Threesomes, jealously, and confusion...oh my

[happythoughts 0]

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What should I do to make sure my Left doesn't feel neglected??

Lay on your arm until it goes numb. Then it feels like someone elses hand.

[happythoughts 0]

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If you respect them, cherish the time you have together, treat them as your equal you will never be alone.

This assumes:

- All women have the same personalities.
- All women want sex in the context of a relationship.
- That women are not using the men for their own physical needs.

Yep, there is more than a few women who like a good physical romp for no other reason than it is fun. Nobody is using or offending anyone. Just consensual adult boinking.

[Icon134 0]

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Yep, there is more than a few women who like a good physical romp for no other reason than it is fun. Nobody is using or offending anyone.

This is only true if the guy doesn't feel used.

I don't like the idea of being used for sex... but alas I'm a hopeless romantic

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[anonymous100 0]

I can't thank everyone enough for the kind posts and PMs. After lots of reading what everyone said and lots of self reflection, I finally decided to just tell my SO basically exactly what I have said on here.

I do regret some of my actions in the past, but in no way will I ever regret being honest with the man I love. After all, if he can't accept me for all of my flaws, then he's not the man for me anyway, right? Some men may not want to hear the truth, but that's not the kind of man I want to be with.

As for not respecting myself, the truth is that around the time this happened (which 7 years ago...when I was really young) I had absolutely no respect for myself at all. BUT that's not why I had a threesome. This suggests that anyone who ever has some crazy sex adventure doesn't have any self-respect...and, well, that's just quite frankly ignorant. I had a threesome because I thought it would be a lot of fun. I wasn't pressured into it, in fact it was my idea. I don't feel like something I did 7 years ago should have a bearing on my current relationship...just as I wouldn't hold something he did 7 years ago against him. The truth is that people do change. Some pretty major things have happened in my life over the past several years that have completely changed who I am (especially sexually). As a very wise person once told me...that was then, this is now.
Anyway back to the results. In the end, communication is key. Who would have thought? I've received several great PMs with some really wonderful advice and insight. I finally realized that the most important thing here is that I just don't want to have a threesome. I don't want to share him, just as he doesn't want to share me. That's great that some people can have group sex and have a great time and be completely happy with it...but that's just not me. I decided if he can't accept that, then maybe he isn't the man for me. My ultimate fantasy is, as some others have said, to share a deep connection with someone who really loves me, and who I really love too. I want someone who shares that same fantasy...even though men like that are obviously few and far between.

I told him all of this. I tried to put him in my shoes and make him think about what he would feel like if we had a threesome with another man and how he would feel watching me with another man. I guess that hit home. He realized that since he doesn't really care about the threesome, and that it's actually just my past that he cares about...we should work on doing something that doesn't hurt one of us (or our relationship) if he still needs something to make him feel better around it. I guess he started to realize how much I must care about him if this was on my mind so much.

And thus, problem solved. All he really needed to know was that he hasn't been "outdone" in my mind. In the end, he's so glad that I talked to him about and didn't just try to "get over it and do it". He doesn't want to do it anymore. He realizes that in my mind, he is the perfect man and he is absolutely ALL I want or need.

Thank you all again. It's so stupid...this has been burdening me for months now. All I needed was for someone to echo what my heart was already screaming at me, and after enough of that I finally came to my senses. You all have helped me so tremendously.

[jerm 0]

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Oh sorry, I was in the bathroom PEEING. OUT OF MY VAGINA again.

*taps you on the shoulder & whispers so as not to publicly humiliate you with a guy telling you how the female body works*

girls pee from their urethras, not their vaginas. They're close together, but not the same place :-P

Landing without injury is not necessarily evidence that you didn't fuck up... it just means you got away with it this time

[jerm 0]

well done! and crongratulations both for sticking to your morals and having a guy who in the end was really willing to listen and empathise with you about the whole thing.

now, as for what you should do together... go get a strap-on and make sure you take a picture of his face when you present it to him

Landing without injury is not necessarily evidence that you didn't fuck up... it just means you got away with it this time

[livendive 8]

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If you respect them, cherish the time you have together, treat them as your equal you will never be alone. They will be with you always, even when they aren't physically with you....

Not true for a wide variety of reasons. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't respect them, treat them as equals, and cherish the time you spend together (assuming it merits it), but there is much more involved in establishing and maintaining a strong, fulfilling relationship than those three things.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[bob.dino 1]

Nice

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[Broke 0]

I have been used for sex. While the idea is cool and all. I really wanted a relationship with this chick, and it never materialized. I thought that some really good sex would make her see the light, but alas that didn't work.

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[happythoughts 0]

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All he really needed to know was that he hasn't been "outdone" in my mind.

The way to a mans heart is through his ego.

Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship. Once you get past that, you're in. Master the essential skill of lying.

As a guy, there is nothing better than a woman snuggling up to me, kissing my neck, and seductively telling me, "NO MAN has EVER made me feel like that".

Sure, we all know it's not the truth, but it's ok.

[anonymous100 0]

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now, as for what you should do together... go get a strap-on and make sure you take a picture of his face when you present it to him

Absolutely fabulous idea!

[livendive 8]

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I have been used for sex. While the idea is cool and all. I really wanted a relationship with this chick, and it never materialized. I thought that some really good sex would make her see the light, but alas that didn't work.

Ditto, but include flowers, good meals, and other romantic gestures that all women supposedly want in addition to "some really good sex". There are a lot of myths being presented as absolute truths in this thread. The male fascination with threesomes is one of them. Sure, they can be fun, but they can also be very hurtful, and, quite frankly, way more trouble than they're worth. Similarly, being guys doesn't mean it's impossible for us to want more than sex from a woman who doesn't want more than sex from us.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Broke 0]

I don't think I could do a threesome... Too much to pay attention to.

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[livendive 8]

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I don't think I could do a threesome... Too much to pay attention to.

Mostly agreed. That can be a problem but it doesn't absolutely have to be. I wouldn't say no under just the right circumstances, but I would if things were anything other than perfect. Either way it's no longer something I'd actively seek out.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[waltappel 1]

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I have been used for sex. While the idea is cool and all. I really wanted a relationship with this chick, and it never materialized. I thought that some really good sex would make her see the light, but alas that didn't work.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyit--I'm thinkin' that getting used for some sex every now and then would be kind of ok!

Walt

[jerm 0]

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Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyit--I'm thinkin' that getting used for some sex every now and then would be kind of ok!

it's great, so long as that's what you're into at the time

the problem is when, as he said, you're really into the girl and want more but can't have it

Landing without injury is not necessarily evidence that you didn't fuck up... it just means you got away with it this time

[waltappel 1]

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Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyit--I'm thinkin' that getting used for some sex every now and then would be kind of ok!

it's great, so long as that's what you're into at the time

the problem is when, as he said, you're really into the girl and want more but can't have it

I absolutely agree with you, but having neither for a while makes one out of two seem like an ok thing!

Walt

[cloudseeker2001 0]

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The 'threesome' is the Holy Grail for the male race. Any guy that says he wouldn't want two women at the same time is a liar (or gay).

Now this statement isn't ignorant. Excuse me, but I happen to know plenty of heterosexual males that would be completely grossed out by the idea of a threesome. Just because a majority of people don't think there's anything wrong with a threesome, doesn't mean those that think a threesome is immoral are gay.

( ooouu, let's see the flaming I get for this one!!! )

Wait, this is starting to freak me out! My guy doesn't want to have a threesome with me and another girl! What if he's gay? I'd better force him to just to make sure.

"Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance,
others mean and rueful of the western dream"

[Remster 30]

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taps you on the shoulder & whispers so as not to publicly humiliate you with a guy telling you how the female body works

Jerm: WOOOOSH!

Remster

[jerm 0]

i can be pedantic if i want to, damnit!

Landing without injury is not necessarily evidence that you didn't fuck up... it just means you got away with it this time

[Icon134 0]

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... but having neither for a while makes one out of two seem like an ok thing!

is 31+ years a while... (of course you *know* what you're missing... I don't... )

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[waltappel 1]

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... but having neither for a while makes one out of two seem like an ok thing!

is 31+ years a while... (of course you *know* what you're missing... I don't... )

31+ years is more than an while, my friend. THAT is eternity!

There are a lot of really amazing women around here. Who knows? You may actually deserve to have one of them in your life.

While I'm on the topic, one thing that really amazes me about many of the women here is that even after I have posted some of the most ridiculous experiences of my life in a way that was *not* flattering to me, well they seem to accept me for who I am.

They probably would not want to live in the same zip code as me, but they're still very accepting.

If you really put a raw piece of yourself out here for the whole world to see, it's scary and can even get you beat up pretty bad sometimes, but you might be surprised and find that someone thinks you're ok.

So how about doing that? Post a story of something funny, interesting, or just plain off-the-wall? Something that has made you who you are. I'll edit it if you want.

There are some really incredible people around here and you might actually be one of them. How about giving us the opportunity to find out?

Walt

[thegreekone 0]

Sit down for a nice movie together. Chasing Amy would be my suggestion.

Then beat the stupid out of him with a crowbar.

[Girlfalldown 0]

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Oh sorry, I was in the bathroom PEEING. OUT OF MY VAGINA again.

*taps you on the shoulder & whispers so as not to publicly humiliate you with a guy telling you how the female body works*

girls pee from their urethras, not their vaginas. They're close together, but not the same place :-P

Thank you for that lesson in anatomy.

(It just wouldn't have grossed jeiber out as much if I said I was peeing out of my urethra and that's what I was going for.)

--------------

(Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

[jerm 0]

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Thank you for that lesson in anatomy.

(It just wouldn't have grossed jeiber out as much if I said I was peeing out of my urethra and that's what I was going for.)

i hoped that was it... you'd be surprised (ok.. maybe you woulnd't) how many people know very little about themselves.

as far as grossing jeiber out.... you should have peed from your vagina then ended up wiping red

Landing without injury is not necessarily evidence that you didn't fuck up... it just means you got away with it this time