aggie04 0 #1 December 17, 2005 I was thinking today, who decided that kids arent "supposed" to die before their parents. I mean who decided that you haven't lived your life if you die young? I was listening to the radio and they were doing a deal to raise money for kids with cancer and the lady made the comment that this is for kids and kids aren't supposed to get cancer and kids are supposed to die. I disagreed because I think tons of those kids have lived far more than a lot of adults. They are far wiser and know themselves better. I don't mean to sound harsh but who says it isn't supposed to happen. Just thinking. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A life without a cause is a life without an effect Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #2 December 17, 2005 -Not a mom, are ya? ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #3 December 17, 2005 Only a person who isnt a parent could think that... my children are my life and if I were to lose even one of them I dont know if I could go on... Loving kids is truely the only unconditional love I have ever felt... not like that fake unconditional love people feign about on dz.com but true deep down would die and kill for love...Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #4 December 17, 2005 What Jaye and Lisa said. If someone said to me right now: "It's you or your daughter, I wouldn't even have to think about it." rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #5 December 17, 2005 Who said death was a bad thing ? It might be the greatest thing ever.That's right Jim West, I'm bizzare. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #6 December 17, 2005 Right on, RL. Same goes for the dads. Becoming a parent for the 1st time permanently re-hardwires your brain in a way unimaginable until you actually experience it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aggie04 0 #7 December 17, 2005 ok maybe i didnt express what i meant to say. I completely understand...not from the standpoint as a parent but as someone who works with special needs kids...i would give my life for them and they arent mine. Im saying who says kids havent lived yet. I see so many kids who are more alive and have lived more than many adults. What makes dying young so much more depressing to people than dying old? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A life without a cause is a life without an effect Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
josheezammit 0 #8 December 17, 2005 i hear if you can be labeled as a midget or "little person" accidently, then this is a rule that might apply to you, soo i think you might need to take heed....... HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH Ahh, what a wonderful world. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #9 December 17, 2005 Quote Who said death was a bad thing ? It might be the greatest thing ever. That's right Jim West, I'm bizzare. You may very well be right. But it's going to come soon enough. There's no need to rush. As for the question, there's so much more of life to experience as you get older. So much to learn. So much to do and to feel. You don't realize that when you're young. But you will. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #10 December 17, 2005 Quotei hear if you can be labeled as a midget or "little person" accidently, then this is a rule that might apply to you, soo i think you might need to take heed....... HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH i thought that only applied to sales tax on cars... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #11 December 17, 2005 I already realize that on a daily basis. That's why i find you so attractive in many ways. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #12 December 17, 2005 okay, I see what your saying, but as a adult I realize now that there are things that I have expierenced that a child cant, at least not in the same way... heres a sample of many great life experiences that a child cant no matter how much they "live" while in their youth... Love... a childs love or crush is completley different then the love that grows like a mold... forever present ... wow isnt that romantic? Marriage... yea it sucks but still its a great experience until the marriage is over... Adult emotions and logic Drugs and drinking Travel alone Feeling free time The biggest reason a child has not lived as much as an adult is their lack of time... I would much rather die from cancer then a child ... I would much rather be mauled to death by a miniture pinscher then for a child to die peacefully in his sleep...Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micro 0 #13 December 17, 2005 not directed specifically at you LMW, or RL, but as you all know, having 4 kids myself, and having a wife w/ a chronic, debilitating disease, I've often wondered, what would I do if one of my children came down w/ such a condition? I don't know how I'd cope. At least I know my wife has fulfilled most of her life dreams (becoming a teacher, mother, marrying her true love *moi* , doing a tandem, seeing the Pope, etc.) It is still heartbreaking to see my wife's health slowly deteriorate, but to see it happen to a young child, so full of hope and promise, with so many visions and dreams, is especially tragic. my wife comes from an especially large family. one of her aunts had a son who was killed in a car accident. another close friend of her family had a grade school daughter who was playing in the woods. a tree limb fell, hitting her in the head, killing her. when you see the parents of both these kids, there's something... different... about them... a stoicism, a... a... something. I can't put my finger on it. it's like part of their soul has died and cannot be revived. I pray it never happens to me or any of you to have your children pass before you do. I miss Lee. And JP. And Chris. And... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
morningdove831 0 #14 December 17, 2005 Sinker, I couldn't agree with you more! I have a little boy who will turn 3 at the end of this month, and he is my life. I would die inside if something ever happened to him. Last week he was in the hospital with pneumonia and seeing how listless and sick he was literally hurt inside. If I were to lose him, I think I, too, would die. One who looks for a friend without faults will have none. -- Hasidic Saying Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluskidave 0 #15 December 17, 2005 My son just enlisted inthe U.S. Army and I pray that the crap in Iraq and Afganistan is over before he gets to the point of deployment.I've asked him about the big one and he said if it's his time then so be it.Say's he is not afraid of death.I used to think the same but every time I cut away and that beautiful reserve opens I thank God for another chance. Blue Skies, Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #16 December 17, 2005 Death always sucks, even though the joke is "Death is the best, that's why they save it for last." I'm definitely in the second half of my life, and I will forever rage against the dying of the light. With a child, even though they may be mature, and may have experienced things beyond their years, they deserve more. They deserve health and adulthood and all the experiences that go with it, and simply years of being. Unfortunately some do pass way too young. Amen to parenthood rewiring a person. One of the most powerful things I've ever experienced. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NlghtJumper 0 #17 December 17, 2005 QuoteMy son just enlisted inthe U.S. Army and I pray that the crap in Iraq and Afganistan is over before he gets to the point of deployment As a soldier in the Army currently deployed, I am sorry to tell you that the deployments are long from over. We are at the point where the "big fighting" is over, but the rebuilding stage will continue for at least 4 more years. The countries themselves are becoming too relient on us being here. QuoteI've asked him about the big one and he said if it's his time then so be it.Say's he is not afraid of death We all say this. Its a kind of way to help push us thru the times where we truely think we are going to die. We can claim to not be afraid and keep on with the mission. But the reality is, most who say it, really are in one way or another. Not so much for ourselves, but for those back home who rely on us so much to make it home safely. As for this thread, I dont have any kids, but I know that I would gladly take the bullet for any of my family, or my fellow soldiers. You never know what they may be capable of doing as long as they are alive. I know where I am going in life, and I am absoultly sure, beyond the shaddow of any doubt, than they are all capable of doing great things. I dont know what I would do if I knew that there was something I could have done to make sure that they made it home to their families... A man will do anything for the right woman, and when that woman destroys him, that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites aggie04 0 #18 December 17, 2005 good responses everyone. I am in no way saying I would rather a child die than myself. I agree that it is easier (not that it is ever easy) to say goodbye to a loved one who lived a long life. I just wanted to know peoples thoughts on why. And I see that everyone agrees that they are sad for that child because they didn't get to live a long life and do the things we cherish such as love, marry, etc. I guess the blessing there is most children who I have met who have cancer don't think about those things. They aren't sad because of what they won't experience. That is why I wondered why it makes us so sad. Just a little sidenote: my dream someday is to work with children who have cancer, so just because I am not a parent doesn't mean my heart does not go out to each and every child in this world who is hurting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A life without a cause is a life without an effect Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites aggie04 0 #19 December 17, 2005 and josh...shut it ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A life without a cause is a life without an effect Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Icon134 0 #20 December 17, 2005 I'm not a parent either but from a scientific standpoint sheer genetic propigation of the species is more likely the longer someone is alive and if a child dies before the parent then the chance of propigation is reduced.Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites DickMcMahon 0 #21 December 17, 2005 When my son arrived, for the first time I found myself willing to lay down my life for someone. You love skydiving, right? There's so much to be experienced before anyone dies. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #22 December 17, 2005 Quote I think tons of those kids have lived far more than a lot of adults. They are far wiser and know themselves better. For their age. At the age of 20, I was smarter, more self-reliant, and less naive than my parents. However, I also had the insecurities, choices, wishes, and fears of a 20 year old. By my mid 30s, most of my worries had fallen away and my questions about life became unimportant. That was a far happier point than the early 20s. I know parents who have lost kids. Every one made the same comment. "If I could trade places, I would, in an instant." Pain is for the living. It is the parents, who remain, who live through that. There are few words, it is the silent glances that say it. LMW is right. The only time that you get unconditional love is from your kids (even if you suck as a parent and a person). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flyangel2 2 #23 December 17, 2005 Quote I already realize that on a daily basis. That's why i find you so attractive in many ways. Oh, so you want me to post that attachment againMay your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites airtwardo 7 #24 December 17, 2005 Okay...here's a weird slant~ As a child, I always hoped I would go first! From as long back as I can remember... I had a 'story book' childhood for the most part, I pretty much always loved and respected my folks. From a selfish stand point, I always wanted to go first so I wouldn't have to go through the pain of having to endure their death(s). I honestly continued to feel that way until I became a 'parent' ...*so to speak... Now I hope I go before the kids...again for the same selfish reason... And I have a whole new insight as to why it freaked MY folks out when I use to tell them I'd rather they bury me than the other way around. *(we adopted...I've been told that there is even MORE attachment to biological children....that may be true but I for one don't believe it) ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites airtwardo 7 #25 December 17, 2005 Quotehaving 4 kids myself, and having a wife w/ a chronic, debilitating disease, I've often wondered, what would I do if one of my children came down w/ such a condition? I don't know how I'd cope. At least I know my wife has fulfilled most of her life dreams (becoming a teacher, mother, marrying her true love *moi* , doing a tandem, seeing the Pope, etc.) Quote I do...With the same strength you pull from within yourself everyday! I have a close friend in a very similar stiuation...I can tell ya without even knowing you, you're a better man than I...!!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. 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NlghtJumper 0 #17 December 17, 2005 QuoteMy son just enlisted inthe U.S. Army and I pray that the crap in Iraq and Afganistan is over before he gets to the point of deployment As a soldier in the Army currently deployed, I am sorry to tell you that the deployments are long from over. We are at the point where the "big fighting" is over, but the rebuilding stage will continue for at least 4 more years. The countries themselves are becoming too relient on us being here. QuoteI've asked him about the big one and he said if it's his time then so be it.Say's he is not afraid of death We all say this. Its a kind of way to help push us thru the times where we truely think we are going to die. We can claim to not be afraid and keep on with the mission. But the reality is, most who say it, really are in one way or another. Not so much for ourselves, but for those back home who rely on us so much to make it home safely. As for this thread, I dont have any kids, but I know that I would gladly take the bullet for any of my family, or my fellow soldiers. You never know what they may be capable of doing as long as they are alive. I know where I am going in life, and I am absoultly sure, beyond the shaddow of any doubt, than they are all capable of doing great things. I dont know what I would do if I knew that there was something I could have done to make sure that they made it home to their families... A man will do anything for the right woman, and when that woman destroys him, that man will become a hunk of meat with the common sense of a rodeo clown! ~ Christopher Titus Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aggie04 0 #18 December 17, 2005 good responses everyone. I am in no way saying I would rather a child die than myself. I agree that it is easier (not that it is ever easy) to say goodbye to a loved one who lived a long life. I just wanted to know peoples thoughts on why. And I see that everyone agrees that they are sad for that child because they didn't get to live a long life and do the things we cherish such as love, marry, etc. I guess the blessing there is most children who I have met who have cancer don't think about those things. They aren't sad because of what they won't experience. That is why I wondered why it makes us so sad. Just a little sidenote: my dream someday is to work with children who have cancer, so just because I am not a parent doesn't mean my heart does not go out to each and every child in this world who is hurting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A life without a cause is a life without an effect Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aggie04 0 #19 December 17, 2005 and josh...shut it ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A life without a cause is a life without an effect Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #20 December 17, 2005 I'm not a parent either but from a scientific standpoint sheer genetic propigation of the species is more likely the longer someone is alive and if a child dies before the parent then the chance of propigation is reduced.Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DickMcMahon 0 #21 December 17, 2005 When my son arrived, for the first time I found myself willing to lay down my life for someone. You love skydiving, right? There's so much to be experienced before anyone dies. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #22 December 17, 2005 Quote I think tons of those kids have lived far more than a lot of adults. They are far wiser and know themselves better. For their age. At the age of 20, I was smarter, more self-reliant, and less naive than my parents. However, I also had the insecurities, choices, wishes, and fears of a 20 year old. By my mid 30s, most of my worries had fallen away and my questions about life became unimportant. That was a far happier point than the early 20s. I know parents who have lost kids. Every one made the same comment. "If I could trade places, I would, in an instant." Pain is for the living. It is the parents, who remain, who live through that. There are few words, it is the silent glances that say it. LMW is right. The only time that you get unconditional love is from your kids (even if you suck as a parent and a person). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyangel2 2 #23 December 17, 2005 Quote I already realize that on a daily basis. That's why i find you so attractive in many ways. Oh, so you want me to post that attachment againMay your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #24 December 17, 2005 Okay...here's a weird slant~ As a child, I always hoped I would go first! From as long back as I can remember... I had a 'story book' childhood for the most part, I pretty much always loved and respected my folks. From a selfish stand point, I always wanted to go first so I wouldn't have to go through the pain of having to endure their death(s). I honestly continued to feel that way until I became a 'parent' ...*so to speak... Now I hope I go before the kids...again for the same selfish reason... And I have a whole new insight as to why it freaked MY folks out when I use to tell them I'd rather they bury me than the other way around. *(we adopted...I've been told that there is even MORE attachment to biological children....that may be true but I for one don't believe it) ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #25 December 17, 2005 Quotehaving 4 kids myself, and having a wife w/ a chronic, debilitating disease, I've often wondered, what would I do if one of my children came down w/ such a condition? I don't know how I'd cope. At least I know my wife has fulfilled most of her life dreams (becoming a teacher, mother, marrying her true love *moi* , doing a tandem, seeing the Pope, etc.) Quote I do...With the same strength you pull from within yourself everyday! I have a close friend in a very similar stiuation...I can tell ya without even knowing you, you're a better man than I...!!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
