britboynz 0 #1 March 9, 2006 OK, its nearly the end of the week, to keep me sane till the weekend (jumping this weekend...wooo!) Lets hear em. Mine: Q: Why do women find it hard to piss on a cold winters morning? A: Well have You ever tried to peel apart a cold cheese toastie? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stumpy 284 #2 March 9, 2006 ew Never try to eat more than you can lift Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
5432154321 0 #3 March 9, 2006 Oh….. When you said “crude” joke, I was expecting something a little more tasteless. Well I have one for you, and I’m not sure where it originated. Not just anyone can pull it off, I couldn’t. Heard it from a friend of the family at a party, big SOB, 6’4” 300lbs of greasy, hairy, whop. Anyways he starts out like this, all of a sudden, out of fuckn nowhere and LOUD. [Start Andrew Dice Clay Accent] SO I’M FUCKIN THIS GUY IN THE ASS, RIGHT?…. JUST BEATIN THE HELL OUT OF IT….. I MEAN I’M PULLIN HIS HAIR, SMACKIN HIS ASS, CHOKIN THE FUCKER AND I REACH AROUND AND THE GUYS GOT A HARD ON AND I’M THINKN TO MYSELF…. WHAT A FUCKIN FAG!!! OHHHH AAAAYE… [End Andrew Dice Clay Accent] --- xenaswampjumper SPANKS THIS ASS!!! I WISH karenmeal spanked this ass too..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #4 March 9, 2006 No jokes about or references to pedophilia. None. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
2fat2fly 0 #5 March 9, 2006 You might want to delete that-check the rulesI am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leapdog 0 #6 March 9, 2006 QuoteYou might want to delete that-check the rules Yeah, pretty rough. Gunnery Sergeant of Marines "I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leapdog 0 #7 March 9, 2006 Want to screw with someones mind? Show up at an abortion clinic Picket line and ask for a coat hanger because you locked your keys in the care. How do you screw a fat chick? Roll it and roll it and roll it until you smell shit and back off one notch. These two gay guys are just about to have sex when the guy on the bottom farts. He says "Don't worry that's just a turd honking for the right of way." Gunnery Sergeant of Marines "I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor610 0 #8 March 9, 2006 These 2 condoms are walking down the street and they stop in front of a gay bar. One looks at the other and says... "Wanna go inside and get Shit-faced?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arlo 0 #9 March 9, 2006 so this family walks into a talent agency - the mother, daughter, father, son, preggo dog, and pot-bellied pig... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
soberamprat 0 #10 March 9, 2006 How do you know when a women is too fat to fuck When her panties are around her knees and her pussy is still in them http://www.swoopstudios.com/videos/videos-rex.php Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor610 0 #11 March 9, 2006 What's between Bea Arthors Nipples? Her Belly Button Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,445 #12 March 9, 2006 It could relate to extreme age in the other direction just as easily. That's what I thought. And no, I don't know what I'm doing in this thread. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor610 0 #13 March 9, 2006 So don't read this one either... What does 80 year old Pu$$y taste like? Depends.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 4 #14 March 9, 2006 Two gay guys are driving down the road, and they pass a funeral home. One of them looks at the other and says "Want to stop and have a cold one ?". This one isn't crude, but it IS the first joke I ever made up. Q: Why did the blonde factory worker order 5 dozen condoms ? A: She kept seeing signs everywhere that read "Do Not Operate Machinery Without Protection". Don"When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlkskycam 0 #15 March 9, 2006 Mating call of a blonde, "I am soooooo drunk!" Mating call if a brunette, "Has that blonde bitch left yet?" and the classic I got from Luminous, A baby seal walks into club... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rasmack 0 #16 March 9, 2006 Q: Why do German shower heads have eleven holes in them? A: Jews only have ten fingers.HF #682, Team Dirty Sanchez #227 “I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.” - Not quite Oscar Wilde... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #17 March 9, 2006 I've posted this one before, but it's the only truly tasteless joke I can think of that doesn't violate the forum rules. A gay man is feeling pretty lonely one night and heads down to the local "alternate lifestyle" establishment for drinks and a hope of getting lucky. As expected on a Tuesday night though, the place is dead. He gives up on the idea at around 11 and starts walking home. He passes a dark-ish alley and notices a shabbily dressed man sitting on the ground, leaning against a wall. He thinks, "Hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take", turns around, and approaches the man. He notices the sour smell of cheap fortified wine as he walks up to the guy and thinks he's found his "in." "Mister, I'll buy you two bottles of whatever wine you want if I can have anal sex with you," he says. The bum thinks about it and responds in a thick, somewhat slurred voice "Wellll, I spose that'd be ok, if'n we can go get it first". "Fine" says the gay man and off they go to the liquor store. Walking back from the liquor store, the wino guzzles one bottle of Thunderbird in preparation for what's in his immediate future. Finding a dark corner, he commits to the task by dropping his pants and bending over. Figuring any old ride is better than a walk, the gay man steps up, slathers some spit on himself as lube, and slides into the awaiting orifice. He starts the usual process of penetrate, withdraw...in, out...and suddenly notices a foul odor. He grabs the mans hips and, without stopping, backs him up far enough to see what's going on in the glow of the streetlights. He sees something VERY dark, the smell is worse, and he realizes with horror that his entire crotch is covered with warm, runny feces. "WHAT THE HELL?!" he yells, pulling out and backing away, gagging. The bum looks innocently back over his shoulder, bats his eyes, and asks "Whatthss wrong? Did I cum to sthoon?" Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #18 March 9, 2006 QuoteQ: Why do German shower heads have eleven holes in them? A: Jews only have ten fingers. Q: Hear about the latest German microwave? A: It seats six! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rasmack 0 #19 March 9, 2006 QuoteQuoteQ: Why do German shower heads have eleven holes in them? A: Jews only have ten fingers. Q: Hear about the latest German microwave? A: It seats six! Walt Hey! I resent that! My grandfather died in a concentration camp... He fell down from one of the guard towers. HF #682, Team Dirty Sanchez #227 “I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.” - Not quite Oscar Wilde... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #20 March 9, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuoteQ: Why do German shower heads have eleven holes in them? A: Jews only have ten fingers. Q: Hear about the latest German microwave? A: It seats six! Walt Hey! I resent that! My grandfather died in a concentration camp... He fell down from one of the guard towers. Oh, that is bad!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sneaky 0 #21 March 9, 2006 thats great I love ADC!! Ford Fairlain was a classic Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheBachelor 5 #22 March 9, 2006 Q. Two gay guys are having sex, and they both die. Which one gets to heaven first? A. They guy on the bottom since he's already got his shit packed!There are battered women? I've been eating 'em plain all of these years... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
