Was I too hard on my roomate?

[Snowwhite 0]

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Definitely insist that she pay rent and her portion of the bills in cash.

If you haven't already, I'd suggest calling your landlord immediately and letting her know the situation. She's likely to be much less upset if she finds out the check's going to bounce from you instead of from her bank.

Exactly, otherwise you are doing to your landlady, exactly what was done to you.

When I have a question about the validity of an instrument (that's techy for "is the check good") I call the bank and ask.
The next time she writes you a check, pick up the phone, call her bank and ASK. It means you don't get the charge, you can do it right in front of her, and she gets the point, which is "your money isn't real until the bank tells me it is"
It's embarrassing, and she won't want to be embarrassed again.
I have done this in front of customers of mine, and BINGO no more bad checks.

skydiveTaylorville.org
freefallbeth@yahoo.com

[unformed 0]

to hell with calling the bank .... CASH only or get out .... actually, even better would be, cash only, a month in advance.

This ad space for sale.

[RhondaLea 4]

You need to find a new roommate, and she needs to find a new place to live.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[Douva 0]

If the three of you are leasing together, you're basically investment partners, so I suggest handling the matter firmly but professionally. Make sure she understands the ramifications on everybody of being fiscally irresponsible. Make sure she understand there may be consequences if this pattern continues. But don't use profanity, yell, or take any other unprofessional action. That way, no reasonable person can try to turn this issue around and make you the bad guy.

I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

[stoneycase 0]

agreed, 100%. if for no other reason than i know she does not share my strong feelings about responsibility in finances. it is the right thing to do for me, and for her. i'll go about that in a way that makes that clear, and doesn't make her feel bad. well, i'll try at least.

update for anyone who's interested (read: bored at work): came home quite calm to an empty house with a note and a receipt. after her class, she deposited cash to cover her portion of rent and the fee that was auto-deducted from my checking account. i contacted the landlady (vm again): funds are in and are available. so sorry. please call me back, i'd like to make sure we cover any additional fees or fines right away.

2 things i've learned:
1 - i have an extremely short fuse when it comes to money (whether that's good/bad/indiff is up for debate)
2 - dz.com is a rather decent place to solicit advice from other "real" people (i mean, folks of all shapes/sizes/types. people that are real and live in the real world)

so thanks for walkin in my shoes for an afternoon. i'll try not to let that happen again...blues!

[Guest 1010]

ya'll get too worked up over money. If she pays all the late fees, and cash from now on, no use resorting to lawyer letters OMFG sheesh! Chill out, she made a mistake, move on. Money doesn't have the same meaning for everyone. She did nothing here with malice. If you yelled at her the way it sounds like you did, my counsel to her would be to move out. (okay, yes, good to see you are chilling out .. you need to apologize to her, and she to you, and move on ... and drink some [wine] . )

You can have it good, fast, or cheap: pick two.

[bob.dino 1]

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1 - i have an extremely short fuse when it comes to money (whether that's good/bad/indiff is up for debate)

I was just about to suggest you chill out a little. Good to see you realise your fuse is a little on the short side when it comes to things like this; it could save you problems in the future.

My take: She made a couple of mistakes with money. She's not used to having money be a item of consequence. Now she realises that it is and has apologised and corrected her mistake. If you want to reinforce her good behaviour, thank her for sorting things out. Maybe buy a bottle of wine, cook dinner, and fuck her senseless*.


* just for you, lm.

[piisfish 140]

But you didn't say.. Is she hot ??

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[comslayer 0]

Throw the bitch out!!!! She has no respect for you or your roommate and this will continue until she really screws you out of a large some of money. I have been through a similiar situation and got stiffed for a $330 phone bill. Cut your losses now and get rid of her.

[davelepka 4]

Have you considered getting a security deposit? maybe one months rent.

Provided you are responsible, keep the 725 in your account and use it only when she is short on rent to make the check clear.

She'll get it back when she moves out, and all financial obligations have been met. This is pretty standard practice on a lease, and in this case, you are acting as the 'landlord' of the property.

Your actual landlady is using your rent money to pay the mortgage on the house, and has a security deposit to cover that. You'd be doing the same thing, just one step further down the line.

A security deposit is first security that you'll pay the rent, and then becomes security for the condiditon you leave the property in.

[Tink1717 2]

When a tenant bounces a check to me, that person has to find a new place to live. No exceptions, no excuses, no second chances. I simply do not tolerate financial shenanigans.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[SarahC07 0]

Here is my take on it. I'm a 20 year old full-time college student living 'half-way' off of mom and dad. I work part time. I however, have never ever written a hot check , but I have had a roommate do it to me once.

I handle all the bills in the house. The rent, the utilites and the cable internet/tv. Our lease is formatted similar to yours. I write the check to the management company, after I get a check from all of my roommates, just like you.

First, I don't ever ever talk to my roommates when I'm really pissed off. It creates tension and hurt feelings... of course, I live with 2 others girls... so it's a bit different. Yelling, imo... never really accomplish much except for establishing in a very harsh manner how truly pissed off you are. it can be done calmly as well.

Second, make her pay for all of the fees you incurred. Anything YOUR bank charges you for HER mistake. IMO, that is fair.

It's a mistake ... once. The second time, its her ass.

[SarahC07 0]

After reading all of the replies... people are incredibly harsh.

Also, if you go to her parents for the money... she is certainly going to have hostile feelings towards you. If you don't mind that, then whatever. She's going to think you're treating her like a child... and if you circumvent her... well, you are treating her like one.

It was 2 bills. Cox doesn't charge a fee for being late on the bill, I don't believe. At least in Texas they don't.

Of course, i say all this and I'm not sure you said what happens when your rent is late. If that results in a serious problem, then things might be different. But my experience with renting is that you usually have a 2 day grace period before they start charging you more money.

For heaven's sake... I'm 20. And I'm aware of my finances and I've never been 100% financially independent.

Maybe I'm just too nice.

[Viking 0]

hell no dude i'd get pissed off too!! make that stuck up biotch pay up!!

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin

[Elisha 1]

2175 for a 3Bd? Do you live on Del Playa or something? I grew up in Goleta and went to Dos Pueblos High School (the REAL DP).

Btw, will Skydive Santa Barbara be open on Presidents Day (a Monday holiday)?