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waltappel

Yet another item on my long list of social blunders

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I was sitting around recently, my mind wallowing in the gutter like usual, when I got an e-mail from a very dear woman friend.

"Hey Walt, do you like candles and Leather?"

Why, oh why did my filthy mind immediately think of S&M?!!!! I don't even like S&M!!! I am sooooooooo not into pain!

Without any hesitation, though, here was my response:

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"If you're talking about dripping candle wax, I've never tried that because my own skin is kind of sensitive and I've never really caught on to the leather thing.

The whole idea of getting naked with you on a cool leather couch really turns me on, though.

If you would be willing to explain the candle thing and leather to me, you'll have my undivided attention.

Be forewarned, though. If you do explain it I will probably want to come over and do every nasty thing that you could ever possibly want me to do to you. "


Now I should explain that the woman who sent the e-mail really is a friend. We've never had a relationship other than friends, and I doubt we ever will. She really is a hottie though, and unfortunately she had caught me at exactly the wrong time.

Unless you are a filthy little worm like me, I don't have to tell you what came next.

"Walt, I was talking about decorating ideas."

D'oh!!!!

I'm now convinced that there is a special place in hell for people like me.

Walt

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Dayum! What you told her, would've been my 'first' response! Sheesh... how do you figure women?
Let's face it. Candles and leather definately conjure-up 'thoughts' in a guy. Just like a woman, to be thinking of 'decorating'!
It's like making love to a woman and you're really gettin' into it and she says; "Blue... I'll paint the cieling... blue!":S


Chuck

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She either secretly wants you, or she's just really into fucking with your head (and why not? it's fun, i'm sure), because there's no way she didn't know exactly what she was saying.

I say offer to help her decorate, and then when you get to her place, just whip it out and see what happens. I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Then post what happens here for all of our voyeuristic entertainment. :P

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Dayum! What you told her, would've been my 'first' response! Sheesh... how do you figure women?
Let's face it. Candles and leather definately conjure-up 'thoughts' in a guy. Just like a woman, to be thinking of 'decorating'!
It's like making love to a woman and you're really gettin' into it and she says; "Blue... I'll paint the cieling... blue!":S


Chuck



No, the part I left out is that unlike me, this woman really has dignity and class. We're talkin' waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of my league! I am very sure that she was not thinking in any kind of sexual terms when she asked me that.

I knew beforehand that she was not a dirty-minded little cretin like me. That's why I felt really slimy when I realized what she was really talking about.:$

Oh well. Live and learn.

Walt

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She either secretly wants you, or she's just really into fucking with your head (and why not? it's fun, i'm sure), because there's no way she didn't know exactly what she was saying.

I say offer to help her decorate, and then when you get to her place, just whip it out and see what happens. I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Then post what happens here for all of our voyeuristic entertainment. :P



Secretly wants me?!!! OMG no!

Fucking with my head? Well, yeah, I could see that as a possibility. After all, I really am an easy target for that.

No, there is *no way* that I am going to allow my inner perv to come out around her. I felt so bad when I realized what she was really asking that I'm sure that I will be very red-faced next time I see her.

I'm kind of hoping that she'll just forget it happened.:$

Walt

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"Walt, I was talking about decorating ideas."

D'oh!!!!

I'm now convinced that there is a special place in hell for people like me.

Walt



Bullshit!!!! Walt, she was talking about sex!!!! You call her right now and assist her in the candle and leather selection...;)
Some day I will have the best staff in the world!!!

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"Walt, I was talking about decorating ideas."

D'oh!!!!

I'm now convinced that there is a special place in hell for people like me.

Walt



Bullshit!!!! Walt, she was talking about sex!!!! You call her right now and assist her in the candle and leather selection...;)



Only in my very finest dreams, I'm afraid.

Walt

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I think most people would have come to the same conclusion you did. Chances are, she's more embarrassed than you, if she was really talking about decorating. Just send her an email back saying "then forget I said anything" and you can both ignore it.



Thankyou. I sent her a *very* embarrassed apology afterwards. I think it bothered me a lot more than it did her.

Walt

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