lisamariewillbe 1 #1 July 23, 2005 So men, is it okay if your girlfriend has a male bestfriend? What if both the best friend and the guy are both protective yet jealous people? Just curious on how you men think, and girls what are your opinions on this manifestation of male hatred?Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ifall 0 #2 July 23, 2005 I think it's perfectly fine. I don't have just ONE best friend so who cares what gender they are. I'm not insecure though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VanillaSkyGirl 6 #3 July 23, 2005 Quote So men, is it okay if your girlfriend has a male bestfriend? What if both the best friend and the guy are both protective yet jealous people? Just curious on how you men think, and girls what are your opinions on this manifestation of male hatred? Most of my life, my best/closest friends have been male. However, when I am in love with a man, he is usually my best friend. Thankfully, I have also recently had several close female friends in my life. Still, there is nothing quite like having a charming gentleman friend or two in a young lady's life. I love many men in my life (brothers, father, friends), but I am in love with only one man. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dixieskydiver 0 #4 July 23, 2005 I got jealous in a situation like that once, but it was long distance. I think it really depends on the people and the situation. Dixie HISPA #56 Facil Rodriguez "Scientific research has shown that 60% of the time, it works every time." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #5 July 23, 2005 Quote So men, is it okay if your girlfriend has a male bestfriend? What if both the best friend and the guy are both protective yet jealous people? Just curious on how you men think, and girls what are your opinions on this manifestation of male hatred? Absolutely ok. Many of my closest friends have been women, so even if it bothered me I wouldn't be able to say anything. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #6 July 23, 2005 Your boyfriend just needs to suck it up!Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #7 July 23, 2005 It was hypothecital hmmmm not spelled right but oh well.Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #8 July 23, 2005 Here's my theory. I don't think I should tell anyone including an SO who her friends should be. Besides.........why be jealous.........I don't think being jealous has EVER stopped anyone from cheating. If your SO is a cheater they are going to no matter how jealous you are. So............discuss some rules with them and then let it be. All that being said............my ex-wife got that way by fucking her "friend." Won't change me though. I refuse to have to act like a guard dog. If a chick wants to be with me............then she should. If she doesn't.............then go away. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #9 July 23, 2005 well, since I am somewhat interested in becoming a marriage/family counselor, I disagree with those in relationships whose best friend is of the opposite sex, who is NOT their SO. I know everyone is so free spirited these days and "open", but IMHO the person you are dating/married to should BE your best friend. Since I am dating a wonderful, hot skydiver, he knows I love people and talk to guys all the time; yet he can also trust me, cause I don't talk to these guys the same way I do him, and these guys really aren't SUPER close friends. It's not a matter of jealousy or anything--I just think that maintaining intimacy with your SO/spouse requires you to limit time with the opposite sex. I know this probably isn't a very popular opinion, but I don't careWhen I get married some day, I plan on having a wonderful marriage and one way I can insure it stays healthy, is by putting my husband first and limiting my close friendships to him and other females. Just my 2 cents! Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #10 July 23, 2005 Quote When I get married some day, I plan on having a wonderful marriage and one way I can insure it stays healthy, is by putting my husband first and limiting my close friendships to him and other females. Just my 2 cents! Huh? WTF, over? I've dated women who have had men as extremely good friends and never once worried about cheating. I would never, could never, think to tell the person I'm with whom they can or cannot be friends with. It's nothing more than a bad power-play of control. Case in point, my late fiance had a guy friend that she'd known since kindergarten, and had saved her life once when she was a teen. Was he one of her best friends? You'd damn well better believe it. Good guy, too, as I'd got to know him when we'd go out to dinner with him and his girlfriend. Sorry, count me as one of those people who trusts my mate enough to know who she's going home with, just like she knows that about me. One of my best friends, D, is my roommate, who happens to be my ex-girlfriend. Does it bother my girlfriend Missy (Dagny) that me and my ex/roommate are living under the same roof? Not a bit. Missy also knows I'd still walk through broken glass if D needed help. That's just how I am with my friends. I dunno, maybe I've just never bought into all of that jealousy nonsense. If I had to worry about her, I wouldn't be with her, and likewise for her views on me.Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #11 July 23, 2005 Quote That's just how I am with my friends. Yeah.............picked that out about you right away. I have MANY aquaintances but few friends. You're on the friend list bro. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #12 July 23, 2005 Quote Yeah.............picked that out about you right away. I have MANY aquaintances but few friends. You're on the friend list bro. Likewise, . You know I think of you as my brother from another mother. There are few people that make that list.Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpchikk 0 #13 July 23, 2005 I have guy friends. I have more guy friends than girl friends. Always have and always will. I find it easier to talk to guys. Like Kris and Clay, I do have a lot of acquaintances, but few friends. When I am in a relationship, I do consider the other person my best friend. I guess that's why I'm still really good friends with a couple of my exes. I dated a guy for almost 5 years (total) and he didn't want me having any type of guy friends... but he also was very jealous of my family/pets, etc... very controlling person... I guess that's why I'm so adamant about my independence now... This life is too freakin short to be worried about what your SO is wanting you to do all the time. I guess that's one of the biggest reasons I don't have one. Yes, I do see the benefits of having someone, but if they are causing me more grief than not, what's the point? I want my life to be guilt free and I want to enjoy it... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #14 July 23, 2005 Quote I want my life to be guilt free and I want to enjoy it... EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!! Quote You know I think of you as my brother from another mother. You're not going to try and kiss me are you? Cause.........if you are I am scared. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #15 July 23, 2005 DITTOSudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #16 July 23, 2005 Chris, I am not saying I won't have guy friends if I get married...just not really close friends. I also believe if you get married, you should stick with your vows too. Man I am old fashioned. I have always had great relationships, never have had anything bitter with any of my bf's. I have the most fun relationships Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #17 July 23, 2005 Quote DITTO Oh stop it........... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #18 July 23, 2005 Quote I also believe if you get married, you should stick with your vows too. I don't remember exclusive friendship being part of the vows. Or maybe you don't trust yourself with having an extra-marital friendly relationship without ending up in nookie bangbang? "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbc 0 #19 July 23, 2005 Most of my encounters with guys who have had problems with my male best friend, say that men only want one thing from a woman and it ain't her friendship..... course this isn't true in all situations, my best friend is gay. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #20 July 23, 2005 Quote course this isn't true in all situations, my best friend is gay. Are you SURE he isn't "Bi?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #21 July 23, 2005 It follows the same rules as any other friendship. 1. Are they doing stuff for you that they wouldn't do for their other guy friends ? Buying dinner, concert tickets, paying for stuff. 2. What is the content of conversations ? Does it get guided over to sexual content ? Joke, innuendo ? "Testing the waters." 3. What is the body language ? 4. Targets ? Are they only "friends" and "huggy" with potential dates and attractive people ? I have a huge number of female acquaintances, some are friends. Some are honest about their intentions, some aren't. It's generally easy to tell. If someone was hitting on me in the presence of my g/f and saying it was only kidding around, that would be extremely dishonest. I wouldn't expect for them to put up with that type of rudeness for a minute. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #22 July 23, 2005 Quote Quote course this isn't true in all situations, my best friend is gay. Are you SURE he isn't "Bi?" Just because you are doesnt mean everyone is Clay.... Clay and Kris, you 2, I always though of you as my brothers form other fathers... how do they call these again... damm english language... it starts with bast---- I think...Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
haymangonzo 0 #23 July 23, 2005 My wife's best friend is a guy and gay! Actually he is a gay guy. I mean he's gay and I don't see him as a guy. It's like he's not a guy, but gay. Oh whatever... *** Nice to meet you toot! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,073 #24 July 24, 2005 >since I am somewhat interested in becoming a marriage/family > counselor, I disagree with those in relationships whose best friend is > of the opposite sex, who is NOT their SO. I think these are two opposite things. Nothing wrong with having an opinion on relationships, but if you are interested in becoming a counselor of any sort, I think it's important to do what's best for the relationship, rather than what you think is correct. In any relationship, the only two people who have to agree on what the 'correct' behavior is are the two people involved. If a man wants to spend every night out with the boys, and his wife is fine with that, then it's not a problem - even if you think he should spend more time at home. Likewise, if a woman wants a lot of close male friends, and her husband is OK with that, that's OK. I think a counselor's role might be to point out potential problems with that, but it is definitely not his/her role to say "I don't think that's right! I wouldn't do that." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelimit 0 #25 July 24, 2005 I know the feeling...Got screwed twice by ex's (cheating) in my life...Now for some odd reason I just have a hard time trusting...ummm wonder why?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
