highfly 0 #1 October 31, 2005 Well mine started out like this. It comes under potential. I had met this lovely girl on a dz in Florida. SHe was a sister of a pilot of a jump plane there. We spent a couple of days together without much happening except for the usual kisses and fondling etc on the dz. My good friend had a rental car for the time we were in Florida. He decided to lend it to me one night. So that was it I thought I have my chance now. My friend and I were sharing a camper van on site so not much privacy. The girl and I spent maybe 30 mins or so looking for a suitable spot to park up for a bit of lovin. Unfortunately there wasnt that many quiet secluded areas about, until I seen a hole in a bush which the car would just about fit through. I decided to pull into this hole in the bush . We had found a little area to park up on that overlooked the beach. It was a full moon and we could see the sea and beach clearly it looked great , bt we wernt there for the view. Both of us climbed over the seat into the back and quickly got undressed. After about an hour we decided that we should maybe get out of here and go for a beer or 2. I got out of the car to get dressed first I was only wearing my little white socks and then she got out after me with nothing at all on. As she got out she decided to shut the door behind her and all I heard was "clunk". It sounded like central locking to me. Sure enought I grabbed the handle of the door, pulled and it wouldnt open. There in plain sight were the keys in the ignition. mmmmm. SO what to do. Neither of use had a mobile and we were maybe a good 10-15 mins away from civilisation. Only 1 option really. Smash the little 1/4 panel of glass in the rear passenger window. Ever tried looking for a rock on a sandy beach? There aint many about. SO I had to go back to the road and search along the verge for a stone. Imagine driving down a road in the middle of the night and seeing someone squatting bare naked (except for the little white socks) rubbing the ground "feeling" for stones big enought to smash a window. Eventually after 10 mins of searching I found a pebble big enough to smash the window. I got back to the car and proceeded to break in. Eventually after a few minutes of trying we got back in and got dressed hurridly. My next problem was to tell my mate about waht had happend. Do I tell him that the car was broken into? DO I tell him the window got smashed by some kids throwing stones on the side of the road? Sod it Ill just tell him what happend. Boy the girl in question and I had such a scream the next morning. Everyone kept coming up to us to tell us the car had been broken into. We just smiled and said "We know" www.myspace.com/durtymac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #3 October 31, 2005 Tell him the truth have him make up the lie for the rental company. For future referance that little 1/4 window is more expensive then any of the other windows on the car doors. You at least have got to get a kudos for the haps.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
highfly 0 #4 October 31, 2005 Well when my friend took the car back to the rental company he asked if he would be liable for the damage. The desk attenddent asked what had happend. He told it like I did. They didnt belive him,but let him off. I drove around all day from Port St Lucie to Melbourne looking for glass for the 1/4 panel. Unfortunatly because the car was so new they didnt have glass in stock. www.myspace.com/durtymac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
artistcalledian 0 #5 October 31, 2005 getting caught with the next door neighbours dog ________________________________________ drive it like you stole it and f*ck the police Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wartload 0 #6 November 1, 2005 This one was going around a DZ many years ago. Didnt' know the fellow in question, but he may be on here. Anyway ... The jump pilot was here from France, building time and living at the DZ. He got to know one of the local girls well enough through contact at the DZ to get the feeling that he was going to get lucky with her when he took her out the first time. He borrowed a car for the date, but went to the local pharmacy earlier in the day to purchase the necessary protection. Unfortunately for him, the condoms were kept out of sight and behind the counter of the pharmacy. Even more unfortunate, his English had several limitations-including knowing how to ask for condoms. To make matters even worse, the pharmacist on duty was a female. Not being able to communicate to the pharmacist what "zee roobers" meant, he tried to explain it in terms of what they were to be used for. He said that he had a date that night and that he needed the things to use for making sex. That got the message across. He got his condoms and went out of the pharmacy totally embarassed ... ... but not as embarassed as he was when he went to pick up his date that night and her mom answered the door ... still wearing her white jacket from the pharmacy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flefly 0 #7 November 1, 2005 with 4 kids, and no lock on the bedroom door, there's always potential. fortunatley past occurences have been explainable by "playing horsey" or "tickling competitions""Message from the dark side, there is" Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ephrin 0 #9 November 1, 2005 Quotewith 4 kids, and no lock on the bedroom door, there's always potential. fortunatley past occurences have been explainable by "playing horsey" or "tickling competitions" Eh. Worse than this is getting walked in on by your mom... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flefly 0 #10 November 1, 2005 Yeah agreed, been there done that, splattered a T-Shirt, still got the video. no doubt we shall eventually complete the cycle in about 4 years, when my eldest lad starts ............ "enlightening" his self..."Message from the dark side, there is" Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ephrin 0 #11 November 1, 2005 QuoteYeah agreed, been there done that, splattered a T-Shirt, still got the video. no doubt we shall eventually complete the cycle in about 4 years, when my eldest lad starts ............ "enlightening" his self... See, never done that. On my particular embarrassing incident, I was 15 and being "enlightened" by my girlfriend... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flefly 0 #12 November 1, 2005 look mom.....no hands.. "Message from the dark side, there is" Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
highfly 0 #13 November 1, 2005 Worse than that is your mum walking in while your'e tossing with your eyes closedand headphones on and putting a cup of t on your bed side table www.myspace.com/durtymac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #14 November 1, 2005 QuoteWorse than that is your mum walking in while your'e tossing with your eyes closedand headphones on and putting a cup of t on your bed side table Is that as bad as letting some flavorful vapors out during the big "O" . . . . When she's down on you?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hobbes4star 0 #15 November 1, 2005 if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
highfly 0 #16 November 1, 2005 Its even worse in a 69. Her nose is just mere inches away form the exit point www.myspace.com/durtymac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #17 November 1, 2005 QuoteIts even worse in a 69. Her nose is just mere inches away form the exit point That would depend on if she could take it all.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest #18 November 1, 2005 Quote "I'm a peripheral visionary . . . I can see into the future, just way off to the side." That's gotta be Steven Wright... mh ."The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
highfly 0 #19 November 1, 2005 Imagine if she had a nose like this http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1512361.html?menu= www.myspace.com/durtymac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scoop 0 #20 November 1, 2005 QuoteWorse than that is your mum walking in while your'e tossing with your eyes closedand headphones on and putting a cup of t on your bed side table Fuck, who told you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thegreekone 0 #21 November 1, 2005 QuoteWorse than that is your mum walking in while your'e tossing with your eyes closedand headphones on and putting a cup of t on your bed side table honest to god belly-shaking laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! still laughing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,517 #22 November 1, 2005 QuoteWorse than that is your mum walking in while your'e tossing with your eyes closedand headphones on and putting a cup of t on your bed side table Sounds like multi-tasking to me That said, wartload's story is awesome. Sounds like it's one that really happened, too (unlike so many). Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #23 November 1, 2005 Actually, that's an old old joke. I've heard it many times before with the girlfriend's father as the pharmacist! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,517 #24 November 1, 2005 Ah well... It was reframed with skydiving details, and I'm gullible. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #25 November 1, 2005 Wasn't that a scene from a movie. I seem to rember something of the 80s brat pack or somewhere around there... only it was a HS guy buying ribbed for her pleasure condomsDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
