lightningbugirl 0 #1 May 9, 2005 I don't really want to get married. I know I want to be with my SO for the rest of my life but I don't see what a piece of paper can do. It won't make him want to stay anymore than if he says the words to me and means it. If he doesn't mean it or I don't then it will end anyways, won't it? Even if I have children why is that wrong? Why should anyone get married? I am not religious and even if I was why should it be such a big deal. Is it wrong or weird for a woman to not want to marry? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nbblood 0 #2 May 9, 2005 Have ya checked out the tax advantages? Just kidding. Do whatever feels right. Blues, NathanBlues, Nathan If you wait 'til the last minute, it'll only take a minute. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #3 May 9, 2005 Wow . You're pretty smart. Wanna get married ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #4 May 9, 2005 QuoteI don't really want to get married. I know I want to be with my SO for the rest of my life but I don't see what a piece of paper can do. It won't make him want to stay anymore than if he says the words to me and means it. If he doesn't mean it or I don't then it will end anyways, won't it? Even if I have children why is that wrong? Why should anyone get married? I am not religious and even if I was why should it be such a big deal. Is it wrong or weird for a woman to not want to marry? *** No...but it IS wrong to ask a question like that of THIS group! .......it does tend to make the commitment thing a bit more solid though, little misunderstandings get overlooked more easily... Like just this morning, at breakfast... I "meant" to say ..."please pass the butter..." but what came out was..." You ruined my life you bitch..." Had we not been married, may have caused quite a rip! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Feeblemind 1 #5 May 9, 2005 Marriage is such an individual decision. Yes it is a piece of paper, but when the road gets a little bump that piece of paper becomes a foundation. What I mean is, it is easier to walk away without the ink/law, when you have that piece of paper makes it a little more difficult to say "bitch you ruined my life, I'm leaving!" I know amazing such a feeble mind could go deep. Being married I have had a lot of dialog with my SO, there are times I would have walked if it was not for that piece of paper and I am glad it was there to keep me from making rash decisions. Just my $.02 Fire Safety Tip: Don't fry bacon while naked Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #6 May 9, 2005 Hello LBG My wife and I were together for 14 years without ever thinking of getting married, with reasons almost the same as you and your SO. 3 years ago on a whim we decided to get married, I have to tell you it's MUCH more than just a piece of paper. The ceremony, particularly the vows, was the most sureal experience of my life. Moreover our lives since the (3 years on) has been different scince the marrage. Before we were married I allways said it's just a piece of paper, others said different, I was wrongYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #7 May 9, 2005 Hey there lightningbugirl... I totally agree with you... You are definitely not alone in the least. Especially after being married, and living out the long span, having the children, and already having a father for my children... i don't see the need to get married again. Although I have been engaged to be married after my marriage because it really felt right to complete the relationship with the vows.. some people do recognize this as just a piece of paper and there shouldn't be anything wrong with that. The romantic part about having the "married" status I guess is just the commitment you feel from the other person that wants to take the plunge with you..He is totally wanting to let you know that YOU are the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with... it can feel exceptionally good, and romantic. But most of that I guess is in the heart. However you feel about your S.O. It Should just be mutual, and then who cares if you have that piece of paper... .. I believe most of it is a misconception of how much someone cares about you. Still a romantic side of me thinks about marriage as a significant bond & commitment to the one I will love for the rest of my life... But I believe that part of my life has been lived and done... and no piece of paper will tell me who I will be with or love for the rest of my life.... So.... To answer your question, I don't believe there is anything wrong with being with your S.O. forever without marriage.... as long as it is not your belief to have that piece of paper (as you put it) to live by... some find (especially after being married and divorced) that you really have to believe without a doubt that this is the person you will spend the rest of your life forever, and know it.. and frankly... nobody can say that and believe that in this world today.. I would much rather make it easier on me and my S.O... to go on with our life if (heaven forbid; not to be religiously taken).. things don't work out. _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #8 May 9, 2005 Marriage is one thing, but be careful of tattoos. Tattoos are more difficult to get rid of. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #9 May 9, 2005 Quote.. i don't see the need to get married again. Although I have been engaged to be married after my marriage because it really felt right to complete the relationship with the vowels. Which VOWELS would that be A E I O or UYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #10 May 9, 2005 OMG I was soooo holding that in.. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoysPlayThing 0 #11 May 9, 2005 shaddup!! ... whatever... get your enjoyment off my type O's I dont' care. .. I'm not correcting anything, _______________________________________________ My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flygurl 0 #12 May 9, 2005 I think every relationship is and should be different. What works for me may not work or feel right to you. If you do decide to get married, don't think that it has to be like your parents or friends relationships. To each their own. Do what makes you happy!________________________________________ "One out of every four American's are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dan_iv 0 #13 May 9, 2005 i don't think there is anything really wrong with that... but in most states in the US after X amount of years living together you are considered "common law married"... i think it's 7 years in TX. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #14 May 9, 2005 QuoteTattoos are more difficult to get rid of. The marriage was easy enough to get rid of..........it's the nasty side effects that have continued to linger for the last 8 years. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wartload 0 #15 May 9, 2005 File this in the "free and unwanted advice" department ... DON'T get married. But also DON'T have kids until/unless you find someone to whom you really DO want to get married and who really want's to get married to you. I don't see anything wrong with living with someone as long as you want. I don't see all that much long with a totally committed couple having kids, married or not. However ... It may someday be a source of embarassment and insecurity for the kids, and it's almost certainly a hell of a road for the woman to travel when "baby daddy" walks out because he decides that he wasn't really all that committed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gjhdiver 0 #16 May 9, 2005 QuoteI don't really want to get married. Don't. It kinda sucks. I was glad when I'd had enough. As a wise person once said, "Marry in haste, repent at leisure". Funny that one or two posters say the advantage is that you don't walk when things are bad and stick it out if you're married. For me that's the major advantage of not being married. You don't have to put up with crap because it's too costly or inconvenient to move on. You stay together because you want to, not because you have to. I have lost count of the number of friends I have who are just making the best of it because they are chained down by common property ties and financial obligations. Try not to add to the list. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #17 May 9, 2005 Hi, I don’t have too much to add that hasn't already been said.. But a piece of paper doesn't make a marriage, a stable, loving relationship does. So, if you already have that then you don’t need a ceremony. If it's not broke, it doesn't need fixing. Best wishes, (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
