-What's the worst thing you ever said to a cop??

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Today was the best. I was in a car accident (please everyone send flowers and sympathy and chocolate, I am in IMMENSE pain) <---kidding, no big deal guys

...so waiting for the fire trucks and the ambulance, I'm chatting with the local five-o. Nice guy. He says he can't take the report, because that particular stretch of road was Highway Patrol, so we'd have to wait until they got there.

Acme: "Highway Patrol? A-ha. Everything I understand about your job, it's responsibilities, and highway patrol's job and their responsibilities I learned from watching the movie 'Super Troopers'."

[silence]



"There's some good information in that movie," he says back.

>phew!< He was a particularly big tall cop, and it wouldn't have been good if he was upset.

We proceded to talk about the FAA exam I was missing at that moment for my IFR ground school, and why I wanted to be a pilot, and skydiving! <--- no shit! -It always turns to skydiving.


So what have you had the rocks to say to a cop? I've said worse, but I won't tell...yet.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[BillyVance 34]

I got pulled over for speeding in some hick town near the Gulf beaches in Alabama. I tried to use a card that I was given by a deaf friend that basically said something like "driver is deaf and is entitled by law to a sign language interpreter on the spot, blah blah blah"... well, that didn't go over well with the fat cop. Apparently I already had a speeding ticket the previous year on the same stretch of highway there and the cop wrote down for me "SIGN THIS TICKET OR GO TO JAIL!"

Fucking bitch ass motherfucker... oh well, I signed it...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[bobsled92 0]

Do you know how fast you were going?
Yep, I figured I have 90 miles to go and I have to be there in 1 hour.
(I was 16 at the time)

_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

[hexadecimal 0]

Said to a suburb cop who pulled me over for going 7 over in an industrial park on an empty 2 lane (each way) road, and he pulled me over into the parking lot at work:

(I had already figured out that he wasn't going to let me off the hook)

"You should consider losing some weight so that you can go fight some real crime just like the grown-up cops in the city do"

[IanHarrop 42]

Once asked cop "What did the hair lip pig say?"
He didn't know so I told him
"Canh Iah seeh yoo Drithers Lichence and Registhstrathion Plesth"

Good thing he was off duty, really drunk amd a friend

"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy

[hexadecimal 0]

This one wasn't me, but a drunk friend after being jabbed in the back with a night stick by a big burly she-male cop because he wouldn't get up against the car:

"Wow, you've got a huge penis"

(the young male rookie cop with her had to bite his lip to avoid laughing)

[grue 1]

"So help me god, newbie, if you write that ticket I'll have your head on a stick in my lawn by sunrise"

No, wait, I was only thinking that...

Lucky for him, he didn't write the ticket....

cavete terrae.

[Zenister 0]

a local GA 'county mountie' after a bit of Q&A on exactly why he had pulled me over

Quote

"So let me see if i have this right... you claim you clocked me at 95 mph from the oncoming lane while travelling at speed 60 mph, in traffic with a semi less than 20m in from and another in the left lane beside me, with an X band handheld, calibrated nearly 4 months ago using a tuning fork at a distance of 10 feet, all while driving, in the rain??"

Yes Mr B.

"Do you have any idea what the radar cross section of a raindrop is?"

blank stare

"you know, i bet the judge is going to LOVE this"

slow down Mr B...

but actually the worst thing i ever said to a cop (who also happened to be my great uncle) was (as a mouthy 8 year old)

"there is NO WAY your gonna hogtie me and leave me out on the balcony in the snow..."

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[BoostedXT 0]

I got pulled over on my motorcycle. When I got off the bike I took my helmet off......the coat was a young arrogant jerk off....so I took my leather coat off and on the front of my shirt in big white letters was written....

"COPS LIE."

he didnt like it very much
Joe

For long as you live and high you fly and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry and all that you touch and all that you see is all your life will ever be.
Pedro Offers you his Protection.

[MNM604 0]

I licked a cops face a year ago on june 4th. We are still together. I did not have to say anything.

[bobsled92 0]

Thing said to a Cop.
oh, i FORGOT....
Q= "How many times do I have to tell you!"



A= "6" (I was ten)
He was about to whack me, then he burst out into laughter ('gotta love my Dad)

_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/

[freeflir29 0]

"You lieing sack of shit cunt!!!!!!!!" Yelled at the top of my lungs in court. Funny............the judge, my attorneys, and pretty much everyone else in the room didn't seem to be amused. The OSI agent didn't have anything to say though. She knew she was about to be in deep shit! I hope I run into her again someday. I will beat that bitch senseless on sight.

[mr2mk1g 10]

Cop stood with a bunch of kids 200yds+ down a road past a junction I was intending to turn up.

The cop looked up the road towards me and put his hand up to stop traffic coming towards him. I figured he was stopping the main road only (as that was the traffic comming towards him) and that as I was turning right, off the road he was controlling and was right by the junction he wasn't controlling me.

I paused and then moved forward again to complete my turn.

The cop whipped round and held his hand up again at me and slowly marched over to me. He took an age to get to me – meanwhile traffic in all directions was stopped.

When he finally arrived at my window he basically told me very rudely that he was controlling traffic and when he was controlling traffic everyone had to do what he said.

Well he was far too rude for me... if he hadn't have been rude I would have thanked him and waited while he fannied arround. But no, he was very very rude.

So I told him I was turning right – as indicated by the fact that I was sat in the right hand filter lane from which I was only permitted to turn right, and I was indicating right; and additionally there was no reason why I ought not be able to turn right as the kids were 200yds+ past the junction at which I was sat.

I then asked how he possibly thought he was controlling a junction by standing 200yrds past it.

He didn't respond immediately so I drove off.

I never heard anything about it so I guess he was either unable to get my registration number in time or agreed with me.

Stoopid, but there's no excuse for rudeness.

[wmw999 2,452]

When I was 4, my mother was stopped by an officer for speeding. 3 kids in the car (I was the oldest). My mother was an impatient sort on the road, and I'd learned well. After he'd taken darn well long enough giving her the ticket/warning (dunno which), I leaned forward from the back seat and said "Hurry up officer -- get a wiggle on!"

Rumor was he didn't think it was cute. Hmph.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[kingbunky 3]

my buddy and i, after a long day of unrelated silliness, got stopped for rolling a stop sign, at 2am, in a town too small for a traffic light, with about a dozen foot tall pot plants on the floor in the back seat. (enough comma's for you?) the cop shined (shone?) his flashlight into the back seat and asked "what are those?"

my buddy replies "i don't suppose you'd believe me if i said tomato plants..."

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[Icon134 0]

one late (2 am or so..) summer night in 2002 my father and I caravaning down a straight stretch of road which has a speed limit of 55 mph (we were averaging more like 70 mph) when a cop pulled the two of us over...

My father informed the officer that we were only out that late (and driving the way we were) because we had gone to a town north of there to rescue my then very senile grandfather and more or less just wanted to get home... ...

he told us to slow down and let us off with a warning (it didn't hurt that the story was true... (btw: that was a very long day... I had gotten up that friday morning about 0500 to get sworn in as a E-5 in the Air Force... and was to report to maxwell for OTS the following Tuesday... and we didn't get home from saving my Grandpa until 0530 saturday morning... )

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[mr2mk1g 10]

oh yeah - that reminds me. When I was 4 my mother told me to go piss up the side of a Polish cop car that had just pulled her over for "speeding".

While she was negotiating the level of the "Mandat" (or on the spot fine that HQ never sees) I was sent to drop trow and give his car a good soaking.

[Icon134 0]

then there was the time my friends and I were caught loading "for sale" signs into the trunk of my car...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[Thanatos340 1]

I was driving though some County roads near my hometown with a friend who was a pretty drunk.

A county sheriffs dept car pull out behind us and hits the lights. My Buddy who is the real paranoid type start getting nervous because I had a couple drinks myself. I pull over.
The Female Sheriffs Deputy walks up and just stands at my window. Before she can say anything, I go off on her.
Ask her," What’s your Problem?? Not getting enough lately??". "Your man mot taking care of you lately?".

My buddy is freaking out saying "Dude, Shut Up!!"

The Deputy opens my Door and tells me to get out.
My Buddy is like, "Oh Shit!!".

I get out and she gives me a Big Hug and we catch up on old times. Her and I had dated at one time and were still really good friends. My poor friend in the car with me had no idea. We laughed about it for days afterwards.

[sunshine 2]

I'm wearing new shoes and they're really heavy. Thats why i was pushing down so far on the gas pedal.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[chuckbrown 0]

When I was a wee lad, my dad took me to a Vietnam anti-war demonstration in DC on his motorcycle & got pulled over by a cop. After waiting for what seemed like forever, I finally yelled back to my dad (who was trying very hard not to get thrown in jail for a variety of motor vehicle violations), "Hey dad, what's the pig want?!?"

Some how he got out of the mess. I guess the cop didn't want to spend a beautiful spring day at the station writing up paperwork.

[jimmytavino 16]

... not very bad,, but certainly very stupid...

It was late at nite

the cops car was sitting parked at a convenience store...

my buddy was driving and he said nothing, but I rolled down my window as we parked next to the squad car,, to ask,,,, "Hey are there any all night liquor stores around here??? " " we just polished off our second bottle of Jack D and wanna get a replacement..."
..... Like i said,, I wasn't driving but i was "flyin"
... the cop????? NO sense of humor whatsoever....

[TheAnvil 0]

My cop-friend pulled me over the morning after he and I were on a tequila drinking frenzy. He was so out of it he didn't realize it was me he pulled over. He didn't look at me and asked me for my license and I said 'Fuck you, Barney Fife! You're still too drunk to read!'

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!

[aftermid 0]

I thought about being a cop, but I went to college instead.

[tigra 0]

A few years ago I watched the Chicago Buls win the championship at a Wrigleyville Bar with some friends. My friends lived in the neighborhood and knew the manager of the bar. He sent us over some souvenir panties in plastic souvenir cups as a "gift". After the game, as I was walking towards Addison Street to catch a tax (a wee bit buzzed) a cop stopped me and asked me what was in the cup. I giggled, pulled the panties out and waved them in the air at him! "They're panties, officer!" then, a little more subdued, I said, "I'm just going to try and catch a cab, OK?"