boinky 0 #1 August 6, 2005 Sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask." Idiot Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an "intellectually challenged" co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?" Idiot Sighting #3: At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck. Idiot Sighting #4: I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #2 August 6, 2005 *sigh* "I see stupid people..." I think I've seen all of these people in the last week!!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #3 August 6, 2005 Several years ago, I was working in the oilfield and got my truck stuck in the sand. As I was trying to dig-out, a fella in a pick-up stopped and hollered out the window; "Ya' stuck?" No, my truck died and I'm tryin' to bury it... here's yer sign! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #4 August 6, 2005 QuoteSeveral years ago, I was working in the oilfield and got my truck stuck in the sand. As I was trying to dig-out, a fella in a pick-up stopped and hollered out the window; "Ya' stuck?" No, my truck died and I'm tryin' to bury it... here's yer sign! Chuck *** Similar story... I was broke down at 4 am in the middle of nowhere, hood up and a wrench in my hand, some cop finally stops after driving past 2-3 times...over the course of a couple hours. "Whatcha doin' out here?" he asked. "Building a car from scratch, it's almost done!" I answered. Here's yer sign! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #5 August 6, 2005 C'mon guys! I get frustration with people that are even dumber than me, but at the same time I am grateful that they are there as living, breathing examples that I could have turned out worse. It's kind of like my attitude toward gay guys. Personally, I wish every guy on the planet *except* me was gay. I'm thinking my love life would be a whole lot better than it is now! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #6 August 6, 2005 QuoteIt's kind of like my attitude toward gay guys. Personally, I wish every guy on the planet *except* me was gay. I'm thinking my love life would be a whole lot better than it is now! Walt Whoa, that is an interesting spin on the straight/gay debate! ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #7 August 6, 2005 Yeah, it'd be your rotten luck, all the women would suddenly become lesbians! Aw hell, it's just fun to pick on folks. I have been known to pull some pretty dumb stunts or say something stupid without thinking. I pick on everybody... cus dammit... they all like to pick on me! It's the American way! BTW I don't mean a thing by it, either. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone... unless of course, they needed it! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #8 August 6, 2005 QuoteQuoteIt's kind of like my attitude toward gay guys. Personally, I wish every guy on the planet *except* me was gay. I'm thinking my love life would be a whole lot better than it is now! Walt Whoa, that is an interesting spin on the straight/gay debate! I've felt that way for a long time. Seems like an odd attitude at first glance, but you've got to admit the reasoning is pretty tough to argue with. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #9 August 6, 2005 QuoteQuoteQuoteIt's kind of like my attitude toward gay guys. Personally, I wish every guy on the planet *except* me was gay. I'm thinking my love life would be a whole lot better than it is now! Walt Whoa, that is an interesting spin on the straight/gay debate! I've felt that way for a long time. Seems like an odd attitude at first glance, but you've got to admit the reasoning is pretty tough to argue with. Walt Yes your reasoning is perfect...it's the only reason my hubby was ok with one of my guy friends from work (who also happened to be one of my bosses ). He wouldn't mind me picking him up from the airport or taking him back out or having lunch or whatever because hey...he's gay, it's not like anything's gonna happen! ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #10 August 6, 2005 QuoteYeah, it'd be your rotten luck, all the women would suddenly become lesbians! Aw hell, it's just fun to pick on folks. I have been known to pull some pretty dumb stunts or say something stupid without thinking. I pick on everybody... cus dammit... they all like to pick on me! It's the American way! BTW I don't mean a thing by it, either. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone... unless of course, they needed it! Chuck Yeah, you seem like a really good guy. My specialty in the stupidity department is social blunders. One of my all-time favorite social blunders happened when I was at a party at a friends house. A couple came walking in and I saw that the girl was on crutches. I cleverly asked, "Oh, what did you do--break your leg?" As the very last millisecond of the last syllable of that sentence left my mouth, I noticed she was missing one of her feet. D'oh!!!!! (Needless to say, I felt like a big-time idiot, and rightfully so) That was years ago. I had an experience a couple of years ago that provided some evidence that I'm actually capable of learning from my mistakes. I was with my (now ex-) girlfriend at a restaurant one day. She was well-familiar with the story of me making that idiotic comment to the girl who had the missing foot. Anyway, there was kind of a loud, crashing sound right behind me. It turned out that a woman sitting directly behind me was on crutches and had leaned her crutches against the wall. The noise was caused by the crutches falling over. Of course, I picked up the crutches, leaned them against the wall, and made a real point of keeping my mouth shut except for saying, "you're very welcome", after she thanked me. I gave my girlfriend a large, pasted-on grin, knowing that she knew I was thinking of my previous social-blunder and just looking for me to do something equally as stupid. But I held firm. Wow--was I proud of myself! As the woman on crutches was leaving, I noticed she was missing a foot. I just about choked. "Walt", I was thinking, "you will never truly redeem yourself for all of your zillions of social blunders, but now, on at least one occasions in your life, you have shown that you can learn from your mistakes." Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #11 August 6, 2005 My thinking is a bit beyond that. I am pretty much a slave to the women of the world. They have my undivided attention. In my twisted version of a perfect world, thew will have solid reason to lower their standards to the point where I will seem like a fairly hot date! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenz 0 #12 August 6, 2005 Quote Idiot Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an "intellectually challenged" co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?" . this made me laugh so hard - it reminded me of this girl that was in one of my sign language classes in high school... our teacher was telling us how she studied at gallaudett university in d.c. and how for the first 2 weeks of classes her teacher gave her these headphones to wear and walk around with -all the headphones played was white noise - so that most of the other sounds were filtered out - after the story this girl (who was notorious for asking stupid questions) raised her hand and goes "oh so is that what is sounds like to be deaf?" the rest of the class go super quiet and looked at her in total shock - and i had to put my hands over my mouth and eventually leave the room cause i was laughing so hard - i couldnt believe that someone would ask such a DUMB question"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #13 August 6, 2005 Well, thank you. I'm tryin'. You don't seem too bad yourself. Aw heck, over the years, I've made some really ugly social blunders. As it is with social blunders, they come back in my mind to haunt me, when I least expect them. Only to help keep me from making an ass of myself once again. I'll bet, the first lady who that happened with, has long forgotten it. The other lady, was your 'second chance'... you did good! I really believe, things happen for a reason. We might not, at the time, know what that reason is but, we eventually learn. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #14 August 6, 2005 I, too, have many social blunders. One that sticks in my mind is from Christmas about 10 years ago. I worked at Cracker Barrel as a waitress. They had a company Christmas party and they supplied the meat, veggies. The employees were asked to simply bring a dessert. The tables had been shoved together to create a somewhat "family" atmosphere. I had my family and some of my best friends from the restaurant sitting around me. Dinner was through and we were eating our desserts. I had gotten a small sampling of a lot of different things to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. I pick up this white thing. To this day, I think it was supposed to be a cookie. I take a bite of it. It was SO awful, I spit it back out onto my plate. I proceeded to make some rude comment about how I didn't know who had made it, but it was the most disgusting thing I had ever eaten. Who made it? Yup...you guessed it! It was one of my best friends. You should have seen the look on her face. OMG...I could have crawled under the table and died. My husband (at the time) had a field day with it and told that story for probably 10 years running at parties, dinners and the like.Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #15 August 6, 2005 That's a GREAT one!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cHoDaBoY 0 #16 August 7, 2005 QuoteC'mon guys! I get frustration with people that are even dumber than me, but at the same time I am grateful that they are there as living, breathing examples that I could have turned out worse. It's kind of like my attitude toward gay guys. Personally, I wish every guy on the planet *except* me was gay. I'm thinking my love life would be a whole lot better than it is now! Walt ohhhhhhhh, I get it now. You want all the guys to be gay so you can have all the woman. At first I thought you were saying something else Q. Why do birds sing? A. Because they dont have to pack when they land Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #17 August 7, 2005 QuoteQuoteC'mon guys! I get frustration with people that are even dumber than me, but at the same time I am grateful that they are there as living, breathing examples that I could have turned out worse. It's kind of like my attitude toward gay guys. Personally, I wish every guy on the planet *except* me was gay. I'm thinking my love life would be a whole lot better than it is now! Walt ohhhhhhhh, I get it now. You want all the guys to be gay so you can have all the woman. At first I thought you were saying something else Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh, I never looked at it THAT way before! No, my fantasy does NOT involve zillions of gay guys lining up at my door, trying to turn me out! The idea is that if every guy in the world, except me, were gay, the women of the world just might lower their standards enough to think I was a pretty hot date! It occurred to me well after that posting that I should have explicitly stated that my corresponding attitude is that even though it would be a really sad state of affairs for the world if everyone were dumber than me, I wouldn't mind too much. Who knows? In that scenario, there might even be a few women dumb enough to date me! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cHoDaBoY 0 #18 August 7, 2005 QuoteThe idea is that if every guy in the world, except me, were gay Ok I'm down with dat, include me Q. Why do birds sing? A. Because they dont have to pack when they land Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #19 August 7, 2005 QuoteQuoteThe idea is that if every guy in the world, except me, were gay Ok I'm down with dat, include me Right on. Ladies, if our fantasy comes true. You can share us! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #20 August 7, 2005 Quote...My specialty in the stupidity department is social blunders. First formal dinner...girlfriend's house to meet the parents....I drank the fingerbowl....nobody said a word for the longest time. DUH! My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cHoDaBoY 0 #21 August 7, 2005 QuoteQuote...My specialty in the stupidity department is social blunders. First formal dinner...girlfriend's house to meet the parents....I drank the fingerbowl....nobody said a word for the longest time. DUH! mmmmmmmmmmm lemony Q. Why do birds sing? A. Because they dont have to pack when they land Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #22 August 7, 2005 QuoteQuote...My specialty in the stupidity department is social blunders. First formal dinner...girlfriend's house to meet the parents....I drank the fingerbowl....nobody said a word for the longest time. DUH! I'm a casual kind of guy. I didn't even know what a finger bowl was until I looked it up a few moments ago: From http://www.yourdictionary.com: finger bowl - A small bowl that holds water for rinsing the fingers at the table. That is f***ing hysterical!!! edited to add: So, how was it and were there any dates after that? Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tsisson 0 #23 August 7, 2005 I have an idiot sighting every morning when I shave. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #24 August 7, 2005 QuoteI have an idiot sighting every morning when I shave. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #25 August 7, 2005 QuoteQuoteQuote...My specialty in the stupidity department is social blunders. First formal dinner...girlfriend's house to meet the parents....I drank the fingerbowl....nobody said a word for the longest time. DUH! mmmmmmmmmmm lemony This happened--definitely--at the Kennedy White House and--reportedly--at Windsor Castle. Both the President, the First Lady and the Queen of England purportedly drank lemon water to keep their erring guests from humiliation. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
