peacefuljeffrey 0 #1 May 11, 2005 Went out tonight to buy condoms... aaaand... discovered that the type I like to use is not around at any of the three stores I went to (Walmart, CVS, Walgreens). I wanted Trojan-Enz NON-lubricated. But what is really pathetic is that based on what I saw available, men in this country must be getting really fuckin' pathetic in bed, with the average prowess sinking desperately fuckin' low... because the "family planning" shelf was loaded with lubed, spermicidally lubed, and ULTRA-lubed condoms,. For those of us who DO OUR JOB to get a woman NATURALLY lubed, the pickins were abominably slim. But not only that, there are now condoms with "MALE GENITAL DESENSITIZER"!! So not only are guys apparently not getting their women wet enough, they can't keep from going off half-cocked so they need anesthetic!! And "ULTRA lubed"? The package said, "Because wetter is better." Yeah, I agree, but... NOT [I]ARTIFICIAL[/I] WET!!!! So the rest of us have to suffer with a really lame, narrow selection of condoms. I do NOT want to fuck with a lubed condom! It's a cop-out. And since I don't want anything to keep me from going back down there afterwards at some point, I sure as hell don't want to taste chemical lubricant, much less spermicide! So it seems to me that the fact that guys are relying on condoms to pick up where they are slacking off, the manufacturers have decided there's no money in products for people who can get a girl aroused and who don't shoot off prematurely. It's getting to where it is inconvenient to actually be good in bed! -Jeffrey-Jeffrey "With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #2 May 11, 2005 I dont even NEED to read the entire post...YOU BOUGHT CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????? I think we need to chat about it. I'm about to be your neighbor next month...so please share... _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peacefuljeffrey 0 #3 May 11, 2005 QuoteI dont even NEED to read the entire post...YOU BOUGHT CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????? I think we need to chat about it. I'm about to be your neighbor next month...so please share... Before I even begin, what the heck are YOU doing up at this hour?! Yeah, I bought condoms... Got a problem with that? -Jeffrey-Jeffrey "With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #4 May 11, 2005 _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stumpy 284 #5 May 11, 2005 Trojan - now thats a proper manly name - not like "Mates" Never try to eat more than you can lift Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hungarianchick 0 #6 May 11, 2005 Whatever happened to good old sheep gut? Seriously, LMAO! The dramatic shift in the condom market is shocking! "I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
udder 0 #7 May 11, 2005 Personally the range of condoms is liberating. No longer is foreplay neccesary, I can abuse myself a dozen times a day and not worry about the consequences of premature ejaculation. I can make it look like a light sabre(miniture version), pink, green, yellow, studded or ribbed. I can also have it flavoured with strawberry, rasberry, mint of chocolate. Plus im ugly so lubricated condoms are cool. Just have to fix up my frequent inability to get it up and I will be invincible in bed. With a glow in the dark flavoured pleasure-extending vibrating condom. Not those pussy non lubricated ones"In one way or the other, I'm a bad brother. Word to the motherf**ker." Eazy-E Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #8 May 11, 2005 There are other places that you can buy them - like "adult toy store." Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #9 May 11, 2005 If it's all that upsetting to you why not just stick to what you do best, and WANKYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
craichead 0 #10 May 11, 2005 QuoteFor those of us who DO OUR JOB to get a woman NATURALLY lubed, the pickins were abominably slim. Dude, I think you need to learn a lot more about women's bodies and stop portraying yourself like you're God's gift to women. (I kid the PJ!) Sometimes a woman just can't produce that much natural lubrication, no matter how good you are or how long you try. Several factors may include the type of contraception she's using, the dosage of hormonal birth control, other medications, natural hormonal fluctuations, etc. Every woman is different. Lube is definitely our friend...it creates opportunity for more fun and more diverse sex. QuoteAnd since I don't want anything to keep me from going back down there afterwards at some point, I sure as hell don't want to taste chemical lubricant, much less spermicide! But you don't mind the taste/smell of latex from the condom?! Agree with you on the desensitizer, though...that's just lame. But it's also a lot of marketing hype, imho...along with all the "ribbed for her pleasure" crap. _Pm__ "Scared of love, love and aeroplanes...falling out, I said takes no brains." -- Andy Partridge (XTC) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #11 May 11, 2005 You do realize that some women can't get that wet right? Sometimes it has nothing to do with the guy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #12 May 11, 2005 Exactly. I second Conundrum and Craichead's sentiments. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisL 2 #13 May 11, 2005 Why not just start a thread called "I think I'm really awesome in the sack" Instead of using a rant about condoms to hide it in __ My mighty steed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #14 May 11, 2005 http://www.condomania.com/sdx/H18396.jsp http://www.abccondoms.com/trenznonlu12.html Two online stores that specialize in condoms. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkySurfSnow 0 #15 May 11, 2005 It's totally the introduction of anti-depressants, man. Ever try to get anything to happen with a girl that's loaded up on Welbutrin, Laxapro, Carbitrol...whatever pill that' bringing back the sunshine in our lives? Man, I don't care if you've got a nine inch tongue with a big wart on the end...the possibility that nothing is going to happen and ya' need to be prepared. Oh wait...maybe I should stop dating psychos? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goose491 0 #16 May 11, 2005 QuoteWhy not just start a thread called "I think I'm really awesome in the sack" Instead of using a rant about condoms to hide it in That's funny. Very well put I agree though, with the whole desensitisation ones. I bought them by mistake one time (I swear it was a mistake, I wouldn't wish these on my worst enemy). All I can say is if there are guys out there that need this product, why are you having sex at all? Blowing the head-gasget prematurely has got to feel better than... nothing! Because that's all you feel with those things on... NOTHING! Just try to picture this one though guys. I'm not joking, I picked up a box in a rush and had no idea they were the f*cking Novocaine ones until 5-10 minutes in when all of the sudden... my dick was gone! Whew... it's still there. But can you imagine how scared I was until we put two and two together? My Karma ran over my Dogma!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bch7773 0 #17 May 11, 2005 my problem is that the stores never have the Super-Extra long, Extra wide condoms that I have to use. I mean, even the extra-large condoms just aren't big enough. MB 3528, RB 1182 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peacefuljeffrey 0 #18 May 11, 2005 Quotemy problem is that the stores never have the Super-Extra long, Extra wide condoms that I have to use. I mean, even the extra-large condoms just aren't big enough. Cuuuuuute! Yeah yeah yeah, I was going to make a thread "I Am So Fucking Great In Bed," but I thought that would just be like banging y'all over the head with it. Decided to go for the subtle approach. No really, all this was really about is that for some reason they must have decided that non-lubricated Trojan-Enz (the Enz is for the receptacle tip, which I find convenient) weren't getting the market share to make them worth continuing... Or maybe they're still available and I just haven't been to the right store? Anyway, I was just kind of suprised to find that there were SO many lubed ones and like ONE, maybe TWO types of non-lubed ones -- and it's not like they are not on a shelf alongside all the "personal lubricants" to begin with. I say, offer more non-lubed for when we don't need to use additional (chemical) help in that area, and if we need to, we can use some Astro-Glide (I picked up a little bottle of it just in case.) I understand what you're all saying about how not all women in all circumstances will lube-up as much as desired... I just haven't run into that, and hey, for as long as I can get away with it, I'ma gonna take credit for that!! Y'all have a great day! Blue skies, -Jeffrey-Jeffrey "With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisL 2 #19 May 11, 2005 Quote when all of the sudden... my dick was gone! One word: GAH!!!!!__ My mighty steed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisL 2 #20 May 11, 2005 Quote Yeah yeah yeah, I was going to make a thread "I Am So Fucking Great In Bed," but I thought that would just be like banging y'all over the head with it. Decided to go for the subtle approach. How about "I'm so damn great in the sack that not even the Sahara would need extra lubrication" __ My mighty steed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ncrowe 0 #21 May 11, 2005 QuoteIt's totally the introduction of anti-depressants, man. Ever try to get anything to happen with a girl that's loaded up on Welbutrin, Laxapro, Carbitrol...whatever pill that' bringing back the sunshine in our lives? Man, I don't care if you've got a nine inch tongue with a big wart on the end...the possibility that nothing is going to happen and ya' need to be prepared. Oh wait...maybe I should stop dating psychos? Now thats funny "Don't Mess Around With the Guy in Shades- Oh No!!! " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #22 May 11, 2005 I probably shouldn't have read this thread... good information... but I still proabably shouldn't have read it... TMI people... TMI...Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
craichead 0 #23 May 11, 2005 QuoteI understand what you're all saying about how not all women in all circumstances will lube-up as much as desired... I just haven't run into that, and hey, for as long as I can get away with it, I'ma gonna take credit for that!! Attaboy! That's a much better attitude...go get 'em, tiger! Rowr! Okay, I have no idea where that came from. Too much caffeine. I like ChrisL's suggestion for a thread title! _Pm__ "Scared of love, love and aeroplanes...falling out, I said takes no brains." -- Andy Partridge (XTC) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #24 May 11, 2005 Quote That's funny. Very well put I agree though, with the whole desensitisation ones. I bought them by mistake one time (I swear it was a mistake, I wouldn't wish these on my worst enemy). All I can say is if there are guys out there that need this product, why are you having sex at all? Blowing the head-gasget prematurely has got to feel better than... nothing! Because that's all you feel with those things on... NOTHING! Just try to picture this one though guys. I'm not joking, I picked up a box in a rush and had no idea they were the f*cking Novocaine ones until 5-10 minutes in when all of the sudden... my dick was gone! Whew... it's still there. But can you imagine how scared I was until we put two and two together? OMG!! I'm in tears here from laughing so hard at that. Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelpdiver 2 #25 May 11, 2005 Quote I wanted Trojan-Enz NON-lubricated. You must be the only man alive who would go out of his way for this particular choice. If I wanted sex with an innertube on, I'd go to my bike with some scissors. More seriously, online sources are great. Condomexpress has 50 packs of nice brands (imo) for $15. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
