Dealt With Cancer??

[dropdeded 0]

A close friend is dying. His body is freekin racked with cancer. I will be staying with him and most likely moving in when things get really bad. Im an EMT, not a doctor. If you have dealt with caring for someone in this situation, and would be willing to answer some questions please PM me and if need be I will contact you. I've seen several threads on cancer in the past and I'd appreciate any help.

Thanks guys.

ed

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The Dude Abides.
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[Ashtanga 0]

PM sent.

[tbrown 26]

I don't really have a whole lot of specifics to offer, but 3 years ago we took my mother in law into our home so she could die of a mouth cancer. We didn't want her to die in some hospital, with some nitwit waking her up to take her vitals in the middle of the night just because the shifts changed at the nursing station. We set up our dining room as a bedroom, with a really nice view of the garden out back and one morning she flew away out the window and left her body behind.

The most important thing I can urge anyone in a situation like this to do is to get in touch with your local hospice organization. They will make it SO much easier for you, your friend, and anyone else involved. For one thing, you won't have ANY more trouble getting the prescription narcotics your friend will need to control the pain. Once hospice is on board, your friend is THEIR patient, and THEY will take care of getting all the drugs. The paranoid suspicion, evil eye, and red tape at the pharmacy counter will VANISH. Then, as things progress, they'll come by your place more and more often, until they're stopping in every day near the end. And when your friend dies, you call hospice and they're at your house in MINUTES to help with taking care of the necessary stuff, the official report, and all that other crap you won't feel like dealing with. They also offer counseling to help you, your friend, and anyone else to understand and cope with each of your parts in this final act of life.

Caring for a dying person isn't just a kind thing, it's a good thing. It may be difficult, but you will always be glad you did it. And your dying friend will just appreciate the shit out of it.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[dropdeded 0]

Thanks for the PM's guys. I will be needing help one way or another eventually and I have no problem accepting it, when its offered, especially when it will benifit someone else.

have a good day

ed

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The Dude Abides.
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[MissBuffDiver 0]

I have had cancer 3x. Cervical and both breasts and possibly again in my left lung. Just had a chest xray and the Dr. wants me to have further tests. I will be posting a thread soon about my experience with this disease. Something I feel compelled to do for everyone. Just need to sort out my thoughts before I do this thread....For now just be there for your friend, it is probably the best medicine at this point. *** In the end God takes care of all of us, and what is meant to be will be.

Sandy

[KevinMcGuire 0]

Quote

I don't really have a whole lot of specifics to offer, but 3 years ago we took my mother in law into our home so she could die of a mouth cancer. We didn't want her to die in some hospital, with some nitwit waking her up to take her vitals in the middle of the night just because the shifts changed at the nursing station. We set up our dining room as a bedroom, with a really nice view of the garden out back and one morning she flew away out the window and left her body behind.

The most important thing I can urge anyone in a situation like this to do is to get in touch with your local hospice organization. They will make it SO much easier for you, your friend, and anyone else involved. For one thing, you won't have ANY more trouble getting the prescription narcotics your friend will need to control the pain. Once hospice is on board, your friend is THEIR patient, and THEY will take care of getting all the drugs. The paranoid suspicion, evil eye, and red tape at the pharmacy counter will VANISH. Then, as things progress, they'll come by your place more and more often, until they're stopping in every day near the end. And when your friend dies, you call hospice and they're at your house in MINUTES to help with taking care of the necessary stuff, the official report, and all that other crap you won't feel like dealing with. They also offer counseling to help you, your friend, and anyone else to understand and cope with each of your parts in this final act of life.

Caring for a dying person isn't just a kind thing, it's a good thing. It may be difficult, but you will always be glad you did it. And your dying friend will just appreciate the shit out of it.

Wow. Thanks for that. I hope to never have to take your advice but of course I will if it comes to that.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Quote

Quote

I don't really have a whole lot of specifics to offer, but 3 years ago we took my mother in law into our home so she could die of a mouth cancer. We didn't want her to die in some hospital, with some nitwit waking her up to take her vitals in the middle of the night just because the shifts changed at the nursing station. We set up our dining room as a bedroom, with a really nice view of the garden out back and one morning she flew away out the window and left her body behind.

The most important thing I can urge anyone in a situation like this to do is to get in touch with your local hospice organization. They will make it SO much easier for you, your friend, and anyone else involved. For one thing, you won't have ANY more trouble getting the prescription narcotics your friend will need to control the pain. Once hospice is on board, your friend is THEIR patient, and THEY will take care of getting all the drugs. The paranoid suspicion, evil eye, and red tape at the pharmacy counter will VANISH. Then, as things progress, they'll come by your place more and more often, until they're stopping in every day near the end. And when your friend dies, you call hospice and they're at your house in MINUTES to help with taking care of the necessary stuff, the official report, and all that other crap you won't feel like dealing with. They also offer counseling to help you, your friend, and anyone else to understand and cope with each of your parts in this final act of life.

Caring for a dying person isn't just a kind thing, it's a good thing. It may be difficult, but you will always be glad you did it. And your dying friend will just appreciate the shit out of it.

Wow. Thanks for that. I hope to never have to take your advice but of course I will if it comes to that.

I agree, that is WONDERFUL info to know. I was too far away when several of my relatives passed away of cancer, so I was not involved in daily responsibilities.

And up at the top, hey Ed, that isn't just a great thing to do, man you should be honored that someone would put the rest of their earthly life into your hands.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[arlo 0]

what type of cancer does your friend have? shoot me a PM and i'll tell ya what we did for my mom including nutrition, medicine, and personal care.

good on you for being there for your friend because your friend needs support and help with things he may not ask for.

take care and don't forget to PM....

arlo

[dropdeded 0]

Lung Cancer, some bone issues (hip, wrists, hands, shoulder, ribs, clavicle and spine) part of the liver, brain, and possibly the heart. These are just some of what I remember. I will be talking with people that know particulars within the next few days. My friend is fucked up. I've got some stuff to learn.

ed

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The Dude Abides.
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[Skykimmer 0]

One bit of advice I would like to add. Taking care of someone that is dying is very difficult on the caregiver. Remember that it is OK to take some time out to take care of yourself. Go to the American Cancer Society website is you would like some information and/or on support groups for caregivers.

I think it is an awesome thing that you are doing to stick with your friend through this process.

Hugs,

Kim

[wmw999 2,460]

Hospice can help with taking care of yourself as well as your friend. My mother died at home with their help, and so did my father-in-law. And in each case, they were always willing to basically just sit, have a cup of coffee or whatever, and ask how the rest of the family was doing.

Good luck to you, Ed. I was with both of them when they died, as they wanted and reasonably comfortable, and it was an incredible moment in each case.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[skybytch 273]

My parents took in my grandmother for the last few months of her life (she died of old age, not the lung cancer she'd beaten a year or so earlier). It was very hard (Mom said she wouldn't have handled it nearly as well without Hospice), but well worth it to know that Gramma was cared for by her family and died in a familiar and comfortable place with her loved ones around her.

Being there for your friend in his final days is an incredible gift, Ed. Good luck, and know that there are always people here to talk to when you need to.

[dropdeded 0]

Sometimes, just getting someone to talk. Talk about themselves, their past, works better than any medication. I was amazed at what I saw today.

Good Stuff
dropdeded

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The Dude Abides.
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[skybaby420 0]

my mom had stage 4 sinus cancer 12 years ago. i was 18 and her only caretaker - barely old enough to take care of myself. she had heavy doses of chemo and radiation daily. she made it though ok, but has had health problems since then including breast cancer and a mastectomy.

i've read the posts here and the advice, all seems good. i agree hospice should be involved and they will help tremendously.

one thing one of my aunts did was send a big box with a bunch of little presents in it. all were wrapped with specific instructions written on each - like "open on a tuesday" or "open when you need to laugh". we had one or two presents to open every day. they were silly things like slinkies or silly putty, but it really helped both of us out.

since then, each year, i take at the same number of boxes to the hospitals or cancer centers - one box for each year since mom's remission. the dollar store or a party store are good, inexpensive places to shop.

be sure to take time out for yourself and always remember to laugh - no matter how bad it hurts! you are a good friend!
~S

[dropdeded 0]

Well, Randy passed away about 5 this morning. It was peaceful. Just a quick thank you for you guys that replied and pm'd me with thoughts and support.

dropdeded

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The Dude Abides.
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[wmw999 2,460]

Bless your heart for what you did. Take care of yourself, too Ed.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[Ashtanga 0]

dropdeded,

I lost my mom to cancer when I was younger. My sister recently battled it and is now in remission. I feel for what you are going through because I have been there myself. Stay strong and pm me if you ever want to.

[arlo 0]

you are a good man to have been there so selflessly when he needed someone that cared. that speaks volumes.

i am glad Randy was released peacefully and i'm sooooooo happy he doesn't have to deal with that f-ed up disease any more.

godspeed randy. i wish you well...

arlo

ed, take care of yourself now...you did good.

[dropdeded 0]

ed, take care of yourself now...you did good.
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Circumstances kept me away at the end, really didnt think it was going to happen when it did and thankfully there were others to be there for him. I do know he understood, and thats all that matters. There's more relief than anything now, and Im truly glad its over for him. Thats some brutal shit to go through.

ed

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The Dude Abides.
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[ACMESkydiver 0]

Quote

Circumstances kept me away at the end, really didnt think it was going to happen when it did and thankfully there were others to be there for him. I do know he understood, and thats all that matters. There's more relief than anything now, and Im truly glad its over for him. Thats some brutal shit to go through.

ed

You're an amazing man to go through that for love of a friend.

Blues to your friend, and peace to you.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Viking 0]

lost my grandpa to liver cancer in 96. Lost my dad to brain cancer when i was three.

I have to go into my doc to have a spot on my right ear that looks like skin cancer.

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin