SpeedRacer 1 #1 August 27, 2005 well we went out for2 years when I was in my 20s. We both learned alot about ourselves since then. She being a woman, had a Whole Lot More Options than me. So she dated a few guys, one, who was an asshole, but of course, whom she was more in love with than me, but later realized he WAS AN ASSHOLE, then broke up with, then hooked up with a Nice Guy, who was a Lot Like Me, and married him. That went on for about 5 years. Then she DIVORCED him due to his ongoing health &work -related probs. Then she was single for a while. Then she called me up & wanted me to MARRY her. She's great & everything, but she wants to live in Cambridge, MA, and I want to live in Frederick, MD. And she knows I'm an easy mark, because I'm intelligent & clean & a nice guy & free of STDs, and I get an automatic hard-on whenever she's close to me.. so, is that grounds for a relationship with a future??? Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #2 August 27, 2005 Depends... something gonna have to give on the living arrangements... maybe a compromise? Or move to whoever makes the most money... good luck!"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #3 August 27, 2005 Quoteongoing health &work -related probs she divorced someone because of health or work problems? Work problems I might understand , but health? Hmmmm seems she is a bitch if she would hold health against the man she promised to love in sickness and in health... Dude... look red grab red... you dont want sloppy seconds anywaysSudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #4 August 27, 2005 Quoteso, is that grounds for a relationship with a future??? Let me put it this way--NO WAY!!! NO HOW!!! Take sex out of the equation. Would you still want to spend the rest of your life with her? Sounds like she has a very poor track record. Don't be her next victim. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #5 August 27, 2005 you may be right. but I can't entirely blame her. His problems were all trendy shit like : "chronic fatigue syndrome" and "candida yeast" and whatever other trendy politically correct disfunction was on the market at the time. That was his reason for not going out & getting a job. I have NEVER been on a PC-dietary regime, and am FAR more healthy than those who have. Draw your own conclusions. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #6 August 27, 2005 nevertheless, I still see the point of what y'all are saying. I have not gone back to her. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #7 August 27, 2005 QuoteQuoteongoing health &work -related probs she divorced someone because of health or work problems? Work problems I might understand , but health? Hmmmm seems she is a bitch if she would hold health against the man she promised to love in sickness and in health... That was my first thought, but I realize that it really isn't that simple these days. In situations where one spouse has a severe long-term illness, there may be financial reasons to divorce. For example, if neither had health insurance, the husband was having severe health problems and the wife worked, the husband may not qualify for some sort of government assistance because of the wife's income. In a case like that, though, I would hope that the ex-wife would stay around--a separate residence to make the divorce legitimate for sure, but she should stay around unless the ex-husband wanted her out of his life, which is certainly a possibility. Just some thoughts. I'd still stay the hell away from the woman, though. Sounds like she either has a hidden agenda or she doesn't know what she wants. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swedishcelt 0 #8 August 27, 2005 Her husband had a yeast infection? I thought only females got that... Bizarre... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bumgangster 0 #9 August 27, 2005 why don't you save yourself some time and just give her all your money Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #10 August 27, 2005 um no this is not the vaginal yast infection you're thinking of. This is candida yeast, which the la-di-da types blame on a lot of internal blood-bourne sources of exhaustion,etc. strangely enough, those of us who ignore them are in robust health. draw your own conclusions. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sen.Blutarsky 0 #11 August 27, 2005 A pertinent scenario has played out for me at least twice. And may God Bless the Zebra Lounge in Chicago. As I seem to recall each instance culminated in me running down fire escapes with my pants slung over a shoulder in emergency fashion. Get it while it’s hot but good luck, you’re probably gonna need it and you might get shot. Blutarsky 2008. No Prisoners! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hipwrddude 0 #12 August 27, 2005 I'm no marriage counselor but over the past year I've learned more about that stuff (heavy reading) then in all the years of my life stuffed into a can of mushrooms. All studies point to two things for a lasting marriage: 1.) Kindness and 2.) Intimacy. There are stages to love. Sounds like you're done with all of them in reference to your experience with your ex. The strongest stage lasts about 2.5 years (on average.) While there's more to provide in terms of content, my guesstimate and assumption is that you would enjoy tagging her often, but, in reality, she's not your girl for the long haul. For that, you need to find your match: 1.) She must look similar to you; 2.) She must share your core values/religious beliefs; 3.) She must have many common interests; 4.) She must enjoy alot of what you enjoy-on the levels you do; 5.) You are friends who connect on many levels. Lastly, hold out and seek the one you want, otherwise, life goes by without real fulfillment. Like I said, I'm no marriage counselor. Sometimes it may seem right, but it's not, and you can't ignore the clues. Because, if you do... it's your life. You're always the starter in your own life! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #13 August 27, 2005 dude, she shit all over you years ago. why do you want to put yourself through that kind of pain again. you kind of sound like a back up plan to me Fuck 'er if she sees you as that ,get her out of your head/heart. b/c if you don't she'll probably fuck you first but not in a nice way. sorry to sound like such a chauvenistic asshole but its just my defense mechanism when this kind of bullshit runs across my pathMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mx757 4 #14 August 27, 2005 screw her.... once she breaks up with you..... don't get back in the FIRE! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dzdiva 7 #15 August 27, 2005 You deserve so much better. You're a sweet, funny and intelligent guy. Don't settle for being the second option, the backup plan. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who appreciates who you are and wants to be with you because of that?"It's not just a daydream if you choose to make it your life..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bisqit999 0 #16 August 27, 2005 Dude...stay away....she sounds evil! I was just in a very similar situation. So similar its frightening. What I did was just told her I never would like to speak with her again. I I cut off all ties with her and it seems to be working. Good luck but you're better off stayin away from this one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #17 August 27, 2005 Hook up for a weekend and see what you think still. Sounds like you're holding the cards this time, not her. Maybe she's changed a little bit, maybe not. How much can it hurt to take a look? Keep your head on straight, though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyyhi 0 #18 August 27, 2005 QuoteFuck 'er if she sees you as that ,get her out of your head/heart. b/c if you don't she'll probably fuck you first but not in a nice way. sorry to sound like such a chauvenistic asshole but its just my defense mechanism when this kind of bullshit runs across my path JT, I think you sound right on dude. . .and I am a chick. Of course, if it was a girl seeking this same advice I would be telling her the exact same shit. Nothing chauvenistic about it. Its the truth and works both ways. To the original poster - if you gotta ask, its not right for you - period, end of discussion. When you don't have to ask, or feel the need to ask, for an opinion from someone outside the relationship then you will know it is right.________________________________________ Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ FGF #6 Darcy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #19 August 27, 2005 If neither one of you are willing to relocate, then I don't see what the point is unless you just want to be fuck-buddies.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swedishcelt 0 #20 August 27, 2005 skymama said the f-word. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #21 August 27, 2005 LMAO...I'm not as innocent as I seem. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KevinMcGuire 0 #22 August 27, 2005 Quotewhy don't you save yourself some time and just give her all your money couldn't have said it better myself. Sounds like she is never satisfied and is always looking to get a better deal. You are now her soup de jure Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KevinMcGuire 0 #23 August 27, 2005 QuoteHook up for a weekend and see what you think still. Sounds like you're holding the cards this time, not her. There is no "holding cards" or any sort in a loving relationship. If one or another is holding anything but love and caring for the other, then the relationship is doomed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #24 August 27, 2005 QuoteAnd she knows I'm an easy mark, because I'm intelligent & clean & a nice guy & free of STDs, and I get an automatic hard-on whenever she's close to me. so, is that grounds for a relationship with a future??? "easy mark" and an "automatic hard-on." My gosh, that sounds like exactly the criteria that form the basis of a meaningful, lasting, lifetime relationship. She still doesn't know what she wants. She just doesn't want to be single. You feel like being flavor of the month? Your "automatic hard-on" enough to sustain you when she gets bored again? Then go for it!"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
haymangonzo 0 #25 August 27, 2005 Dude, we can all talk about how good/bad she is, but you yourself don't come over as somebody that's madly in love. We can all hang our heads down because Skymama is perhaps out of reach for most of us, but still, you should marry when you're fucking in love. Ask Dutin Hoffman when he eloped with mrs. Robinsons daughter, he wouldn't give a fuck where the bus was taking them, HE WAS IS LOVE. *** Nice to meet you toot! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
