polarglitch 0 #101 September 20, 2005 Dear butt and your partner in crime Mr Tailbone, Please heal up faster. Its been 6 weeks and your still a pain up my ass. U make piles seem like a vacation and I can't have my girl sit on my lap coz.. it makes my ass feel on fire. Love, Your host. Dear Mrs runway, I didnt quite enjoy riding you although we had several good thumps and im just not into the whole violent thing. You made me bleed pretty bad as u deflowered my hand. I hope you will be kinder in the future. Love, your slave boy.When you come close to losing your life, you learn to value it. I jumped, I survived, I learnt. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #102 September 29, 2005 Dear Recruiters: Please, for the love of god, read my fucking resume before you call me. If I had SQL and other database experience, I would put it on my resume. If your client requires it, do you think they're gonna be interested in me? Oh, and please read the job description for which you are "hiring." Do you think it's a good use of your time to call someone with 13 years experience and a masters degree for a job that requires a bachelors and 4 years? Yeah, I didn't think so. Also, do not call me up and say "I've got a great job opportunity for you. What are your salary requirements?" and expect me to answer that question when I don't know anything about the position or the company or you as a "professional" recruiter for that matter. When I respectfully decline, do not say "Okay, well, what did you make at your last job?" and expect an answer, either. Edited to add: When I oh-so-politely let you know that I don't think the position is a good match for my expeirence and career goals, don't then ask me to cough up the names of "better candidates." Sincerely, Irritated Job Seeker"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #103 October 1, 2005 Dear Sweet Man in my Life, Roy, Chopchop, Where are you dear? .. I didn’t mean to giggle this morning? Where were you last night? I think I heard you stumble in around 2:00am, but I wasn’t really listening because I was in the bathtub enjoying the baby oil. Where are you going after work? Are you bringing home that girl again? Why do you insist on her all the time? Don’t you want some versatility in our life's? So I bought that special equipment you wanted for the deck… yeah, I know your knees have been all scrapped up from the roughness of the roof, so I also bought you a nice pair of monogramed knee pads to go with that handcuff kit.I hope you don’t mind, but I finished up all the KY while you were gone on your business trip. Could you be a gem and get me another quart at the drug store on your way home? Don’t pay any attention to that underwear in the hamper, they're yours, really! I just tore a couple of holes in them so you would like to wear them for a real long time. P.S. In the nicest way I can say possible….can you please stop wearing my panties? You are getting them kinda stretched out and well… lets just say they are not the same bright white they used to be. NO! This is just a joke! Don’t take me seriously people! Sheesh! I LOVE YOU ROY! _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #104 October 1, 2005 Dear Roy: You said you wouldn't tell her about us. Sincerely, We're through! Dear Lany: How *you* doin? Love and Kisses, Your new plaything. "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #105 October 1, 2005 QuoteDear Roy: You said you wouldn't tell her about us. Sincerely, We're through! Dear Lany: How *you* doin? Love and Kisses, Your new plaything. OMFG!! Buwahahahahahaa!!!_______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #106 October 1, 2005 Dear Krisanne, (A.K.A. Backstabber) You know I knew about you two all along. Roy would hide his video helmet when you guys were together and we would sit together in the evenings and watch them. It made the popcorn taste much better… we didn’t even need butter. Oh my goodness….. the things we did while watching those videos! You should have seen us… it was pretty good and messy. A couple of times we thought we would just let you in on our little secret, call you up and invite you over, but in the heat of passion, well… ooops, it was too late (Roy’s not as young as he used to be ya know) Anyway, They were very interesting videos.. and thanks for that new move hun… I use it most frequently. Signed, Plaything in the middle _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #107 October 1, 2005 Dear Lany: So glad I could help improve your skillset. I may not have enough experience to teach skydiving, but ... Just one thing, sweetie. You *might* want to make a visit to your doc. I'm just sayin'. Sincerely, Only Thinking of Your Health"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jloirsdaan 0 #108 October 1, 2005 Dear year here in the desert, Hurry up and pass so I can get my ass back in the big blue sky!! A pissed off soilder! Dear dz.comers, You guys rock....you make the days go by quicker. Keep me thinking of being home..... Thanks, Jordan Dear skydiving chicks, You really do rock!!!! Jordan Go Fast, Dock Soft. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dzdiva 7 #109 October 1, 2005 Dear jloirsdaan, Thank you for what you do.Forever grateful, Diva"It's not just a daydream if you choose to make it your life..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #110 October 1, 2005 QuoteDear Lany: So glad I could help improve your skillset. I may not have enough experience to teach skydiving, but ... Just one thing, sweetie. You *might* want to make a visit to your doc. I'm just sayin'. Sincerely, Only Thinking of Your Health _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #111 October 3, 2005 Dear Companies That List Jobs on Monster.com: I should not be able to find several job opportunities in my area by doing a keyword search with a typo. Unless you wish me to work in your biblically-themed stable, I can't imagine that you have an opportunity for a Manger. Sincerely, Helpful job-seeker with fat fingers"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenz 0 #112 October 3, 2005 To all that have drug problems : PLEASE try and get help to stop your addiction.. i know that you may not care or think "it doesnt matter what i do to my body, its my life etc etc", however it DOES matter... there are plenty of people out there that care about you.. when you're gone its too late... and your family and friends are left with a big hole that will never again be filled, granted some day we will all end up at the end of our roads, however there is no need to rush and leave behind the ones we love on account of an addicition... ASK for help... rest in peace jamie - "never stop laughing""life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenz 0 #113 October 3, 2005 dear everyone here: im sorry for ranting and raving and sounding like a mom... my brother lost one of his best friends who in turn was like a brother to me... its been hitting everyone really hard and i just say these things cause i would hate to see anything tragic happen to ANY of you guys... please know it is all out of love and i will be back to my cheery sarcastic smartass self soon enough cause thats what jamie would have wanted... much love kenz"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #114 October 3, 2005 Dear Kenz, Its understandable. When people are going through a hard time they rant and rave. Its okay, Thats what people have friends for. Friends understand. And although I dont know you, I know that death is a sad thing to have to go through, even more so before the persons "prime" LMSudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #115 November 16, 2005 I'm bringing this one back, since it seems to be in vogue to do that, plus there's no need to create a whole new thread when an old one is appropriate. Dear Rebecca, Why do you keep coming back here? Why must you refresh between work-related operations? Is it really THAT interesting? Get to work you procrastinating lollygagging flibbertygibbet!! Love, You Dear God, the Irish, the French, the Peruvians, and the Americans: Thank you all for your individual contributions, whatever they may be, to one of the greatest creations EVER: French Fries. I am forever in your debt. Please work on removing the calories but leave the taste. Thank you!! Love, Rebecca you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
