Girlfalldown 0 #1 May 5, 2005 Today's horoscope is brought to you by: McNeill79 (I don't care if it's a repost. It's still funny) AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you tend to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over and over. Everyone thinks you are stupid. PISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20) You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your associates and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a coward. Pisces people screw animals. ARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19) You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick-tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are a prick. Aries folks are most likely to cause stupid car accidents and work for the IRS. TAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20) You are practical and persistent. You have dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You are nothing but a god-damned communist. GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bi-sexual, however you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest and frequenting hookers. CANCER (June 21 - July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off and that is why you are on welfare and will never be worth a shit. Cancer people make excellent government workers. LEO (July 23 - Aug. 20) You consider yourself a born leader while others think you are a pussy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are always thieves and bastards. Saddaam Hussein is a Leo. VIRGO (Aug. 21 - Sep. 20) You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You can save the money for a flashy car, but still can't get laid. You are cold and unemotional always fall asleep during sex. Virgos make excellent bus drivers and pimps. LIBRA (Sep. 21 - Oct. 20) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man, you are more than likely queer. You can't hold a job and fuck up every relationship. Libra women make excellent whores. All Libras die of venereal disease. SCORPIO (Oct. 21 - Nov. 21) You are a shrewd business type and cannot be trusted. You always achieve the pinnacle of success by fucking your friends and business associates. You are a cold-hearted and ruthless son-of-a-bitch. Scorpio men have tiny pricks. They are always car salesmen or lawyers, and usually end up murdered. SAGITARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. Most Sagitarius people are drunkards and dope fiends. People laugh at you and you are always getting fucked. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Most Capricorns lay around all day eating Doritos while watching talk shows and soap operas. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #2 May 5, 2005 Thanks for not having the most important sign group... Aries. EDIT: Thanks for not responding and editing your post to add the Aries group. Butt fuck the IRS.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vdschoor 0 #3 May 5, 2005 he he.. she better check her sources I think.. she's a bit off with the Virgo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #4 May 5, 2005 Mine's: GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bi-sexual, however you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest and frequenting hookers. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #5 May 5, 2005 Are you prejudiced agains Aquarians? Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #6 May 5, 2005 QuoteThanks for not having the most important sign group... Aries. It's there now. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #7 May 5, 2005 QuoteAre you prejudiced agains Aquarians? Yes. Anything that starts with A is not important enough to post. It's there now. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #8 May 5, 2005 Quotehe he.. she better check her sources I think.. she's a bit off with the Virgo Yep, she's off, but this will be my new sig!! "Virgos make excellent bus drivers and pimps." you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #9 May 5, 2005 QuoteIt's there now. And in the spirit of the thread, I edited my original post.--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #10 May 5, 2005 QuoteQuoteAre you prejudiced agains Aquarians? Yes. Anything that starts with A is not important enough to post. It's there now. Damn, and it is accurate too. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vdschoor 0 #11 May 5, 2005 QuoteQuotehe he.. she better check her sources I think.. she's a bit off with the Virgo Yep, she's off, but this will be my new sig!! "Virgos make excellent bus drivers and pimps." I'll go for the pimp job then, I dont like busses... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmittar 0 #12 May 5, 2005 I'm a gemini too, I guess I'd better start being cheap with my hookers |>.<| Seriously, W.T.F. mate? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mcneill79 0 #13 May 5, 2005 Quoteyou are always getting fucked. This is my favorite part of Sagitarius Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #14 May 5, 2005 I'll give you a friend-discount on my hos. They work out of my bus. I have a delivery service. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmittar 0 #15 May 5, 2005 QuoteI'll give you a friend-discount on my hos. Nice, does that come with an expiration date, or is it open ended? |>.<| Seriously, W.T.F. mate? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #16 May 5, 2005 QuoteQuoteyou are always getting fucked. This is my favorite part of Sagitarius Lucky! I have to pay for mine. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #17 May 5, 2005 QuoteQuoteI'll give you a friend-discount on my hos. Nice, does that come with an expiration date, or is it open ended? Just like my hos - open-ended. you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #18 May 5, 2005 QuoteQuoteIt's there now. And in the spirit of the thread, I edited my original post. PERFECT! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mcneill79 0 #19 May 5, 2005 QuoteLucky! I have to pay for mine. I hear Iwan has a good selection Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pacncathyjr 0 #20 May 5, 2005 Thanks but I don't do drugs my mom would kill me and am not a drunk cuz I leagally can't get drunk. It was nice seeing you in dublin though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ham 0 #21 May 5, 2005 QuoteLibra women make excellent whores! That's what they all say! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
4201 0 #22 May 5, 2005 I think that was the gayist shit I've ever read in my life. Where do you people get this shit? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelel01 1 #23 May 5, 2005 Your momma, you homeless shoeless Mexican in Utah. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rebecca 0 #24 May 5, 2005 QuoteYour momma, you homeless shoeless Mexican in Utah. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh that was SUCH a good 'yo momma'!!! you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #25 May 5, 2005 Quote CANCER (June 21 - July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off and that is why you are on welfare and will never be worth a shit. Cancer people make excellent government workers. I feel happy now... but at least I can work for the gubment. They got great benifits!!!Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
