Alright! I've had it with winter. Looking for fake husband so I can move to AZ and jump for the rest of my life.

[benforde 0]

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OMG Chicken!

I am opening a Canadian Ladies Only Winter foster home in Tucson, 45 minutes from Eloy. Great French Chef. Views on Mt. Lemmon located in the Catalina foothills, pool. regular shuttle to the DZ.

Applicants are requested to present face and full body shots along with resume, weight and measures, age, education, vices, tattoos, piercings and wing loading. number of jumps etc.. All kind of trade will be considered.

Reflex jumpers may not apply.

[mdrejhon 8]

Psst.... Why not try Vancouver (hint, hint). Open almost all year round, I think. It's pretty temperate for Canada. I was there in December a few years ago and it was sometimes warm enough to go without a jacket. Never saw any snow except in the Rockies.

Although I am a mere Ottawa mortal that has to suffer these winters too, I'm sure there are some cuties out west. Much easier than moving down south

[Remster 30]

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Dammit I have great lips but no boobs!

Present company excluded, I know of at least one dz.com AZ local who digs small boobs. You could do worse then him too.

Remster

[Remster 30]

Never mind about my last post... Hey Benji!

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Reflex jumpers may not apply.

I guess Karen is safe then!

Remster

[benforde 0]

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Reflex jumpers may not apply.

I guess Karen is safe then!

[Remster 30]

reflexes are fine FF rigs! When packed right! lol.. the last rigger who did her reserve packed so large at the bottom that her main container is all ugly now...

But in any event, we're shopping around already...


As far as our home goes, I asked karen and we cant have live-in "guests"

Remster

[HUSHPUPPY 0]

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I hate winter in Canada so much, I am willing to prostitute mlyself to some poor skydiver that lives in the south.

Ok here goes......................
You gotta put up with my bitching.
~
(No problem….put up with ex-wife for over 12 years!)
~
I talk in my sleep but I still like too cuddle.
~
(I only mumble in my sleep! Cuddling is fine also!)
~
Sleep with whoever you want as long as I get to do the same,(if my chick is hotter than yours, no whining and no threesomes, trust me, they are boring).
~
(OK as long as I get to watch occasionally!)
~
I will provide sexual favours,(as long as they don't scare the shit out of me).
~
(I only scare myself!....maybe I shouldn’t have said that!)
~
If you keep me medicated, I'm a lot of fun,(Vodka is NOT suggested).
~
(all the Southern Comfort you can drink!)
~
I need to be able to climb and jump year round or the bitchy part gets worse.
~
(Not a lot to climb around here, North Georgia mountains not too far away! We jump YEAR ROUND including the BEST beach jumps you will ever make!........Loads of FUN!)

Photos attatched.................

Man I hate winter!

"You made my panties wet!" Skymama (Fitz 09)
"Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."

[bch7773 0]

that second picture looks so much like angelina jolie its scary.

and i mean the good kind of scary

MB 3528, RB 1182

[Diversgodown 0]

Come to Dallas I moved down here to escape the horrid Illinois winters, I lived in AZ awhile back, I think you should come to TX instead, Have you seen The Last Unicorn? the bitching part is fine I have large speakers to drown you out, I don't cuddle a whole lot when I sleep though, Hey have as many women as you want the more the merrier right. I don't think I person the rest of one's life is plausible it just wasn't meant to be that way... anyhow I should go work. I'm the one on the right, cowboy hat optional can be used as sex prop if you like it!!! You gotta love Dogs though I have a large German Sheperd.

***Glory Favors the Bold***

[Thanatos340 1]

Wow!! I am Kinda Speechless at the moment......

So exactly how much is this going to cost me??
Do I need to send a Ring or anything??

Anyone want to buy a small fairly successful software company so that I afford her??

[lisamariewillbe 1]

Jay, Im pretty sure she wouldnt care about a ring, she just wants to be closer to a warm dz, hell let her stay in the van, she seems low maintence, and uhhh dont forget to set those hidden cameras up in the van

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[goose491 0]

Sup Chicky?!! It's me, Nick.

So you lookin' to sell the ol' sole eh? Max is moving out there on the 25th. He's going to be staying with Sarah and Curtis. I'd suggest you marry him but he's and ass... and he's foreign.


Hey, btw, where were you this weekend? Your brother and father both did their solos yesterday!

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[Thanatos340 1]

Possibly upgradeing the Van to an RV this week. Hell with her uhhh.. Qualifications.. Maybe I will just give her the RV and a Monthly allowance so she can go where she wants as long as she drops on from time to time.

[goose491 0]

Karri! You back on these boards these days?

Noice, you can help keep me company at work!

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[popsjumper 2]

Before you make your final decision consider this...

I live a short plane ride to any DZ in the country.
I have no expections for pool cleaning and/or yard work or housework of any kind.
I can send you my bank account number as a good-faith offer.
I'm really good at eliminating causes of bitchiness - except for hormone-induced rants.
I have no outstanding warrants against me.

My only requirement is to not be late for the limo to the DZ.

Welcome to Georgia!

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[lisamariewillbe 1]

She is fucking hot.... the eyes and lips.... hmm you rent her a RV and Ill get Clay to install the live feed video camera.... uhhh yea

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[TypicalFish 0]

Hmmmmmmmmmm... "Fake Wife"... very interesting....

"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET

[Buried 0]

does the winner get a 'test drive' first?

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[karrigirl 0]

hmmm...
Chicken, this is attesting to be a very attractive thread.

~ You have popsjumper c**kblocking bill
~ 3 Hot skychicka's supporting/wanting boobie shots
~ A few Texas Cowboys, one with the name DIVERSGODOWN... gIDDYuP!
~ Zee French Chef with Zee palace... good thing you sold the Reflex! (oh...and he thinks canadian girls are Easy)
~ There's even a gay man offering to be a Fake Husband.
~ The Soldier in Iraq with a harem of lively consorts, with it's reprimands and rewards... Hey, can I buy your tent?

Its an "all American after school special"

and.... well... I don't even know what to say about Max~~

Buried said: Does the winner get a test drive?
...hmm... can't answer that... but I can offer the "winner" some cleavage shots from the yearend party... and the "real" story behind the name "Flyin'Chicken"... I know you'll truly enjoy... I did!

The mighty ocean has but one taste, the taste of salt. Even so, the true way has but one savor, the savor of freedom.

[Diversgodown 0]

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~ A few Texas Cowboys, one with the name DIVERSGODOWN... gIDDYuP!

You may be the only one so far that has really thought about the triple meaning of my name
I give you props, I love you Canadian chicks

***Glory Favors the Bold***

[dgskydive 0]

She likes to be spanked as well fellas. Gotta rub it after though.

Dom

[lisamariewillbe 1]

okay its settled then , she can fake marry Clayton, hes the best spanker and hes flippen hot to

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[Buried 0]

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...hmm... can't answer that... but I can offer the "winner" some cleavage shots from the yearend party... and the "real" story behind the name "Flyin'Chicken"... I know you'll truly enjoy... I did!

I'll expect a Pm from you shortly

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[popsjumper 2]

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hmmm...
Chicken, this is attesting to be a very attractive thread.

~ You have popsjumper c**kblocking bill

FOUL...or should that be FOWL!
I'm innocent! You do me injustice!....Cockblocking Bill?
What? Not prone to cockblocking.
Please explain your reasoning.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[flyinchicken 0]

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Applicants are requested to present face and full body shots

Ok, got the face shot, you'll have to ask Karri for the shots that make me LOOK like I HAVE cleavage. Full body shot attatched.

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weight and measures

107lbs, 5'2", 34-26-36

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age

That is not a polite question too ask a lady so I will decline to answere it.

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education, vices, tattoos, piercings

I'm dumb I never finished highschool. Two tattoos, a unicorn on my chest, (as seen in shots at the beginning of thread), and Bullwinkle on my ass. I have my nose and my ears pierced too chicken to get anything else.

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wing loading. number of jumps etc

You're a smart guy figure it out from my profile.

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Reflex jumpers may not apply

My first rig was a REFLEX and I loved it! Geesh! No doggin my fave baby!

A five star hotel with all the amenities of home would be wonderful so when you get it set up give me a call!

Dammit don't have a pic small enough.

"Diligent observation leads to pure abstraction". Lari Pittman