StreetScooby 5 #51 December 17, 2005 100 million sperm, and yours was the fastest?We are all engines of karma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #52 December 17, 2005 Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date. You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control. Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in? Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice... Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured. I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper? Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma. You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl1 0 #53 December 17, 2005 Well it's closing time and your still ugly...Thats another myth dispelled.Fly like a girl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCrowley 0 #54 December 17, 2005 Reminds me of a line attributed to Winston Churchill - Woman: You, sir are drunk! Churchill: And tomorrow I shall be sober, but you will be ugly for the rest of your life. Woman: If I were your wife I would poison your tea. Churchill: If you were my wife I'd drink it! TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #55 December 17, 2005 Tell yo' momma to quit changing her lipstick. I'm gettin' rainbows on my dick. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PsychoBob 0 #56 December 18, 2005 ***Woman: You, sir are drunk! Churchill: And tomorrow I shall be sober, but you will be ugly for the rest of your life. Quote BWAAHAAA!!! You gotta love Churchill. He was a fiesty old chap."I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it" RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites shropshire 0 #57 December 18, 2005 Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of Elderberries! I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along. -Groucho Marx . (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites FlyinNover 0 #58 December 31, 2005 QuoteYo mama so fat... Your momma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Your momma's so fat.......DAMN that bitch is fat! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Richards 0 #59 December 31, 2005 You blow for busfare and still walk home. Richards My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites peacefuljeffrey 0 #60 December 31, 2005 You're stupid enough to be two people. -Jeffrey-Jeffrey "With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites rasmack 0 #61 December 31, 2005 For the ladies a sad look and a Shakespeare quote: "Frailty, thy name is woman." You usually need to run very fast after that one. Happy new year! HF #682, Team Dirty Sanchez #227 “I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.” - Not quite Oscar Wilde... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites leroydb 0 #62 December 31, 2005 your momma's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said "to be continued"Leroy ..I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Plucky 0 #63 December 31, 2005 Go home - your village is missing it's idiot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites rsein 0 #64 December 31, 2005 Your momma's so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch. HISPA #5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wojoe 0 #65 December 31, 2005 Every once in while you should look at yourself and just laugh- Everyone else does! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Nightwing 0 #66 January 1, 2006 Or.... Yo mama's so fat, I was paging through the layers of fat until I smelt shit, then paged back one!!! Drags me down, like some sweet gravity... Nightwing has stirred, and taken to flight...the silence is over, he's shattered the night!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Mickochet 0 #67 January 1, 2006 How many times do I have to flush before you go away?If you never fall down you aren't trying hard enough. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites apley 0 #68 January 2, 2006 yo mommo's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs! my second favorite is a visual... attached the angry hobbit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites rs2kmk5 0 #69 January 2, 2006 What a great question...here's some of my favourites "Did your parents have any children that survived?" That's kinda special, or how about: "Your so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece" Or even "It looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's arse, and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress" Credit all of these to the first 5 minutes of Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket - Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann Out of 10,000 feet of fall, always remember that the last half inch hurts the most — Captain Charles W. Purcell, 1932 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites yamtx73 0 #70 January 2, 2006 "Did you get that porthole installed yet? I'm sure you did since you have your head shoved that far up your ass..."The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites EDYDO 0 #71 January 3, 2006 Mine You are so ugly that when you cry, the tears run down the back of your head to keep from running across your face. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lawrocket 3 #72 January 3, 2006 Many of my favorites come from the Tube Bar recordings: "Yeah, Red. I just wanted to let you know we dug your mother up and fucked her - her skeleton." "Listen you motherfucker cocksucker. You'd pork your own mother for a nickle, you sonofabitch." "Your mother sucked my prick de udder day. So why don't you come down here and suck it yourself." "I'll put the zee-zee on both cheeks of your life." "I'll cut your belly open and show you all the black stuff you got in there." "You yellow rat bastard." There are tons more. And if you've never heard the Tube Bar recordings, you gotta listen to Red's voice. Go here and click on "The Legendary Tube Bar Recordings" near the bottom for but a sample of them. It's the funniest stuff I've ever heard. http://www.stolen.la/fun/7/Tube_Bar My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ripcord4 0 #73 January 3, 2006 You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Islets of Langerhans. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into a hostile world. You are an insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done. They were a bit late. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention that you smell? You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get your dog to play with you. You think P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer who ever lived. You prefer L. Ron Hubbard to Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Hee-Haw is too deep for you. You would watch test patterns all day if the other inmates would let you. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are so clueless that if we stripped you naked, soaked you in clue musk, and dropped you into a field full of horny clues, You still would not have a clue. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and Generally Not Good Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites BillyVance 34 #74 January 3, 2006 Damn... You said just about every offensive word or phrase there is in the book! I'll just stick to calling Auburn U. that "cow college down there"... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Mikki_ZH 0 #75 January 3, 2006 Rather then to fuck you, I would stick my dick in a mouse hole and wait for the next earthquake…Michi (#1068) hsbc/gba/sba www.swissbaseassociation.ch www.michibase.ch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 Next Page 3 of 4 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. 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shropshire 0 #57 December 18, 2005 Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of Elderberries! I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along. -Groucho Marx . (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlyinNover 0 #58 December 31, 2005 QuoteYo mama so fat... Your momma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Your momma's so fat.......DAMN that bitch is fat! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Richards 0 #59 December 31, 2005 You blow for busfare and still walk home. Richards My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peacefuljeffrey 0 #60 December 31, 2005 You're stupid enough to be two people. -Jeffrey-Jeffrey "With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rasmack 0 #61 December 31, 2005 For the ladies a sad look and a Shakespeare quote: "Frailty, thy name is woman." You usually need to run very fast after that one. Happy new year! HF #682, Team Dirty Sanchez #227 “I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.” - Not quite Oscar Wilde... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leroydb 0 #62 December 31, 2005 your momma's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said "to be continued"Leroy ..I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Plucky 0 #63 December 31, 2005 Go home - your village is missing it's idiot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rsein 0 #64 December 31, 2005 Your momma's so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch. HISPA #5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wojoe 0 #65 December 31, 2005 Every once in while you should look at yourself and just laugh- Everyone else does! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightwing 0 #66 January 1, 2006 Or.... Yo mama's so fat, I was paging through the layers of fat until I smelt shit, then paged back one!!! Drags me down, like some sweet gravity... Nightwing has stirred, and taken to flight...the silence is over, he's shattered the night!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mickochet 0 #67 January 1, 2006 How many times do I have to flush before you go away?If you never fall down you aren't trying hard enough. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
apley 0 #68 January 2, 2006 yo mommo's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs! my second favorite is a visual... attached the angry hobbit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rs2kmk5 0 #69 January 2, 2006 What a great question...here's some of my favourites "Did your parents have any children that survived?" That's kinda special, or how about: "Your so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece" Or even "It looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's arse, and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress" Credit all of these to the first 5 minutes of Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket - Gunnery Sergeant Hartmann Out of 10,000 feet of fall, always remember that the last half inch hurts the most — Captain Charles W. Purcell, 1932 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #70 January 2, 2006 "Did you get that porthole installed yet? I'm sure you did since you have your head shoved that far up your ass..."The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EDYDO 0 #71 January 3, 2006 Mine You are so ugly that when you cry, the tears run down the back of your head to keep from running across your face. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #72 January 3, 2006 Many of my favorites come from the Tube Bar recordings: "Yeah, Red. I just wanted to let you know we dug your mother up and fucked her - her skeleton." "Listen you motherfucker cocksucker. You'd pork your own mother for a nickle, you sonofabitch." "Your mother sucked my prick de udder day. So why don't you come down here and suck it yourself." "I'll put the zee-zee on both cheeks of your life." "I'll cut your belly open and show you all the black stuff you got in there." "You yellow rat bastard." There are tons more. And if you've never heard the Tube Bar recordings, you gotta listen to Red's voice. Go here and click on "The Legendary Tube Bar Recordings" near the bottom for but a sample of them. It's the funniest stuff I've ever heard. http://www.stolen.la/fun/7/Tube_Bar My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ripcord4 0 #73 January 3, 2006 You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Islets of Langerhans. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into a hostile world. You are an insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done. They were a bit late. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention that you smell? You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a puerile slack-jawed drooling meatslapper. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get your dog to play with you. You think P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer who ever lived. You prefer L. Ron Hubbard to Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Hee-Haw is too deep for you. You would watch test patterns all day if the other inmates would let you. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are so clueless that if we stripped you naked, soaked you in clue musk, and dropped you into a field full of horny clues, You still would not have a clue. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and Generally Not Good Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #74 January 3, 2006 Damn... You said just about every offensive word or phrase there is in the book! I'll just stick to calling Auburn U. that "cow college down there"... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mikki_ZH 0 #75 January 3, 2006 Rather then to fuck you, I would stick my dick in a mouse hole and wait for the next earthquake…Michi (#1068) hsbc/gba/sba www.swissbaseassociation.ch www.michibase.ch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
