I am the first to try and fix it...BUT, I won't go there....

It will be hard to be friends with her...we really clicked and now I can't go "there" with her any more because this will be an invisible wall between us.

Bobbi
A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

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It will be hard to be friends with her...we really clicked



***

Then tell her you have NO interest in her hubby...

It's HER you wanna have hot monkey sex with!

That'll clear things up...quick!;)










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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They might not even be issues with her SO; they might be left over from earlier in her life. The thing is that by having been the target once, you probably can't ask her about it. She thinks it's completely reasonable, and that any normal person would feel the same way. Talking to her about it might make her feel threatened.



I'm gonna second this... very often the reason we feel certain ways is because of problems in our past. It could very well be that your neighbor was cheated on in her previous relationship and subsiquently doesn't trust her "husband" completely... it could also be the reason they aren't "committed" via marrage.

But I don't really know anything about this kind of thing first hand...

I've felt wrong about going out on a date with two different women when neither of the women I was with were "serious" relationships... just testing the water stages... :S
Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

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I guess I need to learn a lesson or two...

I will find it difficult to hold my tongue and not come right out and ask her what the deal is...this is just me...I am a straight forward type of gal...If there is a problem...I am the first to try and fix it...BUT, I won't go there....

It will be hard to be friends with her...we really clicked and now I can't go "there" with her any more because this will be an invisible wall between us.

Bobbi



Pick and choose your battles. This isn't one you should fight.

Leave the invisible wall up, you'll get used to it. and it will keep you safe, you never know what else they have in the skeleton closet.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

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"you never know what else they have in the skeleton closet."

Now theres a scary thought.....

Bobbi



Ignnorance is bliss sometimes.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

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I guess I need to learn a lesson or two...

I will find it difficult to hold my tongue and not come right out and ask her what the deal is...this is just me...I am a straight forward type of gal...If there is a problem...I am the first to try and fix it...BUT, I won't go there....



Not everything in life can be fixed. I used to be that “fix it” type of person too but through various experiences I learned that I cant “fix” everything. If you two are friends, this will all work out. When you are around her, just be yourself. Your not the one who changed, she is. If it doesn’t work out, ask yourself is that the type of friend you really want to have?

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They might not even be issues with her SO; they might be left over from earlier in her life. The thing is that by having been the target once, you probably can't ask her about it. She thinks it's completely reasonable, and that any normal person would feel the same way. Talking to her about it might make her feel threatened.

So you might be the very last person she can talk to about it for quite a long while.

But you can talk about yourself and your husband. Nothing wrong with that, as long as she doesn't think she's the reason for the talking.

Wendy W.


_________________________________

I think, you make a very good point here.


Chuck

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Just another perspective- she might not be the weird one. You haven't witnessed this behavior first hand, right? I have a very good friend who was married. She is the nicest, sweetest person imaginable, but HE for some reason told all of his co-workers that she was a jealous, abusive, hysterical shrew. They didn't know her and believed him. HE was the one with the problems, not her. He was systematically trying to cut off her support system and keep her from making any friends where he worked- that's what an abusive spouse does. There's more to it- he tolds friends (me) and family members that she had drug and alcohol problems, that kind of thing. The reason the work thing matters is that he worked at a dz, and she was also a jumper. He made sure she was unwelcome there and burned enough bridges for the both of them at his former DZ that she didn't feel she could go back there either.

Anyway, try and keep an open mind about her. There could be a lot more to the story than you will ever know!

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Just another perspective- she might not be the weird one. You haven't witnessed this behavior first hand, right? I have a very good friend who was married. She is the nicest, sweetest person imaginable, but HE for some reason told all of his co-workers that she was a jealous, abusive, hysterical shrew. They didn't know her and believed him. HE was the one with the problems, not her. He was systematically trying to cut off her support system and keep her from making any friends where he worked- that's what an abusive spouse does. There's more to it- he tolds firends (me) and family members that she had drug and alcohol problems, that kind of thing. The reason the work thing matters is that he worked at a dz, and she was also a jumper. He made sure she was unwelcome there and burned enough bridges for the both of them at his former DZ that she didn't feel she could go back there either.

Anyway, try and keep an open mind about her. There could be a lot more to the story than you will ever know!



Whoa... That's a good point... This is why I don't know anything... :S
Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

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