bad parent...

[StreetScooby 5]

1) When I see my kids doing stupid things whereby they can hurt themselves, I tell them that if they do indeed get hurt and have to go to the hospital we may have to sell them for body parts since we don't have insurance.

2) Several years ago, I came home one night to find a State Police helicopter flying up and down my road with the spot light on. Hum, I thought, that's peculiar. So, I called the town police, and sure enough, they were searching for a perp that was hiding on my street (...come to find out 2 days later, he was an ex-convict just out of jail, armed, tried to rob a bank, stole a car, and finally abandoned it while being chased by the cops about 2 streets from where I live). I immediately go get a gun out, bring my kids around, told them about the gun, that they couldn't even look at it unless I was with them, and to keep their ears open for anyone coming into the house.

A week later, I get a call from my youngest child's preschool teacher. Seems my daughter was telling her friends that if they knew any bad guys to tell her dad, because I would kill them. I didn't say anything during the conversation, but immediately informed my town's detective (who I drink with at the local pub) about the call. He thought it was hilarious. To this day, my youngest daughter can't wait to own a gun (...she'll get one when she's 12, 7 more years to go).

We are all engines of karma

[freeflir29 0]

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He might do more than lick it.

If he has a bottle of Head and Shoulders in his hand shit is about to get serious.

[yardhippie 0]

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He might do more than lick it.

If he has a bottle of Head and Shoulders in his hand shit is about to get serious.

Is that how you clean a computer screen after you ejaculate on it?

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[Ashtanga 0]

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Is that how you clean a computer screen after you ejaculate on it?

Exactly. It makes it sparkling clean.

[freeflir29 0]

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Is that how you clean a computer screen after you ejaculate on it?

Wait..........I thought he said he licked it to clean it?

[Ashtanga 0]

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Wait..........I thought he said he licked it to clean it?

Clay, don't you have something else to do.

[freeflir29 0]

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Clay, don't you have something else to do.

I'm in Iraq.........Nope...........sure don't.

[jumpchikk 0]

LM will be so proud, we turned this into a sex thread. Whose fault is that anyway?

I'm blaming Nathan.

[Ashtanga 0]

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I'm blaming Nathan

Come here and spank me you hot thang!

[yardhippie 0]

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Is that how you clean a computer screen after you ejaculate on it?

Wait..........I thought he said he licked it to clean it?

No, he licked Rebeccas teeth.
You really dont want to lick it after its had H & S on it. That would tast like crap!

I think someone is a bad parent for letting this go to a sex thread!

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[jumpchikk 0]

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Come here and spank me you hot thang!

You know where I will be tonight

[Ashtanga 0]

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You know where I will be tonight

In bed with me if things go right.

[jumpchikk 0]

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You know where I will be tonight

In bed with me if things go right.

Better get there early, while supplies last.

[chanell 0]

ROTFLMAO!!!! I love it!!!!! I'm the same way with my kids! (of course mine are 3 & 1, but still . . .) telling my daughter, who so urgently MUST fly her brand new kite, that its night time and she can't fly it at night cus the wind doesn't blow at night. also, when resisting getting her hair washed in the bath, telling her i must wash the ants out that got in when she was playing out side, she doesn't fight it after that. I'm sure tha tone day she will come home from school with a note from her teacher talking about ants in her hair or something to that effect.

Numero Cinco Rodriguez

[yardhippie 0]

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You know where I will be tonight

In bed with me if things go right.

Better get there early, while supplies last.

What are you on special or something?!

Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

[jumpchikk 0]

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What are you on special or something?!

Sure, why not. Might even be a 2 for 1 special.

[freeflir29 0]

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Sure, why not. Might even be a 2 for 1 special.

That's a GOOD GIRL.

[mnealtx 0]

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What are you on special or something?!

Sure, why not. Might even be a 2 for 1 special.

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[BillyVance 34]

Kids have an unbelievable capacity for imagination. They can take something you say and twist it around so horribly you're wondering just what the fuck happened when it blows back in your face!

Oh boy... I can hardly wait my turn...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[tbrown 26]

I however think the teacher needs to remove the stick

[chaoskitty 0]

Why didn't you just tell Kyle that George drowned?

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

I live to scare the crap out of my kids. After a scary movie and I put them to bed, I'll be the first person to go outside and scratch, throw small pebbles or even howl outside of the their bedroom window.
Being a streetwise person (and proud of it, I might add...), I am always a step ahead of my kids, because as a child I got into everything and tried every trick in the book. My kids often wonder how I know what they are going to do or what they are thinking BEFORE they even do it or say it.

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[tigra 0]

If my mom saw a dead fish in my aquarium before I did, she'd scoop it out, put it in a baggy and go to the pet store to find another one just like it. I was a lot older than your kid at the time but she thought I had death issues. Since she didn't do such a great job "matching" the fish, I thought they were mutating! I was in my 20s before I found out she used to do that!

[missg8tordivr 0]

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What are you on special or something?! [Laugh][Laugh]

Sure, why not. Might even be a 2 for 1 special.

[Ashtanga 0]

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Does that mean two for one shots?!

No. It means you can stick it in two openings. The third one will cost you extra.

Did I just say that?