I do not like your children

[gjhdiver 0]

I don't give a flying arse about your children. I don't care who they are, where they are, how old they are, or what they are doing. Want me to see pictures of your kids or grandkids? Sure, but hold on while I turn on the paper shredder.

What's that? You're selling cookies/candy/raffles/ornaments/prizes/trinkets so little Johnny and Sarah Jane can waste an afternoon at Disneyland? Sure I'll take some candy just so long as I can smash it in your face and retrieve it from your crusty rectum. This is an office where I work -- not a goddamn bazaar to peddle the wares of your snotnosed offspring.

I don't care how smart you think your kids are. No, your children aren't geniuses. You'll be lucky if your brats move out of your hovel at age 30, after they've climbed the ladder to success making change at a gas station.

You love your children? Good, I suppose you're obliged to, tell it to someone who gives a shit.

And while I'm at it, keep your brats out of movie theaters and restaurants. Seriously, no one wants the living incarnation of your seed disturbing our shows and meals, spreading viruses and bacteria with every goddamn thing they touch. You need a night out? Fine, hire someone else's brat to watch yours, you cheap bastard.

No, I don't want to pay more in taxes to send your pathetic pieces of dopeshit to school. Oh, you want "more resources"? Better "facilities"? Better student-teacher "ratios"? Well la-de-fucking-da, why don't you pay for it yourself ? If you're not catching my drift, let me make it clear, I don't want to throw my money away educating your third-rate douchenozzle of a kid so he or she can wash my car on the weekend. You gave birth to it, you pay for it.

And thinking of that, your kid doesn't look bright enough to wash my car. I have a very expensive car that he might ruin. I got it because I don't have kids.

Seriously though, he looks like he has an odd number of chromosomes. Was he really the fastest sperm ?

Your children are our future? Fuck the future, fuck your kids, and fuck you.

Ahhh, now I feel better.

How's everybody else's day going ?

[Remster 30]

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How's everybody else's day going ?

I hate your parents' children... well, one of them anyways.

Remster

[grue 1]

I find your challenge to my claim to the throne of King of Bitterness laughable. Your feeble attempt to mount an attack on my fiefdom will not end as you wish.

cavete terrae.

[Vallerina 2]

This is why I don't have kids. I have nephews! Everyone wants to hear about my nephews!

I just ranted about this a few days ago. People constantly send out mass emails to the company saying, "Little Johnny is selling candy for his baseball team. Come to the second floor to buy some!" Luckily, the vending machine is closer and cheaper. However, I don't send out a mass email about, "Hey, I'm going to the bars after work for a drink. Stop by and give me money so I can enjoy this experience better."

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[airdvr 210]

How come you're always beating around the bush? Why don't you just tell us how you really feel?

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[Bdog 0]

kids are great! who is gong to push ya in your wheelchair when your old and drowling out of both corners of your mouth?????me? (IT WILL be a wild ride).

_________________________________________

---Future Darwin Award recipient-

[shropshire 0]

Hi Hero,
Wow.. I wish I was this brave......

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[littlestranger 0]

i don't like dogs. wish i could expound on the sentiment as thoroughly as you have about children, but i'm just not that eloquent.

[Rick 67]

who cares if you care?

You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early!

[lawrocket 3]

Well, let me tell you, your concept would be good if my kid wasn't so damned cute. The little stud has some serious game at 9 months old. He digs the ladies, and the ladies dig him. my goodness, that little guy has chicks (hot ones) feeding him and kissing him all over within minutes of meeting them.

Do I have game like that? Nope. Never did. I guess it turns out that gap-toothed gummy grins,laughter and smiles are some keys to the chicks. Also, he's a good listener and never interrupts. How about that?

Conor doesn't need your love. He's go plenty of love coming at him from other places.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[gemini 0]

Glad you like RW and Swooping 'cause my boy Trent would be looking you up at the FF events!

Blue skies,

Jim

[ChrisL 2]

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third-rate douchenozzle of a kid

douchenozzle?


.

__

My mighty steed

[Brains 2]

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I hate your parents' children... well, one of them anyways.

You are a liar!! I saw you letting Gareth grope you all over at the holiday boogie

Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.

[DrewGPM 0]

Great post!

Kids are good for one thing and one thing only. I can't stop laughing when kids start crying. Crying children are, without a doubt, the 2nd funniest thing on the planet. And if they have a temper tantrum...i may very well wet my pant laughing!

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate kids. If you abuse or molest a child, the line to kick your ass starts right behind me. That shit has no place in my world.

But when they cry because you told them no or they didn't get what they wanted...i'm gonna laugh my ass off.

[SkydiveNFlorida 0]

Did you go to a public school?

-A

[Zep 0]

I think you need to stop an think, that the next time you get laid it will be with someones kid

Gone fishing

[jlmiracle 7]

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This is why I don't have kids. I have nephews! Everyone wants to hear about my nephews!

Yep and some nieces and a grand nephew now too. I love them dearly but don't any of my own!

I have these rants every so often but decided noise reducing head phones was the answer (at least on the airplane).

j

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

[Conundrum 1]

wow that was.... cool.

[BillyVance 34]

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***

I have these rants every so often but decided noise reducing head phones was the answer (at least on the airplane).

j

What about the damn kids you dread having in the airline seat directly behind you? I can turn off the volume when one starts acting up. But when they start kicking the backrest of my seat, that really drives me crazy!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[jlmiracle 7]

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What about the damn kids you dread having in the airline seat directly behind you? But when they start kicking the backrest of my seat, that really drives me crazy!

When they kick my seat I slap the parents or ask the flight attendant to remove the problem (loudly).

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I can turn off the volume when one starts acting up.

That's not fair Billy, I'm jealous!

j

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

[BillyVance 34]

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I can turn off the volume when one starts acting up.

That's not fair Billy, I'm jealous!

j

[txojumps 0]

I feel the same way about cats!

***************************************
Awright, guys, you don't have one, so don't act like one

[Katzeye 0]

Even tho this thread is about to get one huge flame going, I have to agree.

There used to be a time when manners were taught in school and at home and were expected of children in public. (oh how I wish I was born in the 40's) I appreciate a well behaved child. I can't even count the times my parents would threaten to put me in the car if I didn't behave at a nice restaurant or at a movie.

It seems that parents these days are so busy with themselves that the thought to actually parent slips their minds... ergo the well deserved rant above. But then monkey-see monkey-do. Most adults don't have manners either, it's a never-ending vicious cycle.

why do you think Nanny-911 is a HIT TV SHOW?!

Kudos to parents who actually parent and teach manners and expect their children to behave.

Oh, and for selling candy and cookies? Keep it in the lunchroom. If I walk by and feel like it, I'll buy one. Don't come to my cube, Don't knock on my door and don't spam me with silly emails for Sally-Jo's trip to the waterpark.

/rant off

LH*

Is a chicken omelette redundant?

[Slappie 9]

for gjhdiver

"Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them."

[ianmdrennan 2]

Probably a repost, but in the spirit of this
Crappy Kids Art

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